Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Japanese horror movies

you all know them

you all watched them

and lets admit it: they scared the shit out of you

:)

the two stood out the most

let me remind you

probably the most famous Japanese movie

Ringu (aka The Ring)



and

Ju-On (aka The Grudge)



now it was obviously only a matter of time, when they make a crossover of those movies

this year they did it

Sadako vs Kayako



I watched that movie yesterday

it was an extremely confusing movie

for the first whole hour I just laughed

I laughed a looooooooooot

at some point I thought it was some parody movie, because it was such a non-sense

I had not watched the last movies in the series, so I had not understood why there was a completely different video on the tape, why Sadako's well changed its location and why from the week they went to only 2 days

and Kayako seemed, like, you know, tired :)

anyways

If to put up scores, I would score it 3/10 for the first hour of the movie

and 8/10 for the last 30 minutes

we were laughing that hour, but for the last 30 minutes we were actually watching the movie almost breathless

I choose Sadako (because at least she walks and looks good enough and politely calls you to remind you that you will die in 7 days or nowadays in two days)

my niece choose Kayako (because she was afraid of Toshio, when she was a kid)

and when you have two Japanese pale girls with long black hair it is sometimes impossible to understand who is on the screen

was it my girl, was it hers?

the last 30 minutes were intense

really intense

each one of those girls are scary enough, but when you put two of them in one location, well, you must be super stupid to do that and expect something good out of that

:)

I would not spoil the ending

I won't say who won

but if you want to see something jaw dropping then watch the last 30 minutes of that movie, ignoring that impossibly illogical first hour

:)

Team Sadakoooo!

:)

Snakes

I am still wondering why they do not tell that at school

plain information about history - you have it

tons of unnecessary definitions - you have it

interesting facts - NO

I am 30 years old

well educated

but today was the day when I leaned that Ireland has no snakes

There are NO SNAKES in Ireland

imagine the place where you can go to the forest without the need to constantly performing snake-check

:)

Ireland is that place

you are awesome, Ireland!
Animals that reached Ireland before the sea became an impassible barrier included brown bears, wild boars, and lynxes—but "snakes never made it"
add some wolves and you will have the perfect animal pack :)

Link to National Geographic article

I personally don't mind snakes

for some reasons I respect them like the spiders

but if you want to live somewhere snake-free - Ireland is your choice!

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

I miss 80-90's action movies

I do

I really really do

that masculinity

that will to die to protect somebody you love

not afraid of getting hurt

not afraid of being sued

nowadays men in the movies are so perfect

so heroic

so right

but they miss that umpf

that recklessness that 80-90 heroes have

people are so fragile now

so affected

so delicate

and they miss that gentleman behavior, that courage, that confidence that men in old (30-60's) had

I do think soon we become one gender free society

but I do not think it is right

*gone watching another old movie

Conspiracy theory

and lets stop and appreciate how hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot Mel Gibson used to be



thoooooose eyes

thaaaaaaaat vooooice

:)

Monday, December 26, 2016

My guilty pleasure

I love listening to the songs that make you wanna change something

they are so typical and predictable

but I love it

Bon Jovi - Born Again Tomorrow



Nickelback - If Today Was Your Last Day



I still don't understand why people hate Nickelback so much

only for that song all of their sins should be forgiven :)

If today was your last daaaaaay

Merry Christmas!!!

to all Christian people!

hope you celebrated it the way you imagined :)

Once you go black

you know how it ends :)

but I am not talking about people now

I am confessing that I am officially spoiled woman

who discovered her love to Chanel make up products

I bought Vitalumiere loose powder

this beauty
the consultant suggested number 20, so I bought it

when I applied it I spent eternity looking at the mirror thinking "loose powder can be sooooooo peeeeeeeeeeeerfeeeeeeect"

the mini kabuki brush is perfect for applying powder

the powder makes your skin perfectly even and smooth

and it lasts for at least 10 hours

but consultant was wrong about the shade

it is too dark for me

so I bought Rimmel Match perfection to lighten up the Chanel shade

it is good

good as mass market powder can be

but I cried deep down inside every time I applied it after Vitalumiere

it is like you put perfection to your face

and then a cement to make your face not that dark

on the way back home I bought shade 10

yes

I now have 2 Chanel powders

with the ship discounts each one of them costs 56 eur

I now have -3eur on my Finnish bank account

do I regret it?

absolutely not

worth it

the powder worth its money

and I am worth that powder :)

hopefully they don't forget to pay me my salary

:)

I need to buy a couple more presents

:)

my perfect powder is Chanel

my perfect mascara is Dior

now

how can I be more label-fan girl?

I tell you how

I love he product

not the names

Chanel mascaras are disastrous

but their loose powder is perfection

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Have you ever wanted to remove your eye and lip?

if yes, I have a solution for you!

*if you are the owner of that photo write me of you want it to be removed from here

I laughed a lot, when I saw that

my first reaction was: but...but..but I don't want to remove my lip and eye

on the other hand, I will still have my other eye and my other lip, but the removed ones will be missed terribly

:)

but all jokes aside, It's skin Mangowhite tissues are the best tissues I have ever used

and I used a looooooooot of it

:)

matt lipstick, waterproof mascaras, BB, CC, powder, tint lipsticks

tried on everything I have

the skin is clean with one tissue

highly recommend

my Korean obsession continues

:)

Monday, December 19, 2016

I am not going to lose my holiday mood

those little ugly things are temporary

I am awesome

you are awesome

holidays are coming

:)

here is something old, but probably new for you:

Now this is funny

Russian language knowledge is required

or not

:)

translation is:

I am suggesting a plan: we are going there throughout three books, but going back on eagles

Sunday, December 18, 2016

If we can't have a movie

can you at least give us the second trailer?

if this trailer were an old school record tape, it would had been already torn apart from the amounts of time I used it

:)



and as you all know, I am a big fan of nice beards

the perfect one that Charlie has in that trailer is obviously perfect one :)

as for the girls who can't stand nice facial hair

here is the trailer for Crimson Peak



now it may probably take you some time to find Charlie there, but he is there

looking just plain

and boring

and plain

and boring

and pretty much like an oversized toddler

:)

some men just look much better with the beard

Charlie is one of them

The harsh reality of modern snowmen

if you want to make a snowmen according to the new way of life


NHL still ignores Columbus Blue Jackets

my boys are shattering all of their smart ass prognoses and play like the Gods I always knew they were

:)

they write a lot about the big boys like Crosby

and barely mention that we have

EIGHT

STRAIGHT

WINS

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIGHT

STRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIGHT

WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINSSSSSSSSSSSS

:)

but I am sure they will write an enormous article about how it had not last long after we finally lose a game

and we will

because we can't win all the time

:)

it is sad, though, that because of that crap my boys are not getting the appreciation that they deserved

but hey

we don't need their cheap fame

we are awesome the way we are

and we are goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

:)

For those about to rock

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Saluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Still waiting

for the date to appear on their tour list

but at least they share their new songs

Dropkick Murphys - You'll Never Walk Alone

And I should probably feel bad

but I don't

and I know almost every song they play

on my new favourite radio station

and I laugh at almost every joke they make

on my new favourite radio station

country radio station

WDEZ

located in the place I have no idea where

Wausau

:)

link to tune in

I love it :)

their songs are just so cute and real

The art of choosing gifts

I love buying gifts

I had never had troubles with that

but I need the time to chose wisely

therefore I hate when somebody calls me last moment with the words "hey, I have a birthday party tomorrow and you are invited"

CHOOSING GIFTS REQUIRES TIME!!!

I myself create a mental picture of a person I am going to get a gift

like a projection of that person and I start putting everything I know about that person on that projection

everything I learned for the last year

everything I heard and remember about that person

then I am starting mentally applying objects to that projection

does it suit him/her?

does he/she want it?

and in the end I have a couple of options from what I chose based on my budget

I don't like when people ordering gifts

for me it is more like "if you know what you need, then just go to the freaking shop and buy that freaking thing"

but it makes life so much more easier

so I always ask if they expect something

I don't like it

but I am lazy ass :)

it is a mystery for me, why do you wait for some special date to get the thing you really need

Gifts for me are things, that you don't need, but you want, but you realize you don't want to buy them, because it would be a waste of money

but you still would wanna have it :)

I don't think food, clothes, medical things and other necessary things are a gift

no matter how much it costs

have nothing against accessories, thou

the millionth bag that you want, but you understand that you already have 999 999 other ones would make a great gift

:)

there are three things that I love, but already have way too much

books

hand creams

and lipsticks

:)

I commited a crime

I ordered a gift

because I want it

but I have dozens of others

but I want this one

because of the package

only because of it

it is haunting me

Blue Q

hoooooooooow awesome that bear is?

extremely awesome

:)

hand shit

why had not I bought it?

because I like fig, but not a big fan of jasmine

so couple of months ago I bought this one:

 because I love lilac :)

I love the package

not the cream itself

so it would be absurd to buy another one

only because of the package

see

that would make it a perfect gift for me

do I need it?

no

do I want it

hell yes :)

but it is out of stock

so not this time, not this time

anyways

invest your time in thinking about a person you are giving the gift to

sometimes I give those kind of "here is you fucking gift, just fuck off already" kind of attitude gifts

and you understand it right away

razor?

really?

:)))

Friday, December 16, 2016

Congratulations!!!!

You are going to be the best mom ever!

:)

Finland needs more white babies!

:)

I love getting to know when girls are expecting a baby

wonderful news :)

Yaaaaaaay!!!

:)

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Apathy, my old friend

something switched off my emotions

like a blank mind

me!

the super sensitive person, who cries everytime I see anything I can cry about

it is like something took the eraser and erased all of the emotions

to some extent it is good living like that

constant chill

don't care about anything

sometimes don't even bother to answer the questions

it is like "Oh, well" kind of life

Columbus is one of the best teams?

Oh, well

been in Finland for three weeks and still had not visited any hockey game?

oh, well

that man was obviously trying to introduce himself to you?

oh, well

missed a bus?

oh, well

like, nothing

NOTHING

now I am gonna say something truly awful: I DO NOT CARE ABOUT CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS AND PRESENTS

MEEEEEEEEEEE

the biggest Christmas lights admirer

I just don't give a smallest damn

nothing

just lights

nothing bringing

it is like if I used all of my emotional fuel and I did not find a source of new one

emotionally drained

I need Frank Turner :)

I guess Apathy missed me

so I will spend some time with that :)

Something is silently eating free space on your local disk?

must be Opera

I have a notebook, that I chose solely based on the sizes

my travel book

it is pretty decent, but stable

the only problem was, that it comes with 32Gb hard drive

yup

you read it right :) back to the 90's!

:)

anyways, that was enough for me, because I have The Big computer at home

this one is for watching movies :)

I won't be screaming and crying after I saw how much of a free space I actually have, when I first turned it on

preinstalled Win8 takes its bite

:)

still was enough for me

couple of days ago I realized, that I don't have music, I don't have videos, I don't have games or any heavy programs and I still only have 1Gb of free space

like wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere is my limited space?

uninstalled everything I don't need

still the same size

check my computer with antivirus and anti-malware

clean

and then I remembered that many years ago I used very simple, yet very powerful program Space Monger, that shows the space usage in simple squares

decided to find it, found it

read the reviews

and in the comments somebody suggested better and faster free program of same kind

Space Sniffer!

here is the link

it showed me my problem right away

Opera temporary files

a looooooooot of them

some with the 1Gb size

there was all of my space :)

I said it before and I say it again

Opera was destroyed the moment Google interrupted

I still use it though

it is like with the old thing

new is better, but you already got attached to the old one

after seeing that disaster I am thinking about exploring new options

are there any new stable browsers not linked to Google?

Monday, December 12, 2016

Tech n9ne

never heard?

:)

he is pretty solid

For those about to rock

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Saluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

:)

I am not saying that I was right when I was telling we are the best team

but

standings say it all

:)

Thank You!

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Spiders, spiders, spiders

for a person, who is afraid of insects I am writing about them way too often

but spiders are not insects, they belong to Arachnida class

which, technically, is not insects

:)

anyways

remember I was talking about my own army of spiders?

well

you can think what you want

but yesterday I found TWO spiders in my room

coincidence?

:)

I lived there for two months and never had any spider in my room

and just after writing that post I got two

:)

I am one of those weirdos, who respect spiders

for some reasons I just do

I did not want to sleep in the same room with them, though

so I took the paper, caught them on that paper and released them

and when I was sitting with that paper with the door opened trying to make them crawl away from that paper to the street I thought, well, I probably look weird now, releasing spiders on the cold (which probably will kill them)

so I googled it, trying to explain my actions

and hell yes, I found one

in old Russia spiders were considered to protect the home they are living against bad influence

pretty much bringing luck

aaaaaaaaaand also catching insects

it was not recommended to take the spider web off or even kill the spider

if, for some reasons, you did not want to live with the spider, you needed to release it back to the nature, without hurting it

like

genetic memory I have?

:)

spiders are awesome

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

New Mummy

looks boring

well made

but boring



or maybe it is because of Tom Cruise

I just don't like him

but I think, that it is more that The Mummy is a woman now

what is up with that lately

every relaunch of movie is with the woman main character

only Russell Crowe can save that movie

Monday, December 5, 2016

Nooooooooooooooooooo

you know something is not right, when you hear the sound of opening door and all you can think of is "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

I was sure my roomie would be gone for two more days

but he is back

still ignoring the basics of cleaning

but hey

at least he washes dishes after himself

that's good

as for my little black neighbours

I killed two yesterday and one today

need to find their nest

but how?

I would have had organized my chemical war, but I can't

BECAUSE HE SLEEPS IN THE LIVING ROOM

and my chemical attack in the kitchen will kill my roomie

who refuses to use the empty room

just

why?

I feel like a bitch

but you have to have some common sense

and when you sleep so close to the floor (he sleeps on the mattress in the living room, when he could had been sleeping in the bed in the room) at some point you have to notice those creepy insects

but apparently he is so chill

that he does not bother about it

maybe I need to take some chill lessons from him

annoys the shit out of me

I don't want to be the free cleaning lady

but I can't be living in this mess

today they are in the kitchen

tomorrow they can be in my room

I probably need to organize my own army of spiders

spiders are cool

and they will protect me from other creepy crap

whyyyyyyyyy did you come baaaaaack todaaaaaaay

He is hoooooot

Jeffrey Dean Morgan


Sunday, December 4, 2016

Do insects have a memory?

officially they don't

but something tells me they do

yesterday I had to organize the massacre of some crawling insects

you see

I live in a work apartment now

I cleaned my room and bathroom

and the fridge

and the stove (which is already dirty as hell, is it really thaaaaaaaaaaat hard to clean after yourself???)

but I can't clean the whole kitchen

because I am not leaving alone

and I don't know what I can throw away and what I can't

unless it starts decaying and rotting

then I throw it away without permission

the kitchen is dirty

it is

and the fact that you are walking in your shoes there don't help

I am talking about you

the silent smoker

anyways, yesterday while washing the dishes I saw something moving on the floor

and if you know me

you know how I react

I run away from the kitchen to my room cursing like an old pirate hoping to find something chemical to kill that thing

I found a stove cleaning spray

smelled it

felt chemical enough for me, so I used it on that thing

after it stopped crawling I took it away with endless amount of paper towels and saw another one

the same species

crawling to the murder scene

I remembered all the rest of the curse words and sprayed it too

it tried to run away

but stove spray was stronger

and when I killed it guess what happened

yup

the third one showed

and I felt like a mass murderer killing the whole family

it was baaaaaaaaaaad

for the rest of the day I was looking on the floor waiting the rest of the family to show up

now here is the question

how to tell my roomie to stop being such a dirty pig and start cleaning after himself, before we have an army of insects?

I am not his freaking servant to clean after him

but I want to walk in the apartment without the fear of stepping on something

Scissors are underrated

I've been moving quite a lot

and I have my list of things that I need to bring with me

scissors are on the top of that list

you never think about it

but it is always there

to cut a thread

remove tags

open packages

the little things that can annoy the shit out of you if you don't have scissors

:)

don't forget to pack your scissors, when moving into new place

and don't buy the cheap ones

bad scissors are even worse than no scissors

because

WHY CAN'T YOU CUT THAT DAMNED THREAD!!!!!

:)

bad scissors are like bad relationship

they create the illusion that you have one, when you actually don't

Saturday, December 3, 2016

I hate new Blogger

spending eternity to find needed buttons

why fix something, that had never been broken?

Thursday, December 1, 2016

I love my job

I do

I just really do

:)

Z Nation

got a new season!!!!

yaaaaaaay

more hilarious parodies

:)

I love this show, but it always comes as a surprise, when I read that the show got new season

it is just such a weird show

but apparently it has its own world

and I am one of those watchers

:)

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Is it the sign that I am getting older?

I am listening to Russian music much more now

is it because my brain is too tired to take in foreign languages?

anyways

here is my new favourite

which happen to be not popular at all

therefore only live video



poooooi mneeeeee drugie pesniiiii

Monday, November 28, 2016

I want to sleep soooooooooo bad

I've slept for two hours today (had early departure)

it is 23.00 now, and I am still not sleeping

why?

because I can't sleep well, knowing that the bathroom is a complete mess

:)

so I had to clean it

how the hell had my roomie lived in such a disaster?

you can eat and breath in the dirt, I don't mind

your choice

but bathroom?

bathroom must be clean

it is the place where you get clean yourself after all

have some respect

for yourself

now I inhaled too much chemicals and my sleep is gone

I feel that I want to sleep

but I can't

oh, well

at least the bathroom is usable now :)

Sunday, November 27, 2016

I know what I want

I know what I want

I know what I want

I know what I want

and no time for distractions anymore

no

not even for you, My Scandinavian God

Fully Focused :)

Saturday, November 26, 2016

November was a good month for movies

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

I had my doubts when I saw the trailer

but it is aaaaweeeesoooooome

not as exciting as Harry Potter, if you watch it in 2D, but when you add 3D Imax then all the magic happens

it was the first movie that I've seen that made me wanna use my hands to protect my face from flying things

thaaaaat good the special effect are

:)



my were late for 10 minutes (not my fault), so I had not seen the very beginning

and it is still upsets me, because I wanted to see that Harry Potter'ish intro

I am open to invitations and don't mind watching that movie again

in IMAX or Scape

:)

awesome movie

but like I said

Harry Potter did not need 3D to be jaw dropping

Fantastic Beasts would be a little bit boring without 3D

if you are one of those bad people who leave the cinema after 10 minutes of watching if you don't like the beginning

I strongly recommend you waiting for the moment, when they will go into the suitcase to feed the beasts

if you don't like it, then you can leave guilt free

because all the 3D magic begins in all its glory after that moment

oh

yes

I am predictable

but

Eddie Redmayne stole my heart

such a charming man :)

the next one in my list

you all know

Chaaaaaaarlie in King Arthur

:)

in March

I don't like movies about popular people

or movies made by popular people

but I had one pleasant surprise with Angels and Airwaves and their Love



that line "does it bother you that we are not real?" still gives me chills :)

I have zero movies made about musicians that I at least liked to some extent

nope

not a single one

but something tells me that when I am going to watch this one, I will be smiling a lot



:)

I don't have a feeling

that I am leaving again

it is like I don't see my future in Finland anymore

just a temporary work place there

I know what I want now

My bookstore

and I am going to establish my brand

it is incredible feeling: knowing what you want

as for Finland

those boys won't be having proper Christmas without me

:)

it is like my brand

Winter Holiday Decorations :)

I should have that corner in my bookstore

permanently

:)

Friday, November 25, 2016

I turn into a monster

when I play billiards

I do

I am not proud of it

but I am a complete jerk when I play

the evilness of my mean jokes are not even close to being acceptable

but it is good that my girls are the same :)

today we had photoshoot and after that went to play balls

our usual trio + 1 new girl

new for me, but she is an old friend of one of the girls

we played 2 rounds

1 of the games my team won (my YOU DON'T EVEN AIM!!! style continues, bringing luck, but the moment I start carefully aiming I always miss, that was my mistake, because no aim - ball in)

the second round we had technical loss: my partner sent black simultaneously with the white one

I still think it should be taken only as 0,5 win

:)

anyways, after the game the new girl said, that we should shake hands, so that no "hard feelings" left

like waaaaaaaaat

the moment the game stops, we turn back into lovely girls and we are not angry at each other

buuuut

when the next round begins it is always "our technical loss is the only chance you would ever win, and that is not even a real win" kind of jokes :)

no need to shake hands

we are awesome

:)

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Are people from South Korea

as adorable as they are in their TV shows?

if yes, then I am starting to think that they are the best nation in the world

:)

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

I still love counry

a lot

:)

if you could had been able to cuddle with songs - country is the best pick


I forgot to take pictures

we went to the costume rent today to pick up costumes for the photoshoot in old Russian style

and I completely forgot to take any pictures of the costumes that they had

I am kinda jealous of people who picture everything

when I am into something - I am into something

I have countless memory pictures

and only several in physical world

it is good that I don't waste my time for taking pictures and being present in the moment all the time

but sometimes I just wanna have some

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

27!

I am getting better

:)

only 27 books left

not 29!!!

but simultaneously reading 27 books feels like not enough

like I had not read enough for a day

:)

I love books

Monday, November 21, 2016

I love country

I do

I really do

:)

I love how they pronounce words

feels so soft

is it the Southern way of speaking?

Who writes music for her?

she definitely needs to think about changing those writers

I am whining old lady today

I miss old Britney



but since I am trying to focus on the good things lately

just loooooooooook at heeeeer eeeeendless leeeeeegs

stunning

as for the songs

well

we will always have Circus if we want to listen to a good pop song



music videos is just not her thing :)

awesome song

"My husband does not like when I go out with you"

"because he thinks you look inappropriate"

wait

like

waaaaaaaaaaaat

I am so sorry

that you are the prisoner of your husband and he dictates who you can be friends with

I don't know

I don't understand what happened to a lot of the girls I know

marriage changes things

apparently

we were never close friends, but you have to have some common sense

that was the first time I had been baned from somebody

:)

like, come oooon

I still don't think I look inappropriate

my dresses are short, but not thaaaaaaaat short, they cover everything that needs to be covered

and it is almost winter

my winter dresses are long

just because I prefer eco leather does not make a whore out of me

if your husband forbids you wearing dresses, I am sorry, but it is your husband's problems, not yours

but if you agree not to wear dresses, because your husband thinks you look inappropriate, well, darling, you need to do something with that

I am the whore friend

:)

suuuuuuuure

:)))

like grow up, already

people with their insecurities pushing them on other people

why?

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Be the wolf

that's a good plan, is not it?

nay

I'm talking about the band I discovered today



I listened to their latest album Rogue and to my surprise I liked it a lot

sadly

they are not very popular

so I had not found the videos on the songs that I liked

but if you liked Phenomenons, you probably would enjoy the rest of the album as well

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Not all fat people eat a lot

one of my friends gained a lot of weight

in her opinion

I think she looks great, not all people should be skinny

but she said that according to BMI she is officially overweight

and that is not good for your health

I asked what she eats

she told me what, how much and how often

well

comparing with what I eat, she must be 20kg total

:)

she eats super healthy

I eat all forbidden products

POTATOES!

BREAD!

junk food

all the products that make you fat

works fine with my metabolism

:)

she thinks her problem is with hormones, but she got checked once, and everything was okay

that is weird

because she also goes to gym twice a week

I no longer think that fat people always eat a lot (like they show in The biggest looser)

nope

sometimes something just does not work inside your body

no matter how hard you try

you just gain more weight

and that is sad :(

I told her the only thing I do, that probably helps me keeping my weight under the control no matter what I eat

DRINK

A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

not necessarily only water

I drink all non alcoholic drinks :)

the only drink, that I don't like is Coca Cola

the normal one

with gazillion of sugar

it just tastes bad in my opinion

but don't judge fat people

not all of them eat like insane

Friday, November 18, 2016

You wanted big hair?

you got them

:)

for the last couple of months I was wearing my hair straight only

therefore I used shampoos and other hair care products to help straightening them

yesterday I used a new shampoo

on the package I read "straightening"

in fact it was "strengthening"

my mistake only

Dr Konopka's shampoo (that's an Estonian brand, btw, somehow popular in Russia)

now today I woke up and when I was passing by the big mirror I stopped and my jaw dropped

hair

a loooooooot of it

like a big cloud of hair

wavy of course

if you are Russian, then you will recognize this character :)

that's me before Dr Konopka's

and that's me after:

one wash

one was was enough to wash away all of the straightening products, that I was so carefully putting inside my hair

guess what's my favorite brand now?

Dr Konopka's!

:)

if it can add sooooo much volume to my almost non existent hair

then imagine what if other products work as well

:)

they do have special Volume shampoo

I can't imagine how much volume would that thing add more:)

costs around 2-4 EUR

so

yeah

gonna try them all

and apparently I am back to curly hair :)

Thursday, November 17, 2016

I love weird music videos

this is one of them:



like waaaaaat

:)

deep meaning in the video, though

Apparently

I'm going back

to Finland

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Yes, you can have the part of my heart

Coldplay

:)

The Beast is not ugly!

I had not really understood what was that hype all about

too ugly

too scary

it seems to me I have different world perspective

I thought "he is not even ugly" and then I read the comments



I find him pretty cute

charming :)

what scared me a lot: for a second, I thought it was Stewart from Twilight and not Emma

now that is a scary sign for a movie :)

people writing that movie will not be allowed for kids, because The Beast is that ugly

well

we were born in the times

dark times

:)

when they did not really bothered with thinking what can bring nightmares to the kids

just look at this:



but that monster at least had sad face

now lets put it into hardcore mode

the pictures from the movies for the kids

sleep tight, my friends


that bear like thing still scares the shit out of me

do you still think The Beast is too scary? :)

That wonderful time of the year

When you go out with the straight hair

and come back with the curly mess

Oh, humidity, my old friend

:)

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Descendants of the Sun

consider me being a fan girl now

there

I've said it

:)

I love Korean TV-shows

they are sooooooooooooooo sweet and pure

like

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww

interesting as well

:)



sooooooooooooooo sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

Monday, November 14, 2016

Bookstore!

why had not I thought about that before???

I always wanted to open my own bookstore, so why not to use my time wisely and not apply for a job in a bookstore to see the insides of that business?

that would be learning while getting some money

and I read a looooot

I can tell you a lot about different books

that's like my specialty

today I sent a request to my old surveying job asking if they are still keeping a place for me

somewhere deep down I hope that they don't

I love my job

I love my colleagues

I kinda like the salary

I like calling myself engineer

but if books are my passion

why not to start from the bottom?

let's play the destiny game

and see what they answer tomorrow :)

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Places I want to visit

I need to make a list

I had that list before

with Iceland, Ireland and couple more

now I want to add one specific place

The Bridge

read it as THA bridge

:)

I don't know who I am

I just don't

what would you answer?

Who are you?

answer without hesitation

I can't

I can't say "I am human", because I am still having doubts about the reality

I can't say "I am woman", because I don't fit in a "woman" term in the giving standards

I can't say "I am engineer", because even though according to papers I am engineer, I don't feel like it

I can't say "I am just a good person", because I am no good

and so on and so on

I can't put myself into one certain word

Who am I?

Friday, November 11, 2016

I was sure it was my job

since it worked out with Chevelle, I am trying with the job :)

I still had not done anything to find one

but is not it the perfect sign to start that process?

:)

Just when I was thinking about Chevelle

guess who made a new video?

:)



their last official music video is already 4 years old :)

coincidence?

Doctor Strange

I LOVE IT

:)

it is probably the only movie about superhero that I truly love now



there were awkward moments in the movie theater though

that awkward moment

when you are the only one laughing

:)

I was that laughing one

I looooooooooved the movie

loooooooooooooooooooved the jokes

loooooooooved the character (and daaaaaym, Benedict looks super hot with his hobo beard)

the only thing that was missing for me was the depth of the story

there had not gone deep enough into the story

but that it understandable, the movie has time limits

and that scene with the car crush should be an official educational material on "why you should drive accurately"

if you have a chance, I recommend you going to the cinema and watching that movie in 3D

it is worth it

Thursday, November 10, 2016

My guilty pleasure

when I am feeling a little bit down and insecure I am always watching this video



it's another beautiful day to be Rogelio, wake up Rogelio, wake up Rogelio

:)

I love his character in the show :)

I was sure it was Chevelle

but I was wrong

old  good Jimmy Eat World

:)



apparently they are still singing :)

and they are doing it pretty good

:)

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I'm glad

that Trump won

I really am

:)

congratulations, America

hopefully you will focus on your own problems now (like with the hideous health system that you have), rather than playing the role of Universal Judge

and I hope Donald will explain, that Russia is not THE EVIL you think it is now

:)

*but seriously, could not you vote for somebody else? the third one?

Look who has a new song!!!!!

DROPKICK MURPHYS!!!!

and they have a new album as well

:)
Dropkick Murphys' "Blood" from the album "11 SHORT STORIES OF PAIN and GLORY" out worldwide January 6, 2017



What they don't have is a concert in Finland or Estonia

and since they updated their tour dates the only window left is between 11.02 (when they have a show in Greece) and 21.02 (when they start their tour in America)

now I am trying to be an optimist

but common sense tells me: not this time

:)

All of my close friends

are happen to be smart people

today I got to the company of people I don't know

and must I say

I had never thought people can actually think and talk like that

I was like a black sheep

they are not bad people

they are all wonderful people

but with very limited knowledge

they believe everything they hear on TV

their biggest happiness depends on the amount of likes

it scares me sometimes

I had never understand why people think that I am smart

I do not think, that I am

the knowledge that I have now is far from the base knowledge I want to have

I know that I know almost nothing

and it kills me inside

because I still fail in finding the purpose of life

completely pointless

I am jealous of those people

don't doubt anything and be happy for the likes you get

can our life be simple as that?

I don't know

I don't want to believe that

I need to talk more to the people outside my friend circle to gather and analyze that information

No, it is not

my search for the perfect toothpaste continues

after couple of times my teeth decided that Natura Siberica is just not strong enough

so I tried going in another direction

and bought a toothpaste with activated carbon microparticles (that super weird word combination I took straight from the package)

being part Russian who I am, I always believed in carbon miracles

that thing is just for every major problem with stomach (food poisoning)

so because it is so antibacterial I bought a toothpaste with it

this one

I used it three times

and now it is resting in the wasteland

:)

there is absolutely nothing micro in those microparticles

when you brush your teeth you feel them in your mouth

and everytime that "micro" particle gets between your teeth for a second you think "was it my tooth???"

it is like the perfect toothpaste if you want to test your calmness

:)

I had a period in my life, when my teeth were crushing

like almost falling apart piece by piece

and that "micro" particle thing takes me back to that time

I am sorry

but no

:)

not for me

back to Siberica

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

I still think that Marilyn Manson has the best dance music

it is extremely hard to listen to his songs without dancing

it captivates your body

What was the weirdest thing

that you had ever purchased?

in the never ending circle of my thoughts I caught this one today:

where do stone breakers get their stones?

you know, those taekwondo guys and girls who break concrete blocks

they are much bigger than regular concrete (and other breaking materials) tiles

but much much smaller than concrete wall

do they place a special order in warehouse?

"- Good day, I want to order 25 concrete bricks, but not the regular size, but *specific breakable sizes
- Sure, for what purpose do you need it?
- Oh, I am just gonna break them "

that's how I see that talk in my head

I dunno

:)

have you ever tried breaking a stone?

or a wooden plate?

that must be interesting thing to do

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Someday I will understand

how my mind picks the music it likes

but as for now

my new old favorite

Busta Rhymes - Holla



:)

You are a very friendly family

aaawwwwwww

thaaank yooooou

:)

my sister and her son have birthdays at the same day, so they invited parents of her husband to celebrate with us

we first saw them at my sister's wedding :)

then, when her son turned one

so

basically

we see them once a year

and they always tell us, that we are a wonderful family

or like they said "caring"

we are not one of those families who are with each other every single day telling every single thing

we are more like "I tell one, she tells another and in a day everybody know everything"

:))

I have two sisters and I niece whom I am taking as my sister as well

and three nephews

 if you see us on the street you would never guess, that we are all blood related :)

we are different

but in the bad and in the good times we somehow transform into something big and solid

we are like transformers :)

when my mom was at the hospital I was the one sharing information with the others

because my mother called me furious telling me to call everybody and ask them not to call her anymore

because she could not been able to talk to the doctor without declining calls :)

we can annoy the shit out of people :)

and we annoy the shit out of ourselves as well

my mom always laughs when she hears how I talk with my niece

we are practicing humiliating a person without the use of curse words :)))

or telling compliments in a tone that suggests it is a sarcastic joke

and we do it weeeeell

but in the end we all know those are just jokes

we have the blood

and its ties are the strongest :)

I don't even remember when was the last time we had a fight

we have misunderstandings

but never in my adult life had I screamed at any of my family members

I love you all :)

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Too late

I am not a big fan of sad songs

but this song is worth listening to

Antimatter - Too Late



interestingly vibrating voice

10 freaking 0!!!

I am pretty sure Montreal fans were sitting with their jaws dropped when they saw what my boys did to their team

:)

no hard feelings, Canadiens

but your goalie Montoya needs all the support he can get now, so don't blame him too much

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

SALUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!

if you are not familiar with hockey world, I will explain how much of a surprise was this outstanding win

you see

in the scoring board Canadiens are number one

that means, as for right now, they are THE BEST TEAM in the league

aaaand

we have a reputation of "your yard team"

meaning: we stay in the league only because we have Bob

weeeeeeeeeeell

teeeeeeeeeeen freaking 0

:)



and we don't have one player who scored all of the goals

nope

team work at its finest

:)

I'm sorry, Montreal

but it was our night

:)

Friday, November 4, 2016

I got the papers!

I am officially "person with limited work ability" for two more years

:)

I am only 50% of healthy person

half good

but what confused me a lot is that I usually get that status for 5 years

now I got only for 2

and they usually do that when they have "reasonable expectations for health condition to worsen"

liiiike

I am gonna live longer than all of you combined

:)

ignoring the papers :)

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Don't you ever think I forgot about them!

For those about to rock

WEEEEEEEEEEEEE

SALUUUUUUUUUTE

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!

oh, my dear Columbus Blue Jackets

we failed the beginning of the season

and that means we will end it with power:)

it just happens so

:)

when we win first games we lose the last ones

and we lost a lot of games in the beginning of this season

but now we are pretty solid in the middle of the standings charts

:)





oh

and they are still hugging :)

our Cap and Goalie

:)

Foligno and Bobrovsky

and that's a good sign:)



that was the official explanation, but we all know what video we love the most

this one:



I love waking up to Instagram notification seeing that my team won

:)

in Bob we trust?

:)

It is time to look for a job

my mom has been stable for almost two weeks and she looks healthy as well

I think I can go working now

and I am seeing white vans everywhere today

:)

I still did not get the papers that confirm my illness

but I don't think they will send me to another doctors

so pretty much I am ready to work

just need to find one :)

or go to the old one?

I know I posted this song yesterday

but I am singing it in my head the whole day today

so

here it once again

Brett Eldredge - Wanna Be That Song



I wanna be that soooong

Is it the perfect toothpaste?

I am a big fan of Natura Siberica brand

mostly because of the name :)

Siberian blood, I have it :)

anyways, we have an official Natura Siberica shop now (in Viru Keskus, my dear Estonian friends)

I am a big fan of my teeth as well

I am constantly looking for that The One toothpaste

today I tried the new one

and, for real, I had tears in my eyes

not because I am sentimental

but because that toothpaste is so strong, that it makes your weak eyes cry

badass toothpaste

I LOVE IT

:)

it has badass name as well

Arctic protection

and I think it deserves a round of applause for writing : helps to keep your teeth clean

not like those "keeps your teeth clean"

nope

the truth

it helps, but if you do nothing to keep your teeth healthy, then it definitely won't help

a little piece of truth is always good to have in the sea of advertisement lies

:)

You know you have a certain reputation

when you get more congratulations with the first snow than congratulations with your 30th birthday

:)

we had first snow a week ago and it was pretty decent snow, which, sadly, melted by the evening

I woke up and after seeing the amount of unread messages on my phone for a second I though wait, is it the end of the world?

nay

just first snow of the season

I can't even say, first snow in winter, because it is autumn

:)

I like that people think of me, when they see snow

it is like I am in your brain

:)

the snow master

:)

today it snowed again, but this time it was cold as well, therefore, the snow is still outside and it has no intention to disappear

November had just begun, but we already have snow

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

:)

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Sometimes I seriously doubt my English language skills

for example

this song

Desiigner - Tiimmy Turner



sometimes I watch some "Billboard hot 100 this week" kind of videos, to stay in touch with the music

one song caught my attention

well

because

I had not understood a single word in that song

except for "Timmy Turner"

I supposed it was English

but

like

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

I had to look up for lyrics video to make sure

that did not really help

:)



I understood the words

did not get the meaning of the song, though

:)

and when I tried to read them while he was singing I still could not understand what he was singing :)

rap music can be so interesting :)

Wanna be that song

country'ish songs are my favorite genre when I want to smile

for some yet unexplained reason I am always smiling when I listen to them

:)

I wanna be that soooong



they bring some comfort and sunshine to my soul

:)

simple things

Things, things, things

I am still having my massive cleaning session

and I am still throwing things away

to my surprise I threw away all of the things the man I thought I loved ever gave me

apparently they all either bring back bad memories or bring back no memories at all

threw away all of the letters we wrote to each other with my girls

all of the music bands posters

all of the tickets

nope

not all

I still left couple of important ones, those that bring good memories

like some of Blues tickets (when I had something special at that game or after), one of Rise Against tickets (the Estonian one, when I first saw them live) and obviously Frank Turner ticket (from which you can barely read Frank Turner, because I had a dress with no pockets and had to put it inside my bra, and well, when I am at a concert, I am at the concert, fully drained after, you can use that ticket, in case you need my DNA sample)

you know what surprised me the most?

photos!

pictures, that I used to hate

now I put them in one wooden box and each picture takes me back to that exact moment

and it feels so good :)

even when you look like crap on that picture, you remember all of the good things from that moment :)

I need to take more pictures with my family and friends

most of the material things won't bring you good memories after 10 years

photos will always do that :)

My mom is officially healthy

well

not like absolutely healthy, she still has diabetes, high blood pressure and weak heart

buuuuuuuuut

tumor free!!!

:)

she had not bled

her tumor was removed and now her neck looks like a neck of a normal person

and she got an appointment to manicure master

and she walks like a young woman

today I saw her from the distance and was surprised how free she walks

I need to learn that walk :)

and she started planning her summer

she no longer has intentions to die

and it feels goooooooooood

:)

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Wanna know the easy way to lose some weight?

stop eating products with palm oil in it

I lost some weight again :(

In the past year I gained 3 (THREE!!!) kg and reached 59,5kg and I finally had some decent boobies

and I had some other soft places on my body

I am back to 57 again

hello, bones

oh well

I am telling myself that "at least I look good in tight dresses"

missing the boobies :(

soooo soooooft

I don't want to eat some weight gaining supplements, because I don't trust those things

anyways

wanna lose weight: stop eating palm oil crap

Monday, October 31, 2016

Those guys are still singing

Emarosa

I don't like them, but I love one of their older songs

I had never seen how they look, though

apparently the lead singer sounds like an emo boy

but looks like a lumberjack

that's an interesting combination

here is their last video so far:



that band is just too confusing

:)

oh, and I just looked up in Wikipedia

the band is 10 years old

but that lumberjack is already their fourth lead singer

are their songs that emotional, that singers just can't sing them for a long time?

like I said

confusing band :)

the song that I love



since the band is confusing, then my explanation why I love that song should not be too confusing:

I love that song, because of the way he sings: how you became my life

hoooow yoooou became my liiiiiiiife

:)

good guys :)

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Stupid things that excite me

aroma gel beads aka crystal beads aka fragrance beads

that thing just grabs my attention

when I see it, I just take it and can spend couple of minutes watching how the light plays there

maaaagic

Dropkick Murphys are going on tour in Europe

and I am patiently waiting for Finland or Estonia to appear in their tour dates list

:)

I believe :)
they added Greece to that list a couple of days ago

so the new dates and places may appear

I will wait

patiently

:)

still waiting

and waiting

like come on, how much longer can I wait?:)

Johnny, I hardly knew ya!



and one of my all time favorites The State Of Massachusetts



still waiting!

:)

Yaaaay

finally got a nice round number

:)

Not everybody dream in color

like waaaaaaaaaaaaat

today I decided that I need to boost up my memory and I downloaded some podcast teaching how to do that

three simple tasks to know how good you already are

he reads aloud 20 words, you listen to them, memorize and after he finish reading, you need to write them in the same order

every missed word is 1 mistake, every word not in the right place is 0.5

I've got 6

which is baaaaaaaad

but apparently not awful :)

then the same task with numbers

to my surprise I got 3

and the last task was to imagine a classroom with the GREEN board and you need to keep that green board in mind and start drawing white numbers on it, seeing in mind everything that you had already written

like 5, then you write 2 next to it, picture 52 in your mind and add another digit 7 and having now 527 on the board and so on keeping the process of writing the numbers and keeping them in your imagination all the time

in the end he said, that a lot of people can't imagine that picture

classroom with green board and white chalk numbers on it

apparently, some of the people can't hold that simple picture long enough in their mind and lose it

a lot of people have problem with imagining it in color

that was a complete surprise to me, how could not you create pictures in your mind in color?

that's the way you see the world

but apparently it is a problem to a lot of people

I feel sorry for you, folks!

it was an interesting thing to do

and no surprise here, but I have an outstanding imagination :)))

and not a great memory :)

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Super girly song

:)

Little Mix - Shout Out to My Ex

Soon I am gonna be an expert

in knowing what food can lower your blood pressure

:)

so far everything is fine

never went over 140

compared with 190, that she had before

my mom is back!

Friday, October 28, 2016

Ryan Reynolds is hooooooooow old?

FOR-TY

he is forty years old

like

wooooooooooooooooooow

he looks much younger :)



Darius Rucker

is still singing

and he is doing it pretty damn good

:)



and I still loooooove This



he has such an interesting scull

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

is hot

Sherlock. Season 4

has an official release date now!

yaaaaaay

:)

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Frank Turner is awesome

I should put that in the blog title line

Frank Turner is awesome

:)



oh

do you remember?

Frank Turner is awesome!

:)

I am such a cry baby

:)

I have my guilty pleasure: watching Next top model (while eating some junk food)

America's, Canada's, Australia's etc

and I am always crying when I'm watching the Australian version

girls there are just so adorable and friendly

and when they cry when somebody leaves the competition

I am crying too

And we judge and we judge and we judge

and we judge again

trying to make other people be like us

and then wondering: why the hell are everybody the same?

don't get me wrong

I had the biggest God aka Judge syndrome ever

I judged eeeeeveryone and eeeeverything

:)

finding the things I don't like and then pointing them out

I am no longer doing that

I found a new way of life

I don't judge people, because now I am focusing on creating my world and deciding who and what I want to see in it

it is something like natural selection

if something makes you sad, mad or feel uncomfortable - just get rid off it

if somebody makes you sad, mad or feel uncomfortable - just don't invite that person in your world

it is your world and it is your decision who you want to see in it

everything has a limit time

some friendships should end

there is no point to be a friend with somebody only because "but I've known her from kindergarten"

do not surround yourself with people and things that don't make you happy

why are there 1000000 rude comments on how Kim Kardashian looks today?

why the hell do you even care, she looks exactly how she wants to look

why would she look like you want her to look

and everything like that

you got the point

judging is the slow way into madness and disappointment

selection is the long hard way into happiness

just don't be too impulsive

I am cleaning my room

and I have this out from only one side of my closet:
things that had been kept accurately and neatly on the shelves

things that for 80% I don't even need

imagine how you trash your mind judging people you had not even met

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Ike Quebec

is awesome

like d'ooooh

continuing exploring the Jazz world

so far I love the old Jazz and not so much a new one



sensual - would be the right word to describe Ike's music

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

I love Bon Jovi

as you may remember, I am against old bands, whose members had not grown up and still sing about the things they sung when they were young

Bon Jovi is like an older family member who sings about important things

age appropriate

some bands know how to grow old gracefully

Why are red lipsticks "for whores" only?

I just don't get it

"you look like a slut"

well, thank you, lady, whoever you are, have a nice day too

:)))

I was wearing eco leather short skirt and bright red lipstick

and apparently that is enough to be a whore

I dunno

are not girls who work in sex industry offended by that?

that primitive cliché?

red lipstick - must be whore

who taught you thinking like that?

like a pack of mindless creatures

somebody said - everybody repeat

it is like everything that some shy person is afraid to do - must be whorish

no, not shy person

shy people are awesome

let's say: some mindless hypocrites

oh no, I can't wear that skirt, so nobody should wear that

grow the fuck up, already

I am no longer angry at those comments, but I do believe, that somebody with less confidence can't be destroyed by those kind of words and become just another blank mindless person, judging people on the things they are not brave enough to do

therefore

girls

if somebody called you a slut

just wish them a nice day and walk away like a Queen of sluts

because if you are a slut, then every slut is an awesome person

some people just need to spill out their inner garbage to somebody

and then call themselves "I am a good person, not like you, dirty slut"

Team red lipstick!

*my sister never had a red lipstick, because she truly believed red lipstick - must be whore, after seeing my love for reds she decided to find her perfect red lipstick

**you go, girl!

***she returned one of my favorites with the words: that is just too red for me

****at least she tried :)

Dying people don't buy new purses

don't they?

today my mother decided she is not going to die anymore and bought a new purse

good for uuuuus

:)

she still has high blood pressure, but at least she agreed to go to family doctor to consult with her whether she needs to go to cardiologist or some other doctor

I printed out pack of articles about what products and what actions lower the blood pressure and she agreed to try that out as well

we will get through this

we will

Sunday, October 23, 2016

King of the road

if previous songs seemed too sad for you here one that for some reasons always makes me smile

classical Roger Miller

Healing music

apparently there is such a music genre as healing music

did not know about that

but liked the music

so soft and comforting



it is music day today :)

The other woman

Nina Simone

Gorgeous woman

some pictures just make you stop scrolling

this is one of those:

just gooooorgeous

Am I her mother now?

everything changed so fast

but it feels like if I am slowly exchanging roles with my mom

had you eaten? yes? but your back is wet, you probably had not eaten enough, check your glucose level

3,3?

well, here is your juice and food and we check the glucose in an hour

why are there blood spots in the sink? do you have blood in the throat again? no? is it from the gums? you have way too hard toothbrush, here is extra soft one

and what about your blood pressure?

and she is perfectly fine, sometimes those kind of days just happen

like when I forgot how to hold a spoon or switch the light

just completely forgot

my mother has those days too

but in her case, it is way more dangerous, because she has such a weak heart

I feel responsible for her

and she talks, that she is gonna die soon

I said, that first we wait for the results from your tumor that we will get in a week and then, if necessary, we will talk about the bad things

I am afraid she is losing the desire to live

says, that she is falling apart

I told her it is perfectly normal for her age and after all she looks 20 years younger, than she is

everybody tell that

and how can she be preparing to die, when she looks so good?

I am not sure it is a good idea to come back to Finland

I think I am needed here now

but we will see

in a week

hopefully everything will be fine

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Scientific library

hello, new world of scientific books!

my niece is currently studying in University and we were talking about that when she mentioned that they have huge scientific library

I said that I am jealous, because my university had, well, close to almost non-existent library

and then she said something that had opened me a whole new world

she said: but you can register too

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

I checked the academic library web page and she was right

I caaaaaaan

and you can too

if you at least finished 12y school

or, obviously, some higher education institution

you know where to find me now

Glaciology, I am giving you a chance!

Friday, October 21, 2016

The night calls

are the worst

when some of your family members call you at night, even before answering the call you already know that something bad happened

I did not get that call yesterday

I made it

at midnight my mother came to me showing the paper with bright blood on it, saying: I don't think it is good, if the blood is coming from my mouth

the calmness in our family runs in the veins

of course I phoned 112 right away, explaining situation while telling mom to pack her things and medicine while we were waiting for doctor

I waited emergency doctors outside and followed them to our apartment, telling what happened and what kind of surgery my mom had a week ago

they checked her, told, that they don't see any trauma in the throat or any problems whatsoever, then they checked her blood pressure and it was 190

190!

she has a weak heart and ten years ago she had a heart surgery

so they took her with them and told me to wait for a phone call from her

when they left I cried like a baby

it is necessary to stay calm when something bad happens, so the suffering person would not be so afraid

and I did my best

but when they left I let it loose

and then I thought should I call dad and tell him (he is working now on the ship) or should I not

so I called my niece to ask for her opinion

she did not answer

she had her "WHEN I CALL YOU AT NIGHT YOU MUST PICK UP NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!!" speech from me, when she called me back in the morning

I decided no to tell anything to my dad, to keep him safe

I waited 4 hours for the call from my mom

she told me, that she is alright and blood test are normal and there is no blood in the lungs and the doctor thinks it was because she slept on the side, where her scar is and it somehow made her bleed from inside

I don't know

that sounds way too doubtful

but she is at home now

looking pretty normal

and I annoy her every hour with my "is everything okaaaaay?"

hoping everything will be okay