Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Is it the sign that I am getting older?

I am listening to Russian music much more now

is it because my brain is too tired to take in foreign languages?


here is my new favourite

which happen to be not popular at all

therefore only live video

poooooi mneeeeee drugie pesniiiii

Monday, November 28, 2016

I want to sleep soooooooooo bad

I've slept for two hours today (had early departure)

it is 23.00 now, and I am still not sleeping


because I can't sleep well, knowing that the bathroom is a complete mess


so I had to clean it

how the hell had my roomie lived in such a disaster?

you can eat and breath in the dirt, I don't mind

your choice

but bathroom?

bathroom must be clean

it is the place where you get clean yourself after all

have some respect

for yourself

now I inhaled too much chemicals and my sleep is gone

I feel that I want to sleep

but I can't

oh, well

at least the bathroom is usable now :)

Sunday, November 27, 2016

I know what I want

I know what I want

I know what I want

I know what I want

and no time for distractions anymore


not even for you, My Scandinavian God

Fully Focused :)

Saturday, November 26, 2016

November was a good month for movies

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

I had my doubts when I saw the trailer

but it is aaaaweeeesoooooome

not as exciting as Harry Potter, if you watch it in 2D, but when you add 3D Imax then all the magic happens

it was the first movie that I've seen that made me wanna use my hands to protect my face from flying things

thaaaaat good the special effect are


my were late for 10 minutes (not my fault), so I had not seen the very beginning

and it is still upsets me, because I wanted to see that Harry Potter'ish intro

I am open to invitations and don't mind watching that movie again

in IMAX or Scape


awesome movie

but like I said

Harry Potter did not need 3D to be jaw dropping

Fantastic Beasts would be a little bit boring without 3D

if you are one of those bad people who leave the cinema after 10 minutes of watching if you don't like the beginning

I strongly recommend you waiting for the moment, when they will go into the suitcase to feed the beasts

if you don't like it, then you can leave guilt free

because all the 3D magic begins in all its glory after that moment



I am predictable


Eddie Redmayne stole my heart

such a charming man :)

the next one in my list

you all know

Chaaaaaaarlie in King Arthur


in March

I don't like movies about popular people

or movies made by popular people

but I had one pleasant surprise with Angels and Airwaves and their Love

that line "does it bother you that we are not real?" still gives me chills :)

I have zero movies made about musicians that I at least liked to some extent


not a single one

but something tells me that when I am going to watch this one, I will be smiling a lot


I don't have a feeling

that I am leaving again

it is like I don't see my future in Finland anymore

just a temporary work place there

I know what I want now

My bookstore

and I am going to establish my brand

it is incredible feeling: knowing what you want

as for Finland

those boys won't be having proper Christmas without me


it is like my brand

Winter Holiday Decorations :)

I should have that corner in my bookstore



Friday, November 25, 2016

I turn into a monster

when I play billiards

I do

I am not proud of it

but I am a complete jerk when I play

the evilness of my mean jokes are not even close to being acceptable

but it is good that my girls are the same :)

today we had photoshoot and after that went to play balls

our usual trio + 1 new girl

new for me, but she is an old friend of one of the girls

we played 2 rounds

1 of the games my team won (my YOU DON'T EVEN AIM!!! style continues, bringing luck, but the moment I start carefully aiming I always miss, that was my mistake, because no aim - ball in)

the second round we had technical loss: my partner sent black simultaneously with the white one

I still think it should be taken only as 0,5 win


anyways, after the game the new girl said, that we should shake hands, so that no "hard feelings" left

like waaaaaaaaat

the moment the game stops, we turn back into lovely girls and we are not angry at each other


when the next round begins it is always "our technical loss is the only chance you would ever win, and that is not even a real win" kind of jokes :)

no need to shake hands

we are awesome


Thursday, November 24, 2016

Are people from South Korea

as adorable as they are in their TV shows?

if yes, then I am starting to think that they are the best nation in the world


Wednesday, November 23, 2016

I still love counry

a lot


if you could had been able to cuddle with songs - country is the best pick

I forgot to take pictures

we went to the costume rent today to pick up costumes for the photoshoot in old Russian style

and I completely forgot to take any pictures of the costumes that they had

I am kinda jealous of people who picture everything

when I am into something - I am into something

I have countless memory pictures

and only several in physical world

it is good that I don't waste my time for taking pictures and being present in the moment all the time

but sometimes I just wanna have some

Tuesday, November 22, 2016


I am getting better


only 27 books left

not 29!!!

but simultaneously reading 27 books feels like not enough

like I had not read enough for a day


I love books

Monday, November 21, 2016

I love country

I do

I really do


I love how they pronounce words

feels so soft

is it the Southern way of speaking?

Who writes music for her?

she definitely needs to think about changing those writers

I am whining old lady today

I miss old Britney

but since I am trying to focus on the good things lately

just loooooooooook at heeeeer eeeeendless leeeeeegs


as for the songs


we will always have Circus if we want to listen to a good pop song

music videos is just not her thing :)

awesome song

"My husband does not like when I go out with you"

"because he thinks you look inappropriate"




I am so sorry

that you are the prisoner of your husband and he dictates who you can be friends with

I don't know

I don't understand what happened to a lot of the girls I know

marriage changes things


we were never close friends, but you have to have some common sense

that was the first time I had been baned from somebody


like, come oooon

I still don't think I look inappropriate

my dresses are short, but not thaaaaaaaat short, they cover everything that needs to be covered

and it is almost winter

my winter dresses are long

just because I prefer eco leather does not make a whore out of me

if your husband forbids you wearing dresses, I am sorry, but it is your husband's problems, not yours

but if you agree not to wear dresses, because your husband thinks you look inappropriate, well, darling, you need to do something with that

I am the whore friend




like grow up, already

people with their insecurities pushing them on other people


Sunday, November 20, 2016

Be the wolf

that's a good plan, is not it?


I'm talking about the band I discovered today

I listened to their latest album Rogue and to my surprise I liked it a lot


they are not very popular

so I had not found the videos on the songs that I liked

but if you liked Phenomenons, you probably would enjoy the rest of the album as well

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Not all fat people eat a lot

one of my friends gained a lot of weight

in her opinion

I think she looks great, not all people should be skinny

but she said that according to BMI she is officially overweight

and that is not good for your health

I asked what she eats

she told me what, how much and how often


comparing with what I eat, she must be 20kg total


she eats super healthy

I eat all forbidden products



junk food

all the products that make you fat

works fine with my metabolism


she thinks her problem is with hormones, but she got checked once, and everything was okay

that is weird

because she also goes to gym twice a week

I no longer think that fat people always eat a lot (like they show in The biggest looser)


sometimes something just does not work inside your body

no matter how hard you try

you just gain more weight

and that is sad :(

I told her the only thing I do, that probably helps me keeping my weight under the control no matter what I eat



not necessarily only water

I drink all non alcoholic drinks :)

the only drink, that I don't like is Coca Cola

the normal one

with gazillion of sugar

it just tastes bad in my opinion

but don't judge fat people

not all of them eat like insane

Friday, November 18, 2016

You wanted big hair?

you got them


for the last couple of months I was wearing my hair straight only

therefore I used shampoos and other hair care products to help straightening them

yesterday I used a new shampoo

on the package I read "straightening"

in fact it was "strengthening"

my mistake only

Dr Konopka's shampoo (that's an Estonian brand, btw, somehow popular in Russia)

now today I woke up and when I was passing by the big mirror I stopped and my jaw dropped


a loooooooot of it

like a big cloud of hair

wavy of course

if you are Russian, then you will recognize this character :)

that's me before Dr Konopka's

and that's me after:

one wash

one was was enough to wash away all of the straightening products, that I was so carefully putting inside my hair

guess what's my favorite brand now?

Dr Konopka's!


if it can add sooooo much volume to my almost non existent hair

then imagine what if other products work as well


they do have special Volume shampoo

I can't imagine how much volume would that thing add more:)

costs around 2-4 EUR



gonna try them all

and apparently I am back to curly hair :)

Thursday, November 17, 2016

I love weird music videos

this is one of them:

like waaaaaat


deep meaning in the video, though


I'm going back

to Finland

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Yes, you can have the part of my heart



The Beast is not ugly!

I had not really understood what was that hype all about

too ugly

too scary

it seems to me I have different world perspective

I thought "he is not even ugly" and then I read the comments

I find him pretty cute

charming :)

what scared me a lot: for a second, I thought it was Stewart from Twilight and not Emma

now that is a scary sign for a movie :)

people writing that movie will not be allowed for kids, because The Beast is that ugly


we were born in the times

dark times


when they did not really bothered with thinking what can bring nightmares to the kids

just look at this:

but that monster at least had sad face

now lets put it into hardcore mode

the pictures from the movies for the kids

sleep tight, my friends

that bear like thing still scares the shit out of me

do you still think The Beast is too scary? :)

That wonderful time of the year

When you go out with the straight hair

and come back with the curly mess

Oh, humidity, my old friend


Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Descendants of the Sun

consider me being a fan girl now


I've said it


I love Korean TV-shows

they are sooooooooooooooo sweet and pure



interesting as well


sooooooooooooooo sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

Monday, November 14, 2016


why had not I thought about that before???

I always wanted to open my own bookstore, so why not to use my time wisely and not apply for a job in a bookstore to see the insides of that business?

that would be learning while getting some money

and I read a looooot

I can tell you a lot about different books

that's like my specialty

today I sent a request to my old surveying job asking if they are still keeping a place for me

somewhere deep down I hope that they don't

I love my job

I love my colleagues

I kinda like the salary

I like calling myself engineer

but if books are my passion

why not to start from the bottom?

let's play the destiny game

and see what they answer tomorrow :)

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Places I want to visit

I need to make a list

I had that list before

with Iceland, Ireland and couple more

now I want to add one specific place

The Bridge

read it as THA bridge


I don't know who I am

I just don't

what would you answer?

Who are you?

answer without hesitation

I can't

I can't say "I am human", because I am still having doubts about the reality

I can't say "I am woman", because I don't fit in a "woman" term in the giving standards

I can't say "I am engineer", because even though according to papers I am engineer, I don't feel like it

I can't say "I am just a good person", because I am no good

and so on and so on

I can't put myself into one certain word

Who am I?

Friday, November 11, 2016

I was sure it was my job

since it worked out with Chevelle, I am trying with the job :)

I still had not done anything to find one

but is not it the perfect sign to start that process?


Just when I was thinking about Chevelle

guess who made a new video?


their last official music video is already 4 years old :)


Doctor Strange



it is probably the only movie about superhero that I truly love now

there were awkward moments in the movie theater though

that awkward moment

when you are the only one laughing


I was that laughing one

I looooooooooved the movie

loooooooooooooooooooved the jokes

loooooooooved the character (and daaaaaym, Benedict looks super hot with his hobo beard)

the only thing that was missing for me was the depth of the story

there had not gone deep enough into the story

but that it understandable, the movie has time limits

and that scene with the car crush should be an official educational material on "why you should drive accurately"

if you have a chance, I recommend you going to the cinema and watching that movie in 3D

it is worth it

Thursday, November 10, 2016

My guilty pleasure

when I am feeling a little bit down and insecure I am always watching this video

it's another beautiful day to be Rogelio, wake up Rogelio, wake up Rogelio


I love his character in the show :)

I was sure it was Chevelle

but I was wrong

old  good Jimmy Eat World


apparently they are still singing :)

and they are doing it pretty good


Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I'm glad

that Trump won

I really am


congratulations, America

hopefully you will focus on your own problems now (like with the hideous health system that you have), rather than playing the role of Universal Judge

and I hope Donald will explain, that Russia is not THE EVIL you think it is now


*but seriously, could not you vote for somebody else? the third one?

Look who has a new song!!!!!


and they have a new album as well

Dropkick Murphys' "Blood" from the album "11 SHORT STORIES OF PAIN and GLORY" out worldwide January 6, 2017

What they don't have is a concert in Finland or Estonia

and since they updated their tour dates the only window left is between 11.02 (when they have a show in Greece) and 21.02 (when they start their tour in America)

now I am trying to be an optimist

but common sense tells me: not this time


All of my close friends

are happen to be smart people

today I got to the company of people I don't know

and must I say

I had never thought people can actually think and talk like that

I was like a black sheep

they are not bad people

they are all wonderful people

but with very limited knowledge

they believe everything they hear on TV

their biggest happiness depends on the amount of likes

it scares me sometimes

I had never understand why people think that I am smart

I do not think, that I am

the knowledge that I have now is far from the base knowledge I want to have

I know that I know almost nothing

and it kills me inside

because I still fail in finding the purpose of life

completely pointless

I am jealous of those people

don't doubt anything and be happy for the likes you get

can our life be simple as that?

I don't know

I don't want to believe that

I need to talk more to the people outside my friend circle to gather and analyze that information

No, it is not

my search for the perfect toothpaste continues

after couple of times my teeth decided that Natura Siberica is just not strong enough

so I tried going in another direction

and bought a toothpaste with activated carbon microparticles (that super weird word combination I took straight from the package)

being part Russian who I am, I always believed in carbon miracles

that thing is just for every major problem with stomach (food poisoning)

so because it is so antibacterial I bought a toothpaste with it

this one

I used it three times

and now it is resting in the wasteland


there is absolutely nothing micro in those microparticles

when you brush your teeth you feel them in your mouth

and everytime that "micro" particle gets between your teeth for a second you think "was it my tooth???"

it is like the perfect toothpaste if you want to test your calmness


I had a period in my life, when my teeth were crushing

like almost falling apart piece by piece

and that "micro" particle thing takes me back to that time

I am sorry

but no


not for me

back to Siberica

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

I still think that Marilyn Manson has the best dance music

it is extremely hard to listen to his songs without dancing

it captivates your body

What was the weirdest thing

that you had ever purchased?

in the never ending circle of my thoughts I caught this one today:

where do stone breakers get their stones?

you know, those taekwondo guys and girls who break concrete blocks

they are much bigger than regular concrete (and other breaking materials) tiles

but much much smaller than concrete wall

do they place a special order in warehouse?

"- Good day, I want to order 25 concrete bricks, but not the regular size, but *specific breakable sizes
- Sure, for what purpose do you need it?
- Oh, I am just gonna break them "

that's how I see that talk in my head

I dunno


have you ever tried breaking a stone?

or a wooden plate?

that must be interesting thing to do

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Someday I will understand

how my mind picks the music it likes

but as for now

my new old favorite

Busta Rhymes - Holla


You are a very friendly family


thaaank yooooou


my sister and her son have birthdays at the same day, so they invited parents of her husband to celebrate with us

we first saw them at my sister's wedding :)

then, when her son turned one



we see them once a year

and they always tell us, that we are a wonderful family

or like they said "caring"

we are not one of those families who are with each other every single day telling every single thing

we are more like "I tell one, she tells another and in a day everybody know everything"


I have two sisters and I niece whom I am taking as my sister as well

and three nephews

 if you see us on the street you would never guess, that we are all blood related :)

we are different

but in the bad and in the good times we somehow transform into something big and solid

we are like transformers :)

when my mom was at the hospital I was the one sharing information with the others

because my mother called me furious telling me to call everybody and ask them not to call her anymore

because she could not been able to talk to the doctor without declining calls :)

we can annoy the shit out of people :)

and we annoy the shit out of ourselves as well

my mom always laughs when she hears how I talk with my niece

we are practicing humiliating a person without the use of curse words :)))

or telling compliments in a tone that suggests it is a sarcastic joke

and we do it weeeeell

but in the end we all know those are just jokes

we have the blood

and its ties are the strongest :)

I don't even remember when was the last time we had a fight

we have misunderstandings

but never in my adult life had I screamed at any of my family members

I love you all :)

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Too late

I am not a big fan of sad songs

but this song is worth listening to

Antimatter - Too Late

interestingly vibrating voice

10 freaking 0!!!

I am pretty sure Montreal fans were sitting with their jaws dropped when they saw what my boys did to their team


no hard feelings, Canadiens

but your goalie Montoya needs all the support he can get now, so don't blame him too much





if you are not familiar with hockey world, I will explain how much of a surprise was this outstanding win

you see

in the scoring board Canadiens are number one

that means, as for right now, they are THE BEST TEAM in the league


we have a reputation of "your yard team"

meaning: we stay in the league only because we have Bob


teeeeeeeeeeen freaking 0


and we don't have one player who scored all of the goals


team work at its finest


I'm sorry, Montreal

but it was our night


Friday, November 4, 2016

I got the papers!

I am officially "person with limited work ability" for two more years


I am only 50% of healthy person

half good

but what confused me a lot is that I usually get that status for 5 years

now I got only for 2

and they usually do that when they have "reasonable expectations for health condition to worsen"


I am gonna live longer than all of you combined


ignoring the papers :)

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Don't you ever think I forgot about them!

For those about to rock




oh, my dear Columbus Blue Jackets

we failed the beginning of the season

and that means we will end it with power:)

it just happens so


when we win first games we lose the last ones

and we lost a lot of games in the beginning of this season

but now we are pretty solid in the middle of the standings charts



and they are still hugging :)

our Cap and Goalie


Foligno and Bobrovsky

and that's a good sign:)

that was the official explanation, but we all know what video we love the most

this one:

I love waking up to Instagram notification seeing that my team won


in Bob we trust?


It is time to look for a job

my mom has been stable for almost two weeks and she looks healthy as well

I think I can go working now

and I am seeing white vans everywhere today


I still did not get the papers that confirm my illness

but I don't think they will send me to another doctors

so pretty much I am ready to work

just need to find one :)

or go to the old one?

I know I posted this song yesterday

but I am singing it in my head the whole day today


here it once again

Brett Eldredge - Wanna Be That Song

I wanna be that soooong

Is it the perfect toothpaste?

I am a big fan of Natura Siberica brand

mostly because of the name :)

Siberian blood, I have it :)

anyways, we have an official Natura Siberica shop now (in Viru Keskus, my dear Estonian friends)

I am a big fan of my teeth as well

I am constantly looking for that The One toothpaste

today I tried the new one

and, for real, I had tears in my eyes

not because I am sentimental

but because that toothpaste is so strong, that it makes your weak eyes cry

badass toothpaste



it has badass name as well

Arctic protection

and I think it deserves a round of applause for writing : helps to keep your teeth clean

not like those "keeps your teeth clean"


the truth

it helps, but if you do nothing to keep your teeth healthy, then it definitely won't help

a little piece of truth is always good to have in the sea of advertisement lies


You know you have a certain reputation

when you get more congratulations with the first snow than congratulations with your 30th birthday


we had first snow a week ago and it was pretty decent snow, which, sadly, melted by the evening

I woke up and after seeing the amount of unread messages on my phone for a second I though wait, is it the end of the world?


just first snow of the season

I can't even say, first snow in winter, because it is autumn


I like that people think of me, when they see snow

it is like I am in your brain


the snow master


today it snowed again, but this time it was cold as well, therefore, the snow is still outside and it has no intention to disappear

November had just begun, but we already have snow



Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Sometimes I seriously doubt my English language skills

for example

this song

Desiigner - Tiimmy Turner

sometimes I watch some "Billboard hot 100 this week" kind of videos, to stay in touch with the music

one song caught my attention



I had not understood a single word in that song

except for "Timmy Turner"

I supposed it was English




I had to look up for lyrics video to make sure

that did not really help


I understood the words

did not get the meaning of the song, though


and when I tried to read them while he was singing I still could not understand what he was singing :)

rap music can be so interesting :)

Wanna be that song

country'ish songs are my favorite genre when I want to smile

for some yet unexplained reason I am always smiling when I listen to them


I wanna be that soooong

they bring some comfort and sunshine to my soul


simple things

Things, things, things

I am still having my massive cleaning session

and I am still throwing things away

to my surprise I threw away all of the things the man I thought I loved ever gave me

apparently they all either bring back bad memories or bring back no memories at all

threw away all of the letters we wrote to each other with my girls

all of the music bands posters

all of the tickets


not all

I still left couple of important ones, those that bring good memories

like some of Blues tickets (when I had something special at that game or after), one of Rise Against tickets (the Estonian one, when I first saw them live) and obviously Frank Turner ticket (from which you can barely read Frank Turner, because I had a dress with no pockets and had to put it inside my bra, and well, when I am at a concert, I am at the concert, fully drained after, you can use that ticket, in case you need my DNA sample)

you know what surprised me the most?


pictures, that I used to hate

now I put them in one wooden box and each picture takes me back to that exact moment

and it feels so good :)

even when you look like crap on that picture, you remember all of the good things from that moment :)

I need to take more pictures with my family and friends

most of the material things won't bring you good memories after 10 years

photos will always do that :)

My mom is officially healthy


not like absolutely healthy, she still has diabetes, high blood pressure and weak heart


tumor free!!!


she had not bled

her tumor was removed and now her neck looks like a neck of a normal person

and she got an appointment to manicure master

and she walks like a young woman

today I saw her from the distance and was surprised how free she walks

I need to learn that walk :)

and she started planning her summer

she no longer has intentions to die

and it feels goooooooooood


Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Wanna know the easy way to lose some weight?

stop eating products with palm oil in it

I lost some weight again :(

In the past year I gained 3 (THREE!!!) kg and reached 59,5kg and I finally had some decent boobies

and I had some other soft places on my body

I am back to 57 again

hello, bones

oh well

I am telling myself that "at least I look good in tight dresses"

missing the boobies :(

soooo soooooft

I don't want to eat some weight gaining supplements, because I don't trust those things


wanna lose weight: stop eating palm oil crap