Thursday, March 31, 2016

The same, but different

I had that meme in my head, when I started reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in english

I once tried to read it in russian and I had not understood why people love that book so much

but couple of weeks ago I bought the english version and all I could think about was:

it is the same book

but it feels completely different

I started reading that book at home and ended up reading it in the bus on the way to work


that is the first book I read at the public transport

aaaaand just to show how good the book is, look how big it is to carry every day:

I laugh out loud when I read it in the bus

and I am not ashamed of it at all:)

if you want to have a good time, I would recommend you reading that book

it is a truly awesome book

and you will know the answer to life, universe and everything :)

Wednesday, March 30, 2016


when we were meeting with my girls (all with high education) one of them got a book for kids with animal voices

you know, those ones, when you push a button, and hear what voice does that animal have and look at the picture

one of the kids was pushing those buttons and when she bushed the Fox button my friend was surprised, that foxes make noises very similar to dogs

and I was surprised, that it was a surprise for her:)

I asked, did she know, that foxes belong to the same biological family as domestic dogs and she said, she had no idea, and how the hell did I know about that

then she called the other girl and asked her

she did not know either

therefore I decided to make sure all of you know about dogs and foxes

they belong to the same biological family which is Canidae :)

and to blow your mind, that family also includes wolves :)

another useless fact that you know now :)

Monday, March 28, 2016

I love this girl for that song

I am smiling like an idiot each time I hear this song:

that's the girl with the right attitude :)

I never understood why people take acids

my co-workers train a lot


because they are taking supplements like amino acids

which is a big mystery for me

I am a lazy person

I have a good body without going to gym, because I am listening to my body and I understand what I need to eat and in what amount

I do have weak hands, but I am perfectly fine with that

because I have really strong legs :))

therefore I do not understand why people like to wear out their bodies so much

I just can not put it in my head, why the hell would you voluntarily kill your body

I have one simple opinion: if you can't do sports without supplements - you are doing too much sports

I believe that reconstructing your body should take a lot of time and effort

you can't be 50kg thin boy today and 100kg bull in a month

you should build your body in tiny steps

1kg of weights today, 1,1kg in couple of days and so on, you must give your body time for it to reorganize its needs without external help

you should now break your old cells and pump your body up with acids and other supplements

if speaking the complete truth, I do believe gyms are like some sort of addiction

if you are a weak man, maaaaaaay be, juuuust maaaaaay be, you should do more manly things in your everyday life :)

I always felt a little bit weird, when some boy tells me: I go to gym every day


does it mean you have artificial body then?

you will stay fit as long as you go to the gym and take supplements

but what happens when you stop doing that?

have you seen retired weightlifters?

they don't really look healthy at all

so you are basically signing a contract with devil - trading your time and health for a chance to look fit

stop giving your time and recession will happen pretty fast

when you need to use acids, steroids or any other chemical help is it not the way your body tries to tell you it is not yet strong enough to do as much sports activities as you are forcing it to do?

lets put it this way: you had cut a finger with a knife, what would you do? you take the knife away and start healing your finger, next time, knowing how your body reacted you either try to cut it less deep or find a way not to cut it anymore. what would it look like if you take acids? you cut a finger, you are bleeding, but you take a knife and continue cutting your fingers, because magic acid will stop the bleeding and you won't really feel the pain, but you will still have your finger cut hundreds of times. now lets assume you finally are smart enough not to cut your finger anymore, and you stop taking supplements, what happens to your finger? you probably lose it, because it is just a mess of cut skin, zero blood and dead muscles

I am exaggerating, but you got my point :)

there is nothing wrong with sports when you are trying to lose some weight or keep your body toned, but when you need chemical help, may be, juuuuust may be, you are doing something wrong with your body

stay fit!

stay strong!

stay the hell out of chemical help!


Sunday, March 27, 2016

I look less like a squirrel, more like a human now

which is goooood

woke up in bloody blanket

bloody blanket sounds like a good curse word: what the bloody blanket happened here???

but I had regular blanket with my blood, because apparently my wound decided I have too much blood in my body, so it kinda gave away the excessive one while I was sleeping:)


but now everything is almost okay, I still can't properly open my mouth and my mother understands only half of what I am saying

but hey

it is better than was yesterday :)

still hoping to get my eyes back, though

Corporate Avenger

Corporate Avenger is my new favorite music to dance to and to think about

found my hidden love to industrial music

and despite their weird looks, they are singing about very serious things (they are native americans)

I did not know about that, when thanks to radio Ultra I head their most famous song Fault the police (I don't)

We have created a reality based on fear where a terrorist, a gangster or a police can take away your freedom or your sense of security at any time
then I heard 20$ Bill and realized they are Native Americans and they do sing about serious things that Americans tend to ignore

just listen to this song:

If Hitler was on the 20 dollar bill,
How would the Jews feel?
 they have a point

a really serious point

who is on 20$ bill?

Andrew Jackson

who was responsible for Indian removal policy

which is basically the old school version of relationship between Hitler and the jews

now imagine Europeans having Hitler on their banknotes or Russians having Stalin on theirs


how impossibly wrong would that be?

but it is okay in America to ignore the feelings of Indian people

the NATIVE American people

Corporate Avenger have a lot of good songs, that Christian and Muslim or any other religious people will be mad about

I love them

and I think they sung the truth people don't want to accept

it is sad, they they do not write music anymore

We are the victims with the laws they've made. They'll take your freedom, and then your home. They'll take it all, 'til you're all alone. Break up a family for a fee. I can't remember when I was free. Free to worship, free to speak.
I am not gonna post another songs here, but already from the songs titles you may want to download their albums and carefully listen to them

Christians Murdered Indians, Taxes Are Stealing, The Bible Is Bullshit, Voting Doesn't Work, Jesus Christ Homosexual

all those songs are form the album Freedom is a state of mind

like come oooon

it is like listening to my own thoughts:
Not saying God is gay,
Not saying that at all.
But if Jesus Christ was God and God created all.
Then Jesus Christ created the homosexual.
There might be a little fag in us all.
Not saying that it's good,
Not saying that it's right,
But could the Virgin Mary have been a hermaphrodite?
She was with a child without having a man?
And that's not the only thing that I don't understand.

I wonder how did they even managed to publish that CD :)

Thank you for your music and lyrics!

Saturday, March 26, 2016

I lost my tooth and I am loosing my eyesight


bad things happened today:)

I was enjoying the wonderful taste of raspberry jam, when I heard the sound of cracking tooth and felt intense pain

it hurt bad

extremely baaaaaad

I needed to go to dentist first aid clinic to get help

waited two hours and had my tooth extracted (I was planning to remove it soon anyways, because it was that little wisdom tooth bastard)

but I notice, that after removing it my eyesight dropped significantly

I really hope it is just a temporary reaction to intense pain

because becoming blind was not on my to-do list

so yeah, right now I look like a blind squirrel with one cheek twice its regular size and my eyes seeing two times worse

I have no time to deal with my eyes now, because on Monday I have my secondary driving school lesson that I need to make if I want to keep my license

I have no time for emergency eye surgery

so I am going to think about that on Monday evening after driving like a blind squirrel hoping to pass


therefore, my dear eyes, you have time until Monday to become normal again

and I am going to panic on Tuesday, if you are not

having "panicking" planned makes your life more calm


I think I am gonna be a good mother

yesterday we had a meeting with my girls with their kids and to my complete surprise their kids did not annoy the hell out of me

I knooooooow



I found it interesting to listen to what kids say and how they play

like little humans who are yet to learn how to lie


there is a huge white shark in the corner of the room

hell yes there is and I have to protect the bear from it


after all, even the healthiest parents get really ill children and 7% chance is not such a high number to beat

one day I am gonna have my own kids

and I am gonna have them healthy, because if I protected the bear from the shark I can have healthy kids!


but I still think the bast place to meet up with friends is neutral territory such as bars, because I don't feel comfortable invading personal space and I definitely don't want them to invade mine


Was he my destiny?

I hope not

in my last two days in Finland I run twice to one black man

in different time, in different place


first I met him on the train and he tried to introduce himself to me, but me, being all that racist judgmental bitch that I am, pretended, that I do not understand what he was talking about

the next day I met him on a tram stop and when I noticed him the only thing I could think of was "oh, hell nooo" and then he noticed me and run towards me with the words "HEY, I SAW YOU YESTERDAY!!!"

being all that happy


but my racist nature had not changed much since yesterday, so I tried to nicely ignore him, but failed in doing that, so I had to talk to him

when he left, he shook my hand


like oookay

that was unexpected, but kinda nice gesture

I'm still hoping to find my white man who will be as excited to see me, as that black man was:)

Prokofiev Symphony no. 1 op. 25 "Classical"

some music makes me smile

I do not understand people who say, that Classical music is boring and sad

it is not

I am not a big fan of classics, because the same symphony can be played differently, based on who is the conductor

but it is hard to make Symphony no. 1 op. 25 "Classical". Allegro sound bad


it is just filled with joy for me

wanna go to musical theater with me?

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Intro songs are important

started watching Bosch series

watched first episode, thought, well, okay show, maybe will continue it someday

maybe not

in a couple of days found myself singing one song I had no idea where that came to my mind

after desperately trying to remember from where I know it I realize it is Bosch's intro song

and should I say, that I already watched the first season and started the second one? :)

that should be a rule

series with a good intro song can not be bad


love the story too, aaaaand he killed him, aaaaaaaaaaand he killed her, aaaaaaaaaand he is gay, aaaaaaaaaand apparently he is not, or is he?


and all of that :)

that is the opening:

and here is the full song:

looooooooooooooooooooove it so much, that I put it on repeat on my playlist which consists of that only song :)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I still sing it all the time :)

especially this part:

I got a name for each one of my headaches

aaaaaaaand the line I love with all of my heart:

What do you know about the thin line to madness?
I am still afraid, that one day I will be completely mad :)

like my niece once told me: "You have that look sometimes, that you sit motionless and look into eyes and I can't understand would you be mad at me, or would you be laughing with me, that sociopathy'ish look"

well thank you, I guess :)))


I strongly recommend you watching Bosch series

I don't want to post here an official trailer for the first season, because it includes a huuuuuuuuge spoiler (who the hell approved that trailer???) so here is a super bad teaser trailer with no spoilers in it

Monday, March 21, 2016

Sun’s Magnetic Field



This magnetic map was created using the PFSS – Potential Field Source Surface – model, a model of the magnetic field in the sun’s atmosphere based on magnetic measurements of the solar surface. The underlying image was taken in extreme ultraviolet wavelengths of 171 angstroms. This type of light is invisible to our eyes, but is colorized here in gold.

My way of getting healthy

pills are like candies for me: they don' really make sense


during the years I developed my own way of getting healthy after getting ill

flu and other similar illnesses

it is not approved by anybody with common sense

but it works perfectly fine for me

I have 2 tricks

the first one is the most important: the moment you feel, that something is wrong with your throat you eat an ice cream

just one single ice cream

but you have to eat the same day you started feeling a little bit ill

I call it: that girl is so insane we are not going to stay in her body - Viruses :)

if you eat it the next day it won't help

I did it I don't know how many times this winter and I had not been ill :)

until last week

when I missed that first day and was broken the next day

cough, fever and other nice things :)

got it all

slept whole day after work, waking up only to take some food

sleeping did not help

so I decided to wash it all off

on Saturday and Sunday I had drunk such an amount of liquids that it is probably not healthy at all

any kind of cold liquid

yesterday I had drunk 1,5l of cold Cola Zero, 1l of cold milk, 3 bottles of cold yoghurt, 1 bottle of lemon juice and 1l of some mineral water that I found in the cupboard :) I was drinking everything I could find and those were only liquid liquids, add some fruits and other food as well


no pills were taken

and today I only have running nose (but I always have it, so it does not matter as much)

in my case, shocking therapy works :)

I would not recommend it, if you have bad tolerance towards cold and weak kidneys

but for me it works :)

you just have to make sure, the toilet room is not far away

like d'ooooh


Thursday, March 17, 2016

I have been to Finnish metal band midnight concert

and I did not like it

the band was great

with the exception of them forgetting words of couple of songs (which is weird)

but they sound outstanding live

and that mighty voice


what I did not like was the public

it was my first finnish band concert and I was shocked when I saw how people behave

drinking is okay and I have nothing against it

drinking in the crowd is weeeeeeell ooookaaaaaaay, but not like okay-okay



when you drink and you smash your glass into the floor where crowd is, that is definitely not okay

and I saw it multiply times

some of people just put it down to the floor, like if it was some plastic cup (of course it won't stay there)

some people throw it to see how it breaks (I thought beer glasses in bars where music shows happen have to be unbreakable, but it seems I was wrong)

and how the hell would you dance and jump, when there is a glass carpet under your feet???

so I pretty much was motionless all the time

which is weird, because I am the jumper when I like the music:)

trapped in the glass floor


like if I was Superman next to Kryptonite


love the band, though

Kotiteollisuus (which is a normal length for a Finnish word with not so much doubled letters in it)

I had no intentions to go there, but on one Friday I woke up with a song, that I heard on the radio couple of weeks ago:

it was on my mind the whole morning, so I though: OKAY, to get rid off it I need to check do they perform in Helsinki soon

imagine my surprise, when I checked and saw, that their only show in Helsinki will be the next day :)

I thought I need to buy the ticket, because my destiny wants me to be there :)

and so I did

and so I went

and so I was disappointed

but at least I can say I like the band

especially the song I had waited the whole night (the beginning of the show was at midnight) but it never came

you see

I am a good student

before going to any performance of the band I barely know, I always check the setlist of the last 5 or more shows, to be aware what songs may be presented (I don't need to do that with Rise Against:))

anyways, listened to songs, kinda liked them, some of them I loved, but waited for one song, and was extremely sad, when I had not heard it


looooooooooooooooooooooooove it

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikun kun olisin uniiii tai yööö

Tämä jäääääääätäääääääväääää taaaaaaaaaaaalvi

ikuisesti häääääääntääänsä syyyyyyö

loved this word: häntäänsä :) if I had not knew Estonian it would be impossible for me to say that word out loud :)


Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Some songs make me smile like an idiot


Violent Femmes - Issues is one of them

just look at their CD cover :)

I laughed before I even listened to it

like coooome oooon:)

For those of you, who think they are young boys

they are not

the band is probably older than you :)

it was founded in 1980

and band members are around 50 years old


still love it

even though I am among the first one to criticize older people who still sing kinda teen songs

but their We can do anything album proves that they really can do anything :)

Monday, March 14, 2016

The best wedding I've been to

was the wedding of one of my best friends last Saturday


I promised her not to discuss her wedding



come oooooon

when they play the songs we jokingly chose years ago


that is one hell of a good wedding

you know, that friends have some inner jokes, that outside people do not really understand, with my friend we always sung two songs, which are weird :) and definitely not wedding songs

those are the songs:

and she played those songs on her beautiful wedding


I laughed a looooot

the people sitting with me were questioning who the hell would order those songs and they did not understand why would I do that :)


it was an awesome wedding

very elegant and simple

izdalekaaaaaa doooooooolgo, techet rekaaaaa Vooooooooolgaaaaaaaa


PS. when she asked what name should she write in table arrangements paper I joked that she can use the name my mom often calls me: Porfiry Ivanov (if you are not Russian, then you probably need some information about who that man was here it is ) and she diiiiiiiiiiiiiiid, I have no idea, what people thought, when instead of some old man there was a lady in red


Should I stay or should I go?

that is the only question I have in my head right now

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Until death do us part

I cried when I was at our last home game

definitely last this season

but most likely the last home game ever, since we have financial difficulties

we are the worst team in the league

all top players left it

but we still won the game :)

and we played like gods



I had not been to our games for two months, because I was so mad, that players leave the team so easily

even my Hypnobeard left

but then, suddenly, I realized I do not really care who is playing, I am enjoying the game itself and the public

I am enjoying the fact, that I belong to a Finnish family

Blue-yellow-white family of Espoo Blues

we are the best people out there :)

and we will stay with the team until death do us part, no matter if each player will run away like a rat

we stay

and we support


Thank you, all the current players of Espoo Blues for not leaving the team in the hardest time

it was a difficult season

and it may be our last season ever

but even if it is

our last home win will stay in the memory as one of our best games

and we don't need those HirsoBitch and Cutie pie (who is currently playing in the SECOND HOCKEY LEAGUE, apparently he wanted to only get money) and Siim The Rat and all the other who run away

thank you for your time

but now we have a team of young players, who battle for each puck, not each euro

and we are the best

even if the statistics say the opposite

Thank you, Espoo Blues!

hope to see you next season

hope to see fans next season

if we survive, we rise like a phoenix and we burn every team down


Tää on Espoo


P.S. I do think that song must be our official team song :) how awesome would it be to hear "Tää on Espoo" each time we score :)

P.P.S. I do think you should hire me, because statistics do not lie, we won every game I was visiting :) I can be you lucky charm


is the exact amount of Happy Women's Day congratulations I got from men:)

welcome to Finland, the country where men are so afraid of women, that they don't even try anymore

Thank you, The Good Pirate for saving my day:) the only man who risked and congratulated me :)

risked with being sued, because I think it is the only reason that you can use "I did not congratulate you, because I thought you are feminist and will think it is sexist and sue me for congratulating you"


I was disappointed, I do not even talk about flowers

finnish men probably don't know where flowers are sold

but simple "Happy Women's Day, Jana!!!" would be perfectly enough

even as a text message

but no

I work in big company with very few girls

none of my male colleagues congratulated me


I asked my work partner and he said "for me it is just another pointless celebration day made by companies to take your money"


lets take it to the next level

your birthday is not worth celebrating, because you did nothing to come to this world and people should congratulate only your parents

Christmas is not worth celebrating, because you do not even know that guy

and so on


nothing is worth celebrating

especially in Finland

in Russia and Estonia Women's Day is one hell of a day, when women swim in attention, kindness and flowers

and I think it is a right thing to do

and you can put your "what you have between your legs do not define you" up into your ass

if you are ashamed of being a woman, then it is your problem and you can stay the gender neutral creature who you want to be

but I am a woman

and I am not ashamed of it

I want to be congratulated on Women's day and I want to get flowers

I was extremely disappointed :(

but well

at least one man has balls enough to congratulate :)

Thank you!

I think Sweden and Finland will be first countries with gender neutral society, where every mention of "man" and "woman" will be qualified as using the n-word

what are you so afraid of? that I do not understand

Thank you, Russian and Estonian men for being such "sexist pigs" who give us so much pleasure :)

Thank you, Russian and Estonian women for wearing skirts and dresses, building home nests and having a career at the same time, without wasting time on "OMG, you can nooooooooot call me woman now"

We rock!

and once again: Thank you, The Good Pirate for making me smile that sad day :)

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Disturbing video, awesome song

Mudvayne - Dull Boy

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

It is that time of the year again

my guilty pleasure

Eurovision time!


first there are national competitions

then in May the main competition

couple of days ago Estonia chose their song and I looooooooooooooove it

love it love it looooove it

I do not agree with people who say "it is too boring, too simple, too plain"


I love it

and I listen to it non stop now:))

Jüri Pootsmann - Play

when I first heard his voice without watching the video I though well, thaaaaat is a strong voice for a middle age man

imagine my surprise, when I saw how young he is:)

I love live version much more, than the recorded one

his voice is outstanding

his personal style is well thought and elegant

and the song is very kind

I like his mimics

to me, he reminds me Moriarty in Sherlock

such a lovely evil genius


he does need electro crap music and half naked girls dancing around him

even if he does not qualify for Final,  I am glad, that he won our national contest


well deserved win

whaaaaat a vooooice

Friday, March 4, 2016


because why the hell not


I know, that a lot of men do not understand why do we love Benedict so much, because obviously he is not a macho man

and that is kinda sad, that men do not understand, that smart women will always prefer gentleman behaviour over pack of muscles, with Cumberbatch you can be sure you will be treated like lady and will be swimming in just enough attention

he won't be calling you at midnight after being missing for weeks only because you are his booty call

he won't be calling you every 5 minutes being jealous all the time, because he is confident enough in himself

he won't be cursing at you, because he is just too cool for it

Benedict is the example of old school gentleman behaviour and you can be sure, he won't hurt you and he will be always there for you when you need him

and that is why women will always love him

even though he is far from typical beauty :)

Thursday, March 3, 2016

I have a new Internet crush

sooooorry, Charlie Hunnam

meet Conor McGregor


Wednesday, March 2, 2016

I feel bad for DiCaprio


he FINALLY won an Oscar

does not it sound like some sort of underestimation?

imagine yourself passing some test

you failed once

failed twice

and failed couple of times more

and then you FINALLY did it

you will probably feel not proud of the work you've done, but rather relief

you've finally made it

I do not think it is a good thing

it kinda shows that you were not good enough in previous tries and maybe you finally passed that test only because teacher felt sorry for you

Dear Leonardo DiCaprio, I truly believe, that you should had won your Oscar when The Departed was filmed

you deserve your Oscar

Rocking in the Holy Land

you should thank me for a huge variety of music I provide here


expanding your music knowledge

today we meet Lazer Lloyd

who sounds live almost exactly as he sounds on the album


loooooooooooooooooooooooove it

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Ghost Ship

I always knew we have a lot of ghost ships, the ships that got lost in the ocean or whose team for some reason abandoned it

but in my mind I always thought those are little ships, more like fish boats and definitely not as big as Antonia Graza in one of my favourite movies Ghost Ship




meet Lyubov Orlova
the picture was obviously taken when her position was still known

now she is lost

sooooooooooooooooooooooomewheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere in the Atlantic Ocean believed to be next to Ireland

filled with rats

you do imagine the amount of rats that can fit into that pretty big ship, don't you?


the thing about rats are rumours, but there is still some truth in any rumour :)

The tug Charlene Hunt, owned by American tug operator Hunt Marine, was contracted to tow the ship; however, one day after leaving the dock, the tow line parted. The crew of the tugboat tried unsuccessfully to reconnect the line, hampered by 35 kilometres per hour (22 mph) winds and 3 metres (9.8 ft) waves.
long story short: they lost her


in 2013 Ireland got the distress signal from her

activated distress signal usually means, that the ship is sinking or already sunk

they tried to find her using the signal

but the searches were unsuccessful and the physical evidence, that Lyubov Orlova sunk is missing

so there is still a possibility that she is casually drifting in the Ocean :)

probably with this song from Ghost Ship playing non stop for the rats :)

and for your information Lyubov Orlova was a Russian actress

people called her Russian Marlene Dietrich

Massive attack

I should stop using "this is not my usual choice, but" line

I have no usual choice

I listen to all kinds of music


today it is time for new Massive Attack