Sunday, October 26, 2014

"Do you believe that I'm wizard?"

"I had never even doubted it. What's up?"

you see, that's why I love my friends:)

they never doubt me:)

I love you all, my friends, because you are so awesome:)

if you are my close friend, then you probably already know, that I never stop talking and there is no awkward silence, because I can talk on every single theme



does anybody know when will be the next Medieval time reconstruction war?

because we are going to be a part of it:)

yes, that awesome we are:)

I love it when we talk about fight club and end up with planning to go to the medieval times war:)

that's what I call easy talk flow:)


it is not a joke

and we are planning to go:)

the sword in antique shop costs 360eur, that is waaaay too much

and here is another question: Where can I make my own?


Tragedy + Time

I don't understand why, but it seems like if official Tragedy lyric video sounds much more better than the version of this song on the actual CD

feels like it is less polished and Tim voice is much stronger

not like some emo kid, but rather like the awesome man who he is:)

Thank you!

The Internet society will understand this picture

it works!!!

he has the whole empty floor to sit on, but he decided to sit right in the ring:)

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

1 092 404 people and a moment of happiness

there are about 1 092 404 urban population of Helsinki region (meaning all the commuter towns are included)

you can easily add at least 200 000 of non registered people

and you will get a chance of one to 1 292 404 to see somebody that you really wanna see

I had that chance today:)

while going home by bus I saw out of the window the person I really wanted to see for weeks, driving by in the car

and even though it was a really short moment, but in the moments like those you truly understand, that sometimes all you need is just a knowledge, that somebody you like is alive and well:)

and that thought makes you happier


for no reason at all:)

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Sick like me

I definitely have some girl crush on her:)

I don't know why people are complaining about her voice

her voice is perfect for this song

and I always loved not high pitched voices, but much deeper

also people complain about Maria being too aggressive and too hot (why do you complain over everything?)


first of all, I respect her for that, she loves her body, and although she is not 90-60-90, she is super hot

secondly, look at her closer

she is completely covered

I mean completely

yeah, her clothes are provocative, but she is, indeed, in clothes

the other thing, this is not the music that little kids would listen to

because kids just ignore this kind of music

kids don't know who In this moment are

the lyrics of the song contain no curse words, not even some super dirty meaning

and nevertheless you will read plenty of ugly comments under this video

well, let me show you another video

from a highly known role model

whose music you can hear from every radio station

who kids love and listen to

because she somehow is a role model


and let me remind you

there is no "you must be this old to watch this video"

kids love Lopez, I know it, because the kids I know almost all listen to her songs


and you wonder why little girls look like old hookers now

well, maybe because they listen to booty songs and repeat after their role model

to sum up: if you think that In this moment sends wrong message, go listen to your Lopez

while we, adult people, will have some good times listening to our "whore"


Monday, October 20, 2014

The little things that make me smile


with the size of SD card:)
impulsive buying

bought some Liiga "collect all teams" kind of thing and instantly got my team player:)

it is certain, that I will stay with Espoo Blues, even if we continue losing

like, cooome ooon, it is a sign to stay with them no matter what:)

and each time I look at that super tiny blues man, I smile


Sunday, October 19, 2014

The secret society of people who don't shower every single day

It is so secret, that I can't find it to join in

and I would like to

because I do not really understand how people take showers or even baths eeeeevery siiiiingle daaaay

sometimes not even once a day

but twice

I do think that it was some sort of planned mass manipulations, when suddenly showering once a week became not enough

I do think it is a marketing myth about all those awful things that you can get if you don't wash yourself every day

I was talking with my friend not so long ago and somehow we started talking about hygiene and I was really surprised when I got to know, that she, as me, take shower once a week

I thought I was the last one to do that, because from the recommendations that you hear it is stated, that you have to shower often


I'm living proof, that you don't have to

and it is not like if I smell bad or anything like that, no, my family is very harsh when it comes to such things:) the words "you smell like crap, go to the bathroom"or "you look like a clown, wash your face" is normal, and if anybody does not look good, you will be told about that

I had not had any complaints

remember that I do not work in the office all day, but on the construction sites and even a summer I do not shower often, despite the fact, that I work under the sun in the dust

I do think, that if you wash every day you just wash away the natural protection layer, that your body produces and then you can't restore it, because it becomes a habit to shower every day

I am not talking about every single person, because I know, that some people just smell bad, reeeeally bad, even by the end of the day

maybe they refuse to apply deodorants, I don't know

my personal record was....don't laugh....two months:) twoooooo moooooonths:) once I had not showered in two months and since I did not get response from my family "you smell like crap" I suppose I had not smelled like crap:)

my problem is, that once I tried to shower everyday (felt under those recommendations), that had not lasted for more than a month, but since then I can't wash my hair once a week, I have to wash them once in two days, because I suppose I ruined the restore system of my scull skin in such a short period of time

for couple of years I had to wash my hair every day

but slowly I progressed to two days

hopefully one day I will be able to go back to once a week

I do not shower more than once a week, because I wash my hair in the sink

but if I were you, I would think about taking less showers, because if you wash your clothes regularly and use intimate care product, you just wont be having the need to take showers so often

like come ooon

if you feel dirty every day, you should change something in your life

you know

change your food choice

or workplace

or boyfriend:)

I should establish my own society:)

Thursday, October 16, 2014

The loudest thing on planet Earth

was not the explosion of Tunguska meteor


don't believe when scientists will tell you that:)

the loudest thing on planet Earth is actually a working electric toothbrush, when you brush your teeth in small bathroom in the middle of the night

I am not kidding

the sound of it working can wake up every neighbor in the area of 250m


and I took the most quite one that was in the shop (yeap, I listened to each one that they had)

here is the question: why would you buy an expensive electric toothbrush if it is so loud and at night you have to use the regular 2eur one?

I haaave nooooo ideeeeeea

I would not say, that I see any difference between those two as well

yeah, because it moves so fast it must have been cleaner, but from the visual results, I do not think it does any better than usual one

they should sell earplugs with those electric toothbrushes

because it is, indeed, the loudest thing on planet Earth

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Update on the song

thank you

thank you

thank you

to the man who gave me the name of the song:)

jump with me

Mischa Book Chillak feat Esthero - Ready Or Not


Thank you, Columbus Blue Jackets

for such an amazing season start:)

Two wins, biiiiiiatches

and what is more important, one win was over Rangers

eat that, craptain

had you seen our super mega aaaaaawesome season open video already?

like a short movie filled with testosterone:)

and wise words

and we are going to win Stanley

see, we even stated that in our video:)

it is official now

we are going hunting for the cup

I loooove, love, loooove, how on the moment 01:49 Bob moves like a broken doll and lets state the obvious, the last part of the video (beginning from 01:53) is worth some award for that song, those videos, that music, those men, simply everything


and did you notice what they put in the last part of the video?

yeeeah, craptain, take that:) hit from our Jacket:)

and I'm pretty sure it was not some accident, that they put on just this fight, it is rather a message to our craptain, I used to think, that Nash left because the team had problems with his contract just because it was so heavy

but noooow it seems to me, that my team was not happy at all

and not only fans, but the team itself felt betrayed when he left in the worst season of our team

therefore, dear craptain nash, congrats on your wedding (like cooome ooon, typical bleached blond girl, I'm sure though, that she is a nice woman) and congrats for you having a son


you betrayed your hockey family

and we do not forgave you:)

and we will bring Rangers down each game




For those about to rock!




did you notice slogan in the hall?

Fear no opponent. Respect very opponent.

See, thats what I am talking about, we have class and you can't take that away from us:)

I would really appreciate if somebody could tell me whose remix of Ready or not did they use in the video, because that voice is hunting me now


Bobrovsky, you were the beginning of the rise of Columbus Blue Jackets

and now the team can play their A-game, because they know that one hell of an amazing goalie is protecting the net:)

Thank you for that!

Ready or not, here I come, you can't hide


Paranoid parrot

I am pretty sure, that if you look up in the dictionary "paranoid parrot"

you will find not this picture:

but rather my photo, because in some terms I'm paranoid:)

here is the thing

I am always looking on the camera surveillance directly, because I truly believe that if I suddenly get killed by some religious fanatic the police will find me using the camera materials:)

I doooo

I really do

therefore to make their job easier, I always directly look on it, most of the times even smiling:) you know, so that they wont be looking through videos desperately trying to understand was I there or was not


I told you, paranoid parrot:)

Friday, October 10, 2014

The beginning of everything

today my colleague asked me what I think about the starting point of everything

and it seems like if I had never really thought about it

I wrote plenty of post here about what I think Universe looks like

but I had never wrote about the start point of everything

I have plenty of theories about our Universe, but let me remind you my favorite one, that I had recently updated

I think, that there is no doubt, that there is infinite number of Universes

as for now, I believe, that we are like cells, and you know, that according to accepted theory, everything consist of atoms (and smaller parts), I think, that each Universe is as small as our cells

and cells divide

singe usual Universe theories are too simple and have lots of black holes (got the joke, got it, got it???:) in it I created my own

every universe is functioning like a cell and you (little person that you are in the world scale) is a part of it, each time you make a decision, your Universe divide (like regular cell division) and although you may think nothing changed, in fact you just created new Universe next to your own, just not on the same level

it may have sound weird, because every second billions and billions and billions decisions are made, but I had never had any troubles imagining how big the Universe actually is

therefore lets complicate this theory a little bit more

I always wrote how I think Universe is not a single plain space, but rather multi Universe, I also wrote that I believe not only in horizontal multiverse, but also in vertical one (meaning that not only that Universes exist at the same time on the different dimensions, but that those universes are forming bigger Super Universe, which is a part of Mega Universe and so on)

the cells that we have in our bodies most likely are Universes as well:) Do you follow me? We are the bigger Universe for our little Universes that we call cells and at the same time, our Universe is a small Universe for the bigger one:) and the dark matter is like a connection material

I am sure, that Universe is constantly expanding, but I do think, it is not as simple, as it is taken with balloon being expanded

I hope you got me

but I still have no ideas how it all started

you can't have everything from nothing

and I know big bang theory perfectly well, but still, it does not make sense (dear religious people, your explanation of beginning of the world is even more nonsense, from nothing the almighty God was created by nobody, who then created everything else, and suddenly disappeared)

I do think, that there is some sense in superstring theory

but I still can't imagine the start point of everything

it just doesn't make any sense

the law of conservation energy may be the only physics law I fully accept : Energy can be neither created nor destroyed, but can change form

and you can divide your Universe as many times, as you have to and when you reach the point, when it is no longer possible, you "die", but in fact you just change form


I can't

I have lots and lots and lots of theories about everything, but I can't offer you at least one theory about the beginning

There is no starting point

There is no finish point

it is just endless dance of superstings that doesn't have neither beginning nor the end

where did those superstrings come from?

I have absolutely no idea

there is no starting point

like there is no present time:)

just deal with it

Thursday, October 9, 2014


my new favorite TV show:)

it is a little bit naive and you will find some reeeally hard to believe situations and actions, but I love it anyway

mostly because of the lead actor and his sidekick

you can drown in his voice:)

the show, that despite all of the deaths in one episode, you watch with a warm smile, because that how how it makes you feel


We are back!!!

Today is the first game!

Tonight, if you live in Estonia

For those about to rock




need to get a new Blue Jackets scarf, mine is now does not look good enough:)

ooohhhh, both of the leagues are now officially on

Liiga and NHL

double hockey joy:)))

I'm pretty sure I will stop watching hockey the day I will understand how goaltenders see and react so fast and well

but something tells me, it is never gonna happen:)

talking about goalies

remember when we learned new name Kristers Gudlevskis (that amazing Latvian goalie from Olympic games)?

well he got signed with Tampa Bay Lightning and even played in april:)

right now he is playing in AHL, but still is signed with Tampa Bay

and lets face it, Bishop and Nabokov are not the brightest stars on goaltenders sky:)I'm pretty sure Kristers will get a permanent spot in the team pretty soon


another good news: Phi-bitches lost, yaaaaaaay:)

as you may already figured out, I still for no apparent reason hate phi-bitches (also known as Philadelphia flyers)


as for the hottest player in Finnish league, let me present you my Blues man: Roope Talaja:

girls, why don't you watch hockey, if men like that are playing there?:)

Happy new hockey season to everybody!!!

We Will Win!!!

Give this song a chance

I did not like it at all when I first heard it, but after my phone was constantly pushing it into my ears from my playlist I accidentally felt in love with it

and now I whisper My heroooooo when I walk on the street:)

some songs just make you happy

even if at first you ignored them:)

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

My last big secret

I did not want to write about this

and in the whole world only two people know about this

but I am kinda tired of keeping it inside me and this story will explain, why I am still single and why I sabotage every relationship that I have

if you belong to my family, please don't tell about that to my parents and never talk about this with me, because I will pretend, that I have no idea what are you talking about

when I was a little girl (somewhat around 7-9 years old) I was abused by a man I knew (and if I was 100% sure of the things he did, he would had been dead by now, and I am not just saying that, but meaning that)

because I was so little, my mind decided to erase those memories and leave only certain parts of it, to remember not to trust anybody

I could had gone to psychologist, but I do not wanna remember what exactly happened that night, because it will destroy me and turn me into the beast

but what I remember is enough for me to wish that man was dead

I did not do or say anything before, because I can't be 100% sure of what exactly he did, since I buried it deep down inside me, if I had said it before, I am sure, that my dad would had killed him, no jokes, he would had killed him, and I knew that even being as young as I were, my dad is like a big lion, who protects his family, he just was not there to protect me when I needed it

I'm 28 years old and I had never slept with a man

I'm not sure, whether I'm still technically a virgin, because I prefer not to remember anything about that night, but mentally I'm a virgin

at some point of my life, I decided that may be I'm lesbian, so I tried sleeping with a girl

well, I'm definitely not a lesbian

which is kinda sad

but I love male bodies and male minds

I had never even hugged a Russian man, because that man was russian and subconsciously I expect only bad things from them, I can't do nothing with that, but it is what it is, and if you know me personally, you may be noticed that already

I had no problems with Estonian men, but I just had not found the right one, because of that love-hate relationship between our nations

I feel completely free here, in Finland, because I am surrounded by men, who are not blocked in my mind

I love hugging them

I love feeling the warmth of their bodies

I feel safe here

and although you may be thinking "oh, she went to Finland only to find some naive Finnish guy" reality is "oh, she went to Finland only to find a man, who she actually can physically touch and enjoy it, without hitting his face to the wall"

little simple things, girls

little simple things like holding hands I can do here

and can't do with russian men

I hope I can find somebody, who will someday read this post without feeling bad for me and without thinking "nay, thanks, she is just mentally challenged crap"

I won't delete this post

like I did with several similar posts here

this one is here to stay

I hope this will help you understand me a little bit better

and as a soundtrack to this post

here you go


Monday, October 6, 2014

Vadelmavenepakolainen, Finnish women and Finnish-Swedish men


sometimes I wonder do Finns even know, that you can separate one long word into several short ones


apparently I like Finnish movies:)

in total I had watched somewhat only 10 of them, but out of 10, nine I liked

it is cool, though, that last month I understood about 50% of Mielens├Ąpahoittaja movie and this time it was around 80%, woooohoooo, but I think it is because of the subtitles:) it is easier to understand the language when you read it, not when you hear it, nevertheless, laughed my heart out:) such a lovely movie

what I realized, is that I will never find Finnish man if they are so attracted to Finnish women

I am in no way even close to Finnish women

I sincerely apologize, if those words may hurt you, but what I had seen from the movies and from the girls I see on the streets - Finnish women are.....feminist bitches

so so so so so sorry

but I came to this conclusion based on everything I see and hear. Evey single woman in the movies I see is always not happy with her man (ALWAYS), she always tells him what to do, she puts herself way higher than her husband, she talks to men like if they own her something and damned you be, if you are men and you show any sign of gentleman behavior, because you will be called somewhat sexist pig

whyyyyy would finnish women wanna be so much like men?

sometimes I think, that they use men only to get pregnant, have kids, and then divorce the man

I am still mad on that woman from Mielens├Ąpahoittaja movie, who treated the father of her husband like piece of crap

apparently it is not like in Russia, where : FAMILY COMES FIRST

not your own wealth and needs, but family

and family is not only you and your kid, but your husband and both of your parents

but that is okay, it is finnish way of life and who am I to tell you, that in 20 years there will be no strong male figures, only passive boys and lots of superwomen

therefore, no Finnish man for me since I do not fit into the standard of typical Finnish woman

now I need the Finnish-Swed one:)

how I had not thought about it before I have no idea

I come from the family of Estonian Russians, Estonia and Russia always had tense relationship and me being kid of mixed family shows, that you can have love-hate relationship, where hate comes from traditions and love comes from the family:)

Finns have same tense relationship with Swedes, it is like they are not fighting, but they don't like each other, therefore, I need to find the result of same love-hate relationship, because being with the blood of two nations who hate each other, he will understand, that there is no place for mean jokes about nationalities

and just imagine what kids can we have:)

whity white Estonian-Finnish-Russian-Swedish boy or girl:)))

since my man will be already with mixed blood, I wont ruin any pure blood with my mixed blood as well:)

let the pure blood be pure


and we will have four times more awesome kids:)who will speak five languages:)

to sum up: the girl with cold Estonian mind and hot Russian heart is looking for brave man with cold Finnish mind and hot Swedish heart:)

and go to the movie, if you wanna have a good laugh:)

I still don't have Facebook account

probably the last person on planet Earth from my generation who does not have it:)

and when somebody asks me: can I have your facebook? well, I am always failing to explain, why you can't do that:)


in the very beginning it was because of my stalking attitude and I knew, that it would tear my heart out when I see pictures of men I used to like with their girlfriends

then it was because I knew I would be jealous when I see pictures of people my age with happy families and kids, while I am still looking for the brave one

after that it was because I knew too many people and I understood, that it would take hell of a lot of time to keep in contact with all of them

and in the end it was because I don't care about anything anymore:)

looks like if I had lived through all of the facebook stages without actually having a facebook:)

but hey

I always say: google me

the only place you can find me is here

and after reading couple of posts you can already understand what kind of person I am and what to expect from me:)

better than facebook

old school blogger:)

google me:)

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

My new ringtone

I may not be here, but at least you have music

it is like when you call some company, and they have that automatic response "your call is very important to us"

here is mine:

Your presence is very important to me, even when I'm not here

so here is a song

that you would wanna put as your ringtone

I know it, because I already did:)

just put it on and you will notice how incredibly well the beginning of this song fits into ringtone

you should know that when you call me, I will be smiling:)


here we gooooooooo

here we gooooooooo


I'm still here

but being in lazy ass mode


I need to schedule a certain plan to write something here, because all the things I wanna say are buzzing in my mind and one day I will go insane, if I don't drop it here

need to find that time

and I will


laaaazy aaaass