Thursday, January 29, 2015

Why do I laugh so hard?

each time I see this picture?

and the longer I look at it, the more I laugh:)

he feels like somebody you know, don't you? neighbor, friend, family member, somebody:)even though he looks like a cat


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Short moments of happiness

Why do I always re-check how to spell happiness?


anyways, I found a perfect happiness moment when I need it the most

early in the mornings


here is my hint to you, how to make your mornings suck little bit less

when I am already dressed up, already had eaten, brushed my teeth and etc I just lay in my bed for no longer than a minute

enjoying the silence

not thinking about serious things

just lying on the bed, waiting only to get a coat and go to work

and somehow those moments make me happy

found my morning happiness :)

aaand I just re-checked how I wrote "happiness" again

another word is "enjoying"

feels like I am not sure about good words

I should work on that:)

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

I met him today

my lovely netbook is making awful noises lately

reeeeeeally loud

and feels like if it is dying

read about it in the Internet and discovered, that the problem most likely is the overheating fan

because of the dust

I have a history fighting with fans:)

so I decided to go to Verkkokauppa to get Air duster to clean the insides of my netbook

got it and on the way back down in the elevator I met a man

who perfectly fit in my 5B preferences and in addition was not too tall and not too skinny

he stood in front of me and for those 10 seconds something strange happened in my body

my heart was beating so fast, that I even looked down on it wondering, whaaat the heeeeeeeell, do I have a stroke or something


it is always good to know, that it is back in action and

I was sure that I'm done with men and that I will die alone

but today something in my body told me, that naaaaay, guuuurl, we will meet him


and I believed in it:)

I had not talked to that man in elevator, because, well, once again, I am no longer making first steps

but something tells me that I will see him again:)

and pretty soon:)

as for the netbook


it is shiny now:)

it still works not as silent, as it used to be, but not as loud as it was today as well

but I am not satisfied with the result

so I'm gonna continue my searches for the problem and for the solution

I do not want to buy new computer

my Sammy is my Sammy and as much as I can do to save him, I will do

the next thing to check is something named thermal paste

I have absolutely no idea what it is or how it looks, but I will know that tomorrow :)

Monday, January 26, 2015

I'm too black for a green person

I no longer consider myself a green person

I still do not eat meat, though

but yesterday, when I was leaving the ship, I was standing behind one "eco-chic, hipster, environmental friendly etc etc" girl and I was maaaad

daaaamn, I was maaaaaaaaad

she was in second-hand clothes, with hippie hair and hippie vibe, all that hippie hip

but it does not stop her to get a super expensive phone (you know which one) and very "way-overpriced company name here" handbag

when I came home I opened one Finnish magazine and there was an article about people living in the small apartments

one in particular was about a girl, who bought (BOUGHT!!!) some super old television, that does not work anymore and now is using it as some sort of a table in her room, fuuuuuuuuuuuuull of things

or the cyclists, those damned "green movement" kind of people

every time I see some of them in the city (I have nothing against cyclists in the villages, where buses come once an hour, it is essential need there) I just wanna grab them and break their bicycles with the words "HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT MANNERS???!!!"

the longer I live, the more I understand, that all those green movements are pretty much another religion

you do not allow science to evolve (nuclear power plants), because you protest about every single thing without giving specific solutions to a certain problems (you can put your answers "we can use wind power! solar power! any other kind of power that I had heard about, but have zero knowledge besides the three lines somebody wrote on the paper!" deep down in your ass and try to solve something, aaanything, without using common phrases, and giving scientifically researched and approved project )

does not it sounds like the dark times with Christianity?

where pretty much everything new was "the Devil made it and it must be forbidden, and that scientist is definitely a witchcraft and must be killed, so that our God would be happy"

everybody knows that famous "Reduce - Reuse - Recycle" motto


I do not believe in Reuse part, I am sure it brings more bad stuff, than if I give something straight to Recycle part

you see, when you have a room full of "reused" things, you still have plenty of unnecessary things, which could have be detached (television) and molded into something new

but you keep it, because you are "oh, so green"

you can say whatever you want, but an old tire, is still an old tire, no matter how much paint you will put on it and call it "modern Reuse model that everybody should take on"

people reusing everything tend to forget about the additional costs and things needed to make something new from something old

all those paints, wood, clothes etc etc that you have to have to improve something

I do not really know, why it makes me so mad

maybe because I once was green and then I was disappointed

environmentalism is just another form of religion

and I'm atheist


*I still donate money to animal helping groups, because they actually know what they are doing and why:) and because wild animals are so adorable (domestic animals too, no racism there:)

Saturday, January 24, 2015

All about it

I don't like the song

and I would not had listened it for the second time, if it was not about the video


I laaaaaaughed



Tuesday, January 20, 2015

To my wishlist

The first thing I'm going to buy next month after paying all the bills

Yves Saint Laurent "Black Opium"

I was in Sokos buying some make up removers and a lovely consultant, who helped me choosing one, gave me a fragrance tester, when I came home I tried it on my hand, then put it away and after some time used the rest of it, because I couldn't stop smelling my hand, thaaaat much I like Black Opium

I don't like buying fragrances, because in the bottle they smell so different than on my body, and the only one I love was Christina Aguilera Unforgettable


Black Opium is like an gown up version of Unforgettable

they have similar notes, but Black Opium is softer and deeper at the same time

too heavy for the day, perfect for the evening



Interesting observation about Finnish men

about a week ago we made jokes with one of my friends (she used to work in Finland too), that if I want to find a Finnish man I should look like a Finnish woman

from what I see from everyday life, the most popular style here is sportswear

and the bigger you are, the more sportswear you should put on

it was all jokes and fun, but this Saturday I was taking out garbage and while being outside decided to go to the biggest shop center in Helsinki, suddenly having some urgent need to buy dry shampoo

being lazy ass like I am, I was too lazy to go back and put on the proper clothes

so there I was

in my "I'm just gonna take out garbage now" clothes

in some heavy cheap Chinese boots, pants and oversized hoodie (that kind of oversized, that you don't even have the idea how tiny I really am underneath it, and ignore the fact, that it was -3 outside and I had no jacket) with messy hair I went to the shop

and you would not believe hooooooow many interested looks I had, I felt sorta uncomfortable under this amount of attention

one man even complimented me when I was going up on the escalator

one man was sitting in front of me in the bus and the whole way he just stared at me and I saw that he wanted to talk to me, but since I am not making any first moves now, I just smiled

when I was leaving the bus, one woman, who sat in the bus, stopped me and told me "Good luck to you"






that, I must say, my dear friends, was one of a kind experience


I still don't understand why do Finnish men prefer girls, who look like if they put on clothes without looking on it

is it because it feels, like if those girls are easier to get?

I have nooooooo idea

but I don't like sportswear

I'm not an athlete to wear them

I don't do sports

so I'm back to my dresses and coats, which I love much more

even though not a single woman wished me good luck when I wear dresses yet:)))

the mystery of chinese boots and oversized hoodie is yet to be solved


I wish I had a male brain for a day

This post supposed to be another angry post

but then I decided, ah, what the hell, enough drama



you could had just asked me to remove that post and not playing "silent treatment" game


you know

you are not in school anymore:)

but that's okay

since it seems that you worry so much about your reputation, I will delete the post

but it won't change my mind about that kind of behavior

life is too short to worry about anything

Monday, January 19, 2015

And thats why men should not have long hair

Christian Kane

just another country boy looking like girl with those fabulous hair

and After:

well hello there, the savior of the Galaxy:)

it is the same person, but with long hair he looks like a girl, while having a short haircut instantly makes him 1000% more masculine :)

but seriously, if you like all the movies Librarian, then you will love The Librarians TV-show


Tuesday, January 6, 2015

What do you do in your free time?

I am learning mind blowing finnish words about sanitary sewer and at the same time trying to understand how every little part of it works

you know

doing girlie things :)

translating finnish word into russian and then using google to understand what exactly that russian word means

I need to know more!

Kontula is, wait, wheeere?

ooohhhhhh, that is typical me:)

today I suddenly discovered, that I live two bus stops to the border with Vantaa :)

I seriously need to purchase a paper map:)

because I was really surprised, in my head Kontula is at least 5km away from Vantaa and may be does not even have a border with it somehow


I don't like Vantaa, mostly because of the name, the name is important

Espoo feels like something fresh and free

Helsinki feels like something black and dirty

Vantaa feels like blood and depression

I don't know why, but as I already mentioned before, I have my own relationship with names and numbers:)

I need a map!


Why women love bad boys

I found several reasons

1. Woman wants to look better in comparison with her man. No matter how bad of a person she is, how bad she looks, how bad she acts she will always look better than her man, because people will always assume that she become a bad person just because of her man and they will always feel sorry for her

2. She is bored as hell and has no ability to find something interesting by herself. Bad boy is always on the go, so she will be entertained for sure

3. "Savior", she just needs to save somebody from something and the bad boy is the perfect solution, she will do everything to change him into a good boy

4. Good guy once broke her heart. That one is my reason why I'm into kinda bad boys. I was in love with a good guy, who loved his family, had manners, high education, good job, nice looks and was all that nice and perfect, so I did not expect anything bad from him, so imagine my surprise, when he crushed me into billions of pieces. With the bad guys you always know, that he can do something bad to you and you won't be as disappointed, because deep down inside you always knew, that this may happen. I prefer feeling angry rather that feeling broken.

I am pretty sure that is the most popular reason for girls to love bad boys. We don't want to be hurt so bad again

Monday, January 5, 2015

Hey, fat ass

I am talking to you now

I am not sure if you are still visiting this place, but nevertheless here is my final statement considering our friendship:

I had enough

I'm done with your weird behavior, when we chat every single day and then suddenly out of nowhere you just stop responding

I'm done trying to understand what happened to you and can I help you to overcome that situation

I'm done being surprised when after some time you just appear like if nothing ever happened

I'm done trying to keep this friendship alive

I'm done feeling like shit, feeling like if I'm not worth anything, feeling like if I am not good enough, feeling like if my friend just stabbed me into back and walked away

I promise I will not talk to you again

I will not respond to your skype messages when you decide to come back

I will not respond to your emails when you decide to come back

I will not respond to your text messages when you decide to come back

You gave me hell way too many times

but two can play this game

if you want our friendship back

you have to do something big to prove me that you are, indeed, interested in this, not only saying it for me

we are done with talking, because apparently words mean nothing

now only actions can save this sinking ship

I had enough and I am no longer living in this emotional roller-coaster hell

I am way too awesome to be treated like this

the bitch is back

Jana with the capital J is back

and I am done with you and your empty words

Lazy ass is off

I was THAT girl

today while checking the stats and the schedule of my super mega awesome hockey team Blues I remembered one cute thing from my previous home game

I was waiting the bus and there was a nice young girl, wearing blues shirt

we were alone and since she was smiling on me I decided to have a little post-game talk with her

but she just blushed and silently nodded

she waited for her father picking her up from the bus stop

I was sad, that she did not had courage to talk to me, but I realized who I was to her

I was THAT girl

I was wearing my leather dress, high boots, open coat, I had perfect hair (that is indeed a rare thing, but on the hockey game I somehow usually have normally looking hair, not my everyday curly mess) and appropriately calm makeup


what the hell

I looked good:)

like a badass, who I secretly am (you had not seen me in my biker boots wearing red lipstick yet)

and she was a little bit too big, a little bit too silent, a little bit too plain

and she looked at me, like if I was the most popular girl in school

maybe thats why she was so surprised when I friendly tried to talk to her

I hope this girl will soon understand, that absolutely everybody can look good without investing thousands of euros into plastic surgeries and so on

I hope she will get her perfect dress (I bought my first favorite for....20eur)

and her perfect confidence

I hope that soon some boy from her school will come to her and say something nice to her

and she will start believing, that you don't have to have perfect face, perfect body, perfect everything to look good

because I always was an outsider in my school, in my university, in my country

and I always have low self-esteem when I go home

but I'm the Queen in Finland

because I don't have a history of being constantly reminded that "you are ugly"

I really hope to see that girl again

hopefully she will talk to me


I will try to talk to her again for sure

Back to Finland

decided to go one day earlier to clean my room from the two week dust

and what was surprising is that I was smiling

aaaaall the way to the harbor

usually I'm sad and I don't wanna go back to Finland, but this time I was happy


I guess I miss my room, my people, my hockey, my metro, my freedom

I will hate it again in a day, since waking up at 5.15 is no fun at all

but I am glad that I am back here

Hello, Finland

Jana is back!

Friday, January 2, 2015

I should write something positive

so I would not drown in the ocean of broken plans, hopes, expectations and friendships

I have nothing good to write about, though

mostly because everything in my life is perfect, since I don't care about anyone anymore



here is a happy song

And for a while we let ourselves go blind