Wednesday, August 27, 2014


Today I got to know, that some popular sport network organized web poll to know who is the most valuable player of the history of each NHL club


maybe that is because I did not now about it and had no opportunity to vote, but our craptain Nash won that title for Columbus

he may had won it

but for me he will always be a traitor

not cool, Nash, not cool

still mad at you

craptain, to leave a team when we had problems, not cool, bro, not cool

anyways, the second most valuable player is no mystery if you had read the title of this post:)

Sergei, even though he had been in the team for not such a long time, is, indeed, valuable:)

remember what I said about phi-bitches collecting our players? well, Bob had been phi-bitch as well

and let me remind you this magnificent video from what you can learn how to scream Seeeergeeeei Bobrooooovsky on the game:)


For those about to rock




Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Things every girl needs

or should I write Tools?


yeah, my weak hands can work with that:) because assembling things require some skills:)

the cheapest I could find, had no problems with them, work as fine as the expensive ones that we have at home

and since a girl can't stop being a girl, in addition to those useful ones, I got....

the green ones:) juuuust because they are green:)

and a little advice to the girls, even though they are lovely green, try to buy screwdrivers with rubber handle and magnetic tip, because while looking boring that black screwdriver from the top picture is a pleasure to work with, the green ones, on the other hand, look nice, but you can't stop repeating: oh, cooooome oooooon


do not tell boys, that we can work with hands too:)

Reading on four languages can train your brain

yeah, I love Crichton so much that I read it in Finnish and English and despite my disgust towards bugs I read a book with a beetle on it

that is how much I love Crichton:)

as for the russian book, it was a big disappointment for me, Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind, I had read so many good reviews about that book, that I decided to buy my own

and it is not the best book I had ever read ("Sorrows of Satan" by Marie Corelli is), it is plain boring and characters are so simple and predictable that I feel like if while creating new worlds Goodkind forgot to add personalities

I don't like number 4, I think I should start learning the fifth one:)

If I go

this song deserves more attention

I try to avoid that kind of songs, since it reminds me how desperately I used to believe in love

but since Waiting all night with super mega handsome Kurt I started following her songs

I liked her voice a lot and truth be told, the wise words are behind that simple Waiting all night song

what every girl wants? She needs to know, that you need her (it shows her how important she is for you) and that you want her (it shows that you find her attractive) and that is pretty much all we need:)

anyway, If I go somehow got stuck in my head and for the second day I'm dancing in my head to that song:)

she is my new girl crush (sorry Carrie), just loooooook at her faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous haaaaaaaaaair, she is like a lion:) I loooooooooooooove it

one desperate love song a week can't ruin my decision to stop believing in love:)

cos you know

it does not exist


Monday, August 25, 2014

There is no present time


welcome to my new theory:)

from now I believe that there is no actual present time

no "now" moment as we see it

sit comfortable in your chair, because now you are going to read why you don't have present time

couple of days ago I read a short book (I'm a bookworm, remember?) about free will and although it was somewhat 40 pages the quality of those pages made me think a lot about free will

or the fact, that there is no free will

see, in several sentences I already took present time and free will from you, way to go, Jana! :)

I doubt everything I read or hear or see, but that book made me think, that it may be right

the main point of the book is that there is no free will and even in the simple situation of choosing what you wanna eat for dinner you don't actually choose, the brain dictates you what it needs and you cook what it needs to. Basically you are standing in front of two plates one with potato, one with meat and can't decide what to eat. Which is wrong, you already know what to eat, but for some reasons those signals don't come as fast as the brain produces it

The brain is the core of human body, it knows exactly what it misses and what needs to be improved, so you can not want something you don't need to, but you can not take what you want with your free will, because brainy brain will block those signals, since it doesn't need that at the moment

look at the hospitals, the patients with "no brain activity" are like vegetables, they can't decide absolutely nothing, not how to breath, what to eat, how to move, but with brainy brain being shut down it must be the perfect chance for your free will to come to stage, but nooooo, only machines let you live when your brain is dead

it is like living with your own Stalin in your body

he is just sitting there, manipulating your actions

your eeeevery action

your eeeeeevery thought

and this leads us to absence of present time

we live in the past, looking for the future

I'm not talking about "oh, I live in the past, because my boyfriend dumped me and I can't get over it"


I'm talking about all the actions we make in the present time, were already planned moment before by your brain

the moment is so insignificant, that we take it as sudden desire to do something

you are sitting on your comfortable chair and out of nothing decide to go to the bathroom, because just NOW you felt the need to go to the bathroom. WROOOONG, a split second ago your brain already knew what to do and everything you do NOW is just a postponed action, because our body is so bulky and can't react the same second

it is something like superposition and famous Schrödinger's cat, at the same moment we simultaneously live in the past (the brain already sent signals) and in the future (while we are getting old signals, the brain already produces new ones)

but we don't have present time

we live in the past

even though that past may look like present

you are welcome:)

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Umbi no more

our lovely R.J. Umberger left the team

it is indeed sad, yeah, he had not been the best for couple of last seasons and lets be realistic, he was a little bit too slow for our updated young team, but cooooome ooooon, he was our Umbi

he was like a symbol of the team, since craptain Nash left

he used to be phi-bitch and now he was traded back there

and I have a question for Phi-bitches manager Hextall: are you trying to get all of my boys?

Flyers now are some sort of Columbus Blue Jackets outlet

just add craptain Nash there and you will get Jackets 2012, unless phi-bitches traded them again

I am still crying deep down inside of me when I think about Vorachek, he was the one we never should had traded, but we did

it must be some sort of sign, when somebody from your team get education you must be worried about his future in the team, is he involved enough in the team or is he already thinking about retirement

I think our Umbi lost that 100% will to win every game and is, indeed, focusing on his future after the hockey career end

therefore, dear R.J., you are a phi-bitch now, but we will always remember you in Columbus for that amazing game, that you used to play

We will miss you!

Good luck in your new team, R.J. Umberger!

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Lingerie disaster

I forgot about that Finnish women have slightly bigger boobies

and by slightly bigger I mean D-cup or at least C-cup and not 80cm, but more like 90


I needed to buy a new bra and must I say I felt like a kid in a Wonderland

everything is so magical


only that I felt like I needed to go to child department to get my B:)

you see, there is a gap between really small sizes and bigger sizes and that gap is cup B, I do not know why is that, but all of the B cups that they sell in Finnish stores are with push up effect, I don't need that, because I am perfectly fine with what I have and I can't find the regular T-shirt bra with no push up

should I be worried, that I am not too small to buy A, but not big enough to buy usual sizes for Finnish women?

they sell sizes here that in Estonia you can buy only in stores for bigger people or you can find some minimum choice in usual lingerie shops

I am still trying not to overreact, when I see hundreds of 90D, 110F in usual shops

but I do have problems imagining that size in real life

it is like biiiiig



therefore, dear non Finnish men, if you are looking for big breasts you should move to Finland, you will love it here:)

and I will continue looking for my size that they don't have without push up

thinking: thats okay, not everybody love big sizes


Pharmacy disaster

I know basic Finnish words about medicine, something like cold, temperature, ache and so on

but I do not more specific ones

and I need to

Finnish food is too heavy to digest for me

I wrote about it before, Finnish food is full of different flavors and consists of multiply ingredients, the clean food is rare here and it cost a fortune to eat only natural one. It is like you buy a bread and that bread consists of hundreds of little breads and you feel like you had eaten an elephant after eating one slice

even berries here don't look like berries, but more like some GMO freaks of nature that look like berries they failed to sell in Estonia and decided to take it to Finland and sell it for a price twice higher than in Estonia

I'm not kidding, I am a super big fan of berries and in Estonia I eat it all the time, but when I saw what they sell in stores here I could not believe, that people actually buy it for thaaaat price

I found Estonian shop with almost Estonian prices so the problem with bread is now solved (Tallinna Peenleib for the win!), but I still have problem with digesting all of the rest of products

I had not had that problem last time, but I guess I'm getting older and more sensitive

first of all, I understand why a lot of people don't tolerate milk product, most likely because the milk they have in the stores is most likely not milk at all, but some out of this world substance that looks like milk

I miss my clean easy to eat food, but it is what it is and I should bring some cooking books from Estonia to at least bake something I know

my problem now, is that my stomach makes a looooooot of noises, a looooooooooooooooot and usually I would think it is because I want to eat, but I don't wanna eat at all, so the reason for those sounds is probably because I am failing to digest even my breakfast, everything is soooooo heeeeavy heeeeere

so I decided to go to the pharmacy, to buy something to get rid off that problem

and it was disastrous

indeed it was

I felt like an alien in that pharmacy store

I understood only the word for "stomach" and all of the extra word for me were like whaaaat

I do not curse in my language

but I was so lost, that the only thing I was capable of saying was : Whaaaaat the fuuuuck is this for

there were endless shelves of products under "stomach" and I had absolutely no idea what they are for, because for 90% we don't have the medicine that they sell in Finland, completely new companies, products and none of the ones I know about

no No-Spa

no Espumisan

not even coal pills

yeah, you read it right, it is highly popular medicine in Russia and Estonia, because coal absorbs everything you want to be absorbed and to some extent even poisons

I needed to take out my smartphone, because it was the only way to translate what was written on those packages since pharmacy lady was not speaking english

it took eternity to find in those endless shelves of stomach product the ones that supposedly can solve my problems


it had been four days now

I bought 3 different medicines

none of it works




I guess I need to take a trip to pharmacy store in Estonia to buy everything that actually works

it for a surprise for me, that there are so many different pills in Finland

like a lot lot

apparently a lot of people have problems with digesting food here

much more than in Estonia, because even in the largest pharmacy in Estonia we do not have such a big variety of stomach medicine

and knowing, that people actually eat that food all the time without complaining kinda confuses me, it is okay for me, since I can always bring my light one from Estonia, but what about you, dear Finnish people, why the hell do you allow to sell that crap to you?

I feel bad for you

but at least I understand now, why there are so many overweight people here

with the food like that it is no wonder

Friday, August 22, 2014

Sometimes I rewatch this moment just to cry for a bit

and I always do

it is just too emotional

Justin is amazing!

Stickers on caps

started noticing that a lot of people wearing caps have stickers on it

not like something meaningful stickers (like Espoo Blues for the win!), nope, the one that manufactures put information about the size of the hat


is it like a thing now?

the bigger the head - the better the man?

or quite opposite: the smaller the head - the better the man?

I understand, that comparing penises is not comfortable and it is not allowed to do that in public, so is it a substitution for it?

hey, bro, I have 68 head, what do you have, douche? only 65? you little piece of crap

thats how I picture it in my mind:)

but seriously, whats up with those stickers?

should I stop removing all the price tags and put big size tags on everything I wear?

that would be preeeetttyyyyy weeeird:)

therefore, guys who wear caps with stickers, would you be so kind and explain me why do you leave them on?

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Fifty shades of grey

is a big big big mystery for me

one of the biggest ones

in the ratings of "things I do not understand" it is somewhere between constantly rotating electrons and false lashes

I understand the concept of these things, but I do not understand whyyyy


same with shades of grey

I read the first book (had not(!) bought it) and I am indeed confused

it is a book about nothing

absolutely nothing

like with that Magic Mike "movie"

it looks like a book, feels like a book, but it is not really a book

I am completely confused why this book is much more popular than brilliant Harry Potter

I would understand that, if nobody ever had written about sex in the books, but coooome ooooon, there are thousands and thousands of books about everything, THOUSANDS!!! not the "know how books", but the same like fifty shades

I read a couple of it, did not like it much, but at least they had some sort of plot there

just remember Friends, that episode, where Joey find Rachael's book, they were popular even back then

therefore it is indeed mystery how all of the sudden people got to know, that there are books about sex written and the first one ever is fifty shades

it is not

and I am sorry for those of you who thought that

I dunno

three books now? and after the first book people actually bought another two?

and are so exited about the movie

are your lives so sad and boring if shades are affecting you so much?

go get a real sex and then read a real book

you know

Harry Potter ones:)

just to make some fun

here are the three most popular quotes from shades and Potter


1. “Laters, baby.”“

2. - "Why don't you like to be touched?"
- "Because I'm fifty shades of fucked-up, Anastasia”

3. “Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Perhaps I've spent too long in the company of my literary romantic heroes, and consequently my ideals and expectations are far too high.”


1.“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”

2. “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

3. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

my personal favorite is not in the top 3, but I would like to remind that once again:
“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”
you know what

here are all of the rest: it is just too hard to choose from

see the difference?

and Harry Potter is considered to be the book for kids only by those who read shades of grey

and that is a huge mistake

Monday, August 18, 2014

Finnish song that I love a little bit too much

Indica - Elä

Ja valheet vain katoaa
Ne hankeen haudataan
Ja valheet vain katoaa
Paha siipensä ei saa

Brooklyn nine nine

I had watched the whole season for FOUR times already:)

and I still laugh like an idiot

eeeevery siiiingle time:)

and I understand, that humor is kinda stupid, but I looooooooooooove it and I am not ashamed to admit, I laugh so hard, that I start crying every time I see this moment:

This city does not look safe anymore

something changed

maybe the fact, that I'm no longer living in lovely Espoo

Helsinki is no fun

yesterday I took a ship, that arrives at 21:45 to Helsinki

and whaaaaaaat a niiiiiiice looking Estoooooonian guuuuuuy was sitting next to me during that trip, but I'm keeping my emotions and actions under the control, so I did not chase him

still think that was a mistake

nevertheless, when we arrived to Helsinki I decided to take not the always full tram 9, but the other one, that goes to Arabia or smth like that

I know the center of the city quite well, so I knew where it goes and how to get to metro from there

in the tram one lovely drunk lady yelled at me, for no reason whatsoever and although I call her lady, she was drunkie junkie with pack of empty bottles and a specific aroma :)

just right after the yell some huuuuuge muslim woman fall on me, like, literally, I was sitting on my seat and she decided, heeeei, why not to fall on that girl, and so she did, I do not understand how I survived, but I do remember the smell of her armpits, yeah, my life will never be the same

after getting out of that hell train (which was hard, because it was packed with drunk men and I'm sincerely sorry if I step of somebody's foot) I took a short lovely evening walk



almost got into the street fight, was acting like: okay, so here is me and my lilac suitcase, I know you are fighting, but I wanna go home and you are fighting on my way to it, what would Jana do, of course without stopping passed through fighting men

luckily did not get hit, barely passed one:)

here comes the creepy part

when I finally got to metro, I took my train and while I was sitting one black man sat next to me

and then he said: I saw you in Tallinn, you were in --- shop and then I saw you on the ship and now I see you in the metro train



whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell

I repeat, I took a longer way from the harbor, just to breathe some air, so everybody from my ship by that time must had been already gone

just how creepy that is?

but then again, I am a bit racist and if in that train there was sitting that lovely Estonian guy I would instantly marry him because "it is destiny!!!"

but since he was a black guy I was bit freaked out, how the hell is that even possible, felt like he was stalking me from my very lovely country to this evil city

I know it is just a coincidence, but I can't get rid off the feeling that non white people sorta hunt me down

and I don't even wear dresses anymore, because I got tired of constant "hey girl, I'm ---"

even though it was fun at the beginning and made me feel sorta attractive, now I feel like if I am gonna end my days somewhere in the woods, forever gone and never to be found

I realize, that it is extremely wrong to think like that, but for every black guy who talk to me I assume he want to convert me into his religion and be stay at home mom with billions kids

it is wrong

but it is how I feel

stereotypes are there for a reason

therefore, dear Finnish/Estonian/Russian/Swedish/Norwegian/pretty-much-any-brave-white-man, there is a girl living in Helsinki, who will appreciate the company of a brave man before the religious muslims will hunt her down :)

overreacting a bit

but not much :)

for the black people who felt hurt by this post, I'm sorry, I am sure you are all awesome when you are one by one, but in the groups I feel threatened and this is how I feel

people should not move to other country bringing all of the cultural baggage from the country they escaped from

it is not about the skin color, it is about attitude

and skin color is the easiest way for knowing what attitude to expect

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Robin Williams

Is dead

committed suicide

by hanging himself

the second most awful way for killing yourself

the first one is in the bathroom with your veins cut out

like, dear suicidal people, that looks just gross and have some respect for your body

you know and I wrote about it several times, I do not wanna live and if there was some elegant way for killing myself, I would do that, but sadly all of it is messy and dirty

as for Robin I'm glad for him

because I understand him, for the whole life he was fighting with obsessions and desires, I'm pretty sure he realized that life is meaningless in the early age as well

maybe he had done some awful things

maybe he had no apparent reason to kill himself

but it was his choice and his decision

all of the people writing those sad comments "oh, he was such a good actor! oh, what a tragedy and so on" don't be sad or mad at him

he already lived way longer that he wanted to live himself

he did it for the people who care about him

for the people who loved his movies

but being 63 he finally decided to do something for himself

to do something that would make him happy (even though I understand it is hard to accept the fact, that suicide could had made him happy)

we would never know why exactly this day or this way of killing himself

but we don't need to

he did what he wanted to do

and for that second, when he made a decision he was the world's most happiest man and maybe that was the feeling he was looking for his whole life

don't be sad

he was not killed in an accident

he decided it was enough for him and you should be grateful for those 63 years that he lived not because he wanted to, but because he did not want to hurt you

we all die one day

I hope he died happy

I still think this song is underrated

it is so warm, that you can't stop listening to it:

Finnish people don't really talk to each other

When I'm angry I don't talk as well, but I am pretty sure Finnish people can't be mad aaall the time

I don't understand or speak Finnish well enough to understand everything

but when I'm having my sorta dinner (the one when you buy some bread, chocolate or fruit with something to drink with) I like eating not in the office, but somewhere outside the shop or even in the shop, if they have benches there

because I like feeling needed

you have no idea, how many little stories I already know from the people I will never see again

Finnish people don't talk

but the older they get, the more they are looking for somebody to talk with

and I like being that person

they just sit next to me and start telling me something about their lives

I don't understand a lot of what they are saying, but I don't need to, all I have to do is looking at them and from time to time add something like "oh, really, I see, that's interesting, thank you" and that's all, I feel needed, they feel like they finally talked to somebody

in the closed world you need to have some doors opened

and I do like, that they talk to me, despite the fact, that I'm wearing working clothes

usually people don't really connect with construction workers, because we have some sort of bad reputation

but I guess I look so charming and lovely, that they are not afraid of me

at least somebody are not afraid of me:)

oh, and I still do think my ass looks amazing in my working pants:) I doooooooooooo

therefore, dear Finnish people, if you have nobody to talk with, look for a girl eating something on some bench and know, that girl is me (picture is in the right column) and I'm always ready to listen to you, even though I won't understand much

or find me in the Skype

I need to listen to more stories

Lets add some not so new music here

somehow started listening to it almost every day

and I don't like the whole song, only :
I'll be waving my hand 
watching you drown  
 watching you scream 
quiet or loud

Life is too short to waste it on bad razors

well thats a strange name for a post :)

but yesterday I bought some fancy schmancy Gillette and I just have to say it to you, girls: Forget about cheap razors, yeah, the blades are sharp, but after using super comfortable more expensive one you just won't go back to the cheap ones

because not only the skin feels goooooooood, but it looks less irritated as well

and "less" in a significant way

therefore, girls, remember: Life is too short to waste it on bad razors, get a good one and enjoy your smooth skin


this is not an advertisement for Gillette, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of other good companies, but it happened so, that in the local shop you really don't have a choice, it is either Gillette or Gillette


Monday, August 11, 2014

If I were a boy

I did a little research about things that I don't understand about men

the main thing is obviously how one boy can date several girls at the same time

and girls, here is the answer: unless he specifically mentioned, that you are dating exclusively, he has the morals to date another girls, because he never promised you anything

I knoooooooooow


but it is indeed logical, if he is not sure about you and wants to compare you with somebody then he will date several girls

for us, girls, having a man is like an ultimate decision: you are mine, I don't need anybody else

so if you are not sure whether your man sees other women ask him with the direct question: are we in the exclusive relationship

and don't be mad, if he answers no, because it is normal, and you just have different standards which he does not fulfill 

how a man can date a girl, who openly is cheating on him, that I don't understand yet, but well, maybe he is a gay, who just not ready to come out yet

I should think about that

direct questions, girls, direct questions

if I were a boy, I would probably at some point of life date several girls, just for the scientific reason of comparing

Sorry, Your Princess Is In Another Castle

I love this kind of songs

like if it is consisting of several absolutely different songs

but together it sounds interesting

little bit evil, but still good:)

Sunday, August 10, 2014

One room a day

I read a lot

a lot lot

most of the books I don't even read til the end

some of the books I read only few pages

but the amount of information that I have in my brain surprises me

sometimes some memories come out of nowhere

like with Ahoy!

but today I remembered one way to fight stress

I do not remember where I read it, but the point was: if you want to live without any sort of stress and worries you shoud live in one room (or, if you prefer, box) a day

it means that you do not think about what happened in the previous rooms/boxes and do not try to see what will happen in the next one

I think it is indeed a little bit dangerous to live like that, but why not to try

yesterday is gone

tomorrow is not here

you only have today


Today is the room you need to fill with emotions


for no apparent reason I wanna say Ahoy all the time:)

I don't even know where did that come from, but now I feel like a sailor and to every Hei! I wanna answer Ahoy!


Saturday, August 9, 2014

And you wonder why

my eyes don't leave my phoneeeeeee

there are songs, that you don't like, but you feel the urgent need to sing along

this kind of song:

The classic crime - you and me both

I'm so sick

of sleeeeeeeeeping

I'm so sick

of neeeeeeeding more


that line just needs to be shouted out as loud as you can:)



Boy is not the answer

caught myself agaaaain trying to find somebody to solve my problems

this time with Finnish language and muslim people

need to solve it myself and not trying to give it to some lovely Finnish blondie



after all

I'm not afraid to die, so why worry about religious people:)

Friday, August 8, 2014

One month!!!

oh, another reason to love Finland (not only for handsome blondie men)

the hockey season here starts on September!!!



Espoo Blues!!!

we did well last season:)

went to the playoffs

as well as my super mega awesome Columbus Blue Jackets:)

and you know what would be great?

both of my teams winning cups in the new season!


For those about to rock





I probably need Finnish boyfriend

talking with him can help me a lot with learning Finnish language

it is sad, that only black people are trying to talk to me

where can I get the Finnish one?





Call me racist

but the super mega tolerant Finland is way too much super mega tolerant if it allows these kind of videos to be published without any political protest note or at least some money fine for him for, dunno, Incitement to ethnic or racial hatred

but noooo

I'm the one who will probably get some sort of restriction order to him, because I hurt people feelings

well, screw you

I sincerely do not understand why every northern country accept so many people from non north and not only provide them with everything, but actually allows them to live according to their beliefs

I can talk a lot about muslims and their religion (I actually read some of the Koran as well as Bible)

I can talk about black people feeling they can play the "you are racist" card every single time they get into some trouble

and even though it may sound a little bit harsh and disrespectful to people who were killed in Norway, but to some(!) extent Brejvik was right

I do not understand why governments of northern countries are pushing this multicultural crap

this should not be happening

you accept so many people from "war zone" and then try to integrate them into society

well, here is a free advice for you: IT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN

we are just way too different and that is perfectly fine

what is not perfectly fine is one sided descrimination

I can't wear short skirts and kiss who I want on the streets of some arabian country, because I will go to jail for doing that

but on the other hand, I can't banning wearing hijab in my country, because it is racist

lack of logics, don't you see?

the simple rule is: if during the day you see more than 5 persons wearing hijab or some gypse clothes, then you already have way too many of them in your city

it is racist and definitely not tolerant, but it is what it is

they will never accept your european way of life

they will never accept your traditions

they will just be waiting for the moment to expand their power and kill your identity

and you will be sitting in your homes thinking: but at least we are tolerant and not racist

and you have no idea, how much I hate seeing white girl wearing hijab

go to your southern hell and live there with your lovely traditions

I am tired of this

and I do understand that this post will cause me a lot of problems in my future, whether while I will be looking for apartment or job, but I am responsible of what I wrote and I will stand by it

you have no idea how many times I already heard some naughty comments from non-white people during those short five days that I am here

I do feel like being descriminated for being so white in Finland

weird, is not it?

all of the written above do not include smart asses

I love you black science people with all of my heart

and I respect you with all of my brain as well

you rock!

unless you are wearing hijab and trying to convert everybody to your religion

but since you are smart asses, I'm pretty sure you are not doing that:)

as for Finnish people who are tired of being tolerant: come visit my lovely Estonia and I will pay you 10eur if you see more than 5 non Estonians/Russians during the day (unless they are tourists, a lot of tourists visit Estonia and I have nothing against that, if they want to see how we live, they are more than welcome:) but not more than 5 permanent residents:) because, as I already said before, Estonians can be little wild when it comes to keeping their land to themselves:)

My new music crush

you know, that kind of band, when you jump in the room, playing air drums and feeling happy

and metalcore is not really my thing

but that band is just way too good:)




Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Franklin and Bash

I love this show


and it has one of the most catchy intro songs that you will ever hear:

and the full version of the song:

Confused and concerned

I'm back to Finland

and I would hate to say it

but for the two days I'm constantly thinking Did I make the right choice to come back

don't get me wrong, my boys are the best and if you are looking for awesome surveyors in Finland you should let us do the job for you, and by "us" I mean AIP-Mittaus

as for me

I am indeed confused and concerned

I did not have that last time I was here, but now I feel like homeless person

I'm too Estonian to be Russian and too Russian to be Estonian

I work in Finland and I understand for about 35% of what people are saying to me and the boiling soup of languages I use on daily basis is slowly driving me insane



on a daily basis

I don't belong to Estonia

I don't belong to Russia

I don't belong to America

I don't belong to Finland

I have no homeland

and it is killing me now

I do not know why just now, but it is

I don't like it

I don't feel excited anymore about my work

I don't really wanna work

I don't really not wanna work

I am nothing

I do nothing

I die reaching nothing

I broke myself to so many pieces, that I don't have a solid core anymore

just pieces of silver metal glued together

I should find a solution to this problem