Wednesday, April 30, 2014

I do it

the face in third frame looks exactly like mine, when I see some bug

and yes, I sleep with the poison, if I suspect something is in my room:)

I don't like insects

and everybody knows it

that's my kryptonite

the only appropriate bug is ladybug

do you think that the name for the bug in English is weird enough? well try Russian one:) if being translated to English from Russian ladybug is "God's cow", where cow is in the soft lovely form, like a little cow, but not calf


I absolutely have no idea why:)

God's cow :)

Lee Brice

the older I get, the more I like men like him

the right word describing them would be "real"


People actually do that

thought that I was missing something

today I understood that I had not talked with one of my friends for somewhat a month or more

which is weird considering that we talked before almost every day

well, now I know, that it is indeed real situation, when somebody leaves without any sort of explanation

today you are good, tomorrow you are gone

that's okay for me, because I am not a very talk-to-me-talk-to-me-talk-to-me-NOW person anymore, but it is indeed strange, when you can't even say something like: I have work to do, can't talk anymore, my girlfriend is jealous, so I can't talk to you anymore, I'm at the hospital, so I can't talk to you, but it would be nice if you come and visit me

you get it? simple reasons, which does not left you confused, but more like: oh, I see, yeah, okay, see you in a year or five

I can't imagine what girls feel, when their husbands send them text message with the words "I don't love you anymore, thanks for 10 years of marriage", or when you were perfectly happy yesterday and the next day all his things are gone and number is changed

who the hell do that?

based on stories in the Internet, a looooot of people

but well, it is just a choice that people decide to make, and you can't be mad at them for that

nevertheless: not cool, bro, not cool

same goes for the girls:)

Not this year

but you are still the best team!

thank you for this outstanding season, Columbus Blue Jackets!

We salute you!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The song that makes me feel like if I'm superhero

since new Godzilla will soon be in cinemas it is the right time to share with you the best part of previous movie

which is - song


it is permanently in my playlist and when I listen to it I do feel like if I'm superhero:)

it has something so strong in it, that you feel immortal as well

*I like the shorter version of it, not the video one

I close my eeeeeeyes and I seeeeeeee yooooooooooooou

staaaaanding theeeeeeeere

I cryyyy teeeeeeears ooooooooooof sorroooooooow

I die

love it

Useless you

and useless me

we can die together!

today I started thinking about how little do I know

yeah, me, who actually knows a loooooot

but then I imagined situation that I would like to offer to you

try that to feel how useless you are

I am engineer, I know how to assemble things and how to use complicated machines

but I would be useless in this situation: imagine you waking up in the exact place where your house used to be


and you are only surrounded by naked people waking up with you

and here is the twist

the population is still the same, but there is no single artificial thing left in the whole world


no knives, no wheels, no packed food, no hammers, absolutely nothing, only nature and you with your people

and now try to survive without anyyyything

we all know how things work in theory

but I think that the only thing I would be able to do is making a bonfire

I know how wheel looks and which it consists of, but I would not be able to make one, without modern things, I can't even imagine how can you do that from stones or wood or anything

I do not know how to make flour

I do not know how to make fabrics

I do not know how to make knives using fire and steel

where do I even get iron?

how do you feed cow, if you live in the forest

how do you even keep that cow

where the hell do you find cows in nature?

those things I do not know

absolutely useless

look at the things that surrounds you, can you make at least one of them? not like knowing how do you make them from products, but actually finding the needed ingredients in nature and turning it into that thing?

do you feel useless too now?

I do

we know how to do things, but we don't know how to create them

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Profile pictures

how do you take them?

it occurred to me, that none of my friends take photos on a daily basis

when we meet we talk, we laugh, we have some good time, but we never take pictures

and it would be hard for me to even try asking "hey, so, can you help me taking my profile picture? you know, like if I'm all that mysterious drinking coffee in a cozy restaurant thinking about global warming"

I always fancied those kind of photos, where women drink some coffee


the problems are that I do not drink coffee (I'm black tea person, Earl Grey!) , I'm not mysterious (but I'm lil bit on my mind) and I'm most definitely not thinking about global warming while drinking tea:)

therefore, that would be some fake photo

I have zero photos with my friends taken this year, I don't really know why, we just don't have time for that, there is just way too much talking to do:)

I do not post pictures here that often not because I'm shy, but because I'm not capable of taking good ones:)

I know how to use timer, but when I'm waiting for it, it looks like forced photo with forced pose and forced smile

and since I'm snow white and reflect light like the ice in the Arctic region, I always fail to set up all necessary options to take a normal picture

but I had profile picture that was taken year ago

thaaaaaats a little bit way too long ago:)

therefore to prove that I'm still alive and well and not some creepy man, here is my latest attempts in the "selfie zone":

I did not want to use such a blurry photo as a profile pic, so I changed it a bit to bring up some sharpness:

I love how my hair looks, when it is defined like that:)

see, I love hockey, but I'm definitely not a guy:)

I need to improve my photography skills


what I did not know is that my glasses break the lines of my face, do I really look like that when you talk to me, like if part of my face suddenly became thinner where the glasses are because of the lenses?I hope it is just because of the angle the picture was taken:)

Sometimes I feel like that

Thursday, April 24, 2014

And you just smile like an idiot

because you are happy

we are playing with Penguins

and you know what?

2:2 in the series and who would had thought about that year ago

me, of course:)

I love how my men fall down, freeze for a moment and rise like a phoenix to win the 3:0 game with 3:4 :)

that's the spirit!

as for those people, who for some reasons say, that Bob is the only reason we win

well, Bob is awesome, but he is not the one, who scores goals:)

it is the whole team:)

but I do have to admit, that I am a little bit angry at the new fans, where were you, when we were at the bottom of all standings?

hopefully you will stay with us, if we won't win

but you know

We Will Win!


Goooooooo, Columbus Blue Jackets!

For those about to rock!




Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Watching The Bachelor ruined my life

okay, not like literally ruined, but explained that love does not exist

like, at all

yeeeeah, I learn from reality shows, but I came to conclusion, that there is no love like shown in the books or movies

there is no such feeling as "being in love"

everything is much more simple

you tend to be with someone, who makes you feel good, because you like that feeling

and it absolutely does not matter whether you are dumb or ugly


if at that exact moment man is looking for somebody dumb to make him feel good, you can be the most stupid person in the world

and it does not matter if you are ugly as hell, because if at that moment he is looking for that specific feeling, he will accept you as you are

and you can be "in love" with plenty people at the same time, because they make you feel good in different ways

and it must be completely normal, we are selfish and the only thing we care about is our own satisfaction and sometimes one person just can't give it to you and you need to get the necessary amount of that from many people at the same time

like the bachelor, when watching the show he surrounds every girl with attention and loves them all at the same time but for completely different reasons

and if you feel that you need more that one person for doing that, it probably means, that you can't get what you need and you should not try to keep the relationship that you have and look for somebody who will satisfy you

I may sound mean and heartless, but that thing which you call "finding the true love" basically means that you were lucky enough to find somebody who gives you emotions you need (whether they are bad or good) in the amount that you need and so you don't have to bother looking for somebody else

we are all selfish and every our action is just to make us feel better

the love is just a myth for weak people, who try to hide that by saying "oh, I love him for who he are and I won't change anything in him", that is a lie and you should start saying as it is "I love him, because he makes me feel good and if at some point he will not be able to give me that feeling, I will change him for somebody new"

everything we do is for our own need, even if you pretend that you care about saving starving kids in Africa, you don't care about them, but you like what you feel by doing that

some people need more complex emotions and the will always have mistresses

some people are simple and they find somebody very easily

but, please, do not trust movies, love does not exist as it is portrayed

love is just a short term for "you satisfy my needs"

and Joey was always right

Why bus stations?

is it some code word for Estonian men?

it happened several times, some man walks to me and asks where the bus station is and I start explaining where exactly it is located and how you can get there

but then they suddenly start talking about other things and asking for a number

and it was not just one time


I always feel so confused, when I'm done explaining and he did not even need that information

like what the hell

and what is more important: why the hell bus station?

why not railway station?

or any other station?

I do not like when something confuses me:)

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Oh no, he did not!!!

but he diiiiiiiid

I'm reading Game of Thrones and I literally have to skip to the end of one chapter, to make sure, that he did kill him and then return to read more carefully how he died

I had never done that

but I was too shocked to believe that and that came out of nowhere

I expected him to live for at least another two books

for those of you who watch the show, according to spoilers in the internet, you saw it too last week:)

for those of you who still read the books, no spoilers for you


Martin plays wicked games with our minds

and I find this picture describing it perfectly:

Prisma makes me happier

Thank you, for doing that:)

you see, I know it is not a popular opinion, but I always was exited by cashier's work

I always wanted to work at the cash register just to register everything people buy

but since I do not love people that much I always knew, that this work is not appropriate for me, since I can possibly be the worst and rudest person you can ever meet if I'm in the bad mood

some Prisma markets now have self check out zone, when you do the register and paying work yourself

and I loooooooooooove it

sometimes I go to the shop just to buy a bottle of Cola light, because I want to use its bar code when I pay for it


I can't help it, I love it and it is indeed, part of my child dream that now I am having:)

as for cashiers: I never understood why are they so ashamed of their work, why are they not telling with proud where are they working

I think it is one hell of an interesting and exciting job (the only part I don't like is constantly sitting in a chair, but then again, most managers rarely leave their chairs as well)

dear cashiers, please be proud of the work you are doing!

Dear Prisma, I always was your loyal client, but now you won my heart:)

Rise Against had not produced new songs in a while

therefore here is the old one:

We either choose to follow or be left on our own
 I love them

I wanted to send you a text message

but then I decided I won't


since I felt in love with myself I no longer need an object of stalking:)


and if I used to share my happy moments, my sad moments, my hardly explainable moments with certain people, I no longer do that

I had not even texted my Finnish crush in moooooonths

and that is a big deal for me:)

I have my girls, after all:)

the ones, who are not confused getting: "What do you think about Chinese pianists?" kind of text messages:)

we are the best!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014


I laughed way too loud :)

Watching Game of thrones

after reading the books is like:

you will be dead next episode

you will be dead by the end of this season and you will be dead most likely in season 3

looking at the character knowing that almost all of them are going to die is pretty hard

but reading the books after watching the series may ruin the story

therefore I am currently finishing book 3 and starting watching Game of Thrones season 1:)

and just to make it clear, the series are like for kids, books are much much much much more darker


but I like reading it, mainly because of the fact that you don't know will he kill your favorite character in this chapter or will he let him live and who will betray who

my slogan: A Song of Ice and Fire - Bringing the inner beast out of you since 1996

because reading while waiting who will die next and how, is just not right:)

about the series, since I watched only one episode, I can't say much, only that I imagined Sansa Stark being much more younger and more elegant

I liked Cersei Lannister, her character is awful, but she looks just like I imagined her

so beautiful

Making plans and having hopes

are two main things, that can destroy your life

now I understand that

plans that I once made are somewhat 99% impossible

hopes that I once had about certain things are somewhat 99% dead

and all of those plans and all of those hopes are constantly circulating in my head, creating theories about what could have been

this year I learned, that you should not make any plans and should not have any hopes, then you won't be living with the ghosts of "what if" situations

I do not know where I will be tomorrow and what I will be doing next month, and I am okay with that, I am not going to make plans anymore and I definitely won't have any hopes

tomorrow I can be dead and I will be okay with that

tomorrow I may be winning lottery and I will be okay with that

but I won't be planning killing myself or hoping winning the lottery

I need to live one day at a time

leaving all the plans and hopes in the cemetery of broken dreams

I grew up

and I like it


I'm under the gun agaaaaaain, The National are awesome!

WE ARE IN!!!!!

my hockey friends must have noticed, that I had not been commenting Columbus Blue Jackets that much this season


I did it on purpose, because I thought, that the more you say about going to playoffs, the lesser are chances to actually go there

and you know what?

WE DID IT!!!!!!!

WE ARE IN !!!!!!

for the second time in team's history, my boys are going to play in the playoffs:)

and you know it is the right time to sing

For those about to rock







thank you, Columbus Blue Jackets!

I keep feeling smaller and smaller

when you want to close your eyes and fly away far away then listen to this song

it will crawl into your soul and make you feel comfortable and secure

The National - I Need My Girl

that music

that voice


Thursday, April 10, 2014

The Race

still hypnotizes me

The best of the worst?

I love reality shows

like Project Runway :) watched even the side projects of it

or America's Next Top Model

or even Bachelor

I like the moment of competition, but have you ever noticed, that when you start watching the show and there are a lot of people still in it, you somehow think, woooooow, they are all so awesome

but the further it goes, the more you realize, that there is not a single person, who amuses you

not anymore

and when you see who wins, you forget about him the next day

it is weird, because you agree with the judges most of the time and they do make right decisions, therefore it is more confusing when you watch the final episode thinking, why are they still here and think where are those awesome people who were in the beginning

dissolved into the oblivion

it is sad, because it makes you think that you have zero skills in understanding people if you like somebody in the beginning and in the end you don't even care anymore

and it is just a television show

in real life it is even more sad

what is the point of being you, if you are only the best of the worst for one moment, before the new one comes

endless line of people

who do not stay in your mind

I remember only one designer from all of the shows I watched

Justin LeBlanc, may be because he is deaf, but I think because he is extremely kind and loving person and incredibly talented designer

I'm not ashamed to admit, that I cried like a cry baby, watching him doing his work

he is awesome

but nevertheless

one is way too little in the ocean of forgotten people

even though one is all you need


it is little bit strange, but I got a little bit too excited, when my vacuum cleaner broke


which is even more strange, I was joking with my niece the same day it broke telling her, that the only thing, that actually loves me is my vacuum cleaner

everything hates me, my shampoos, my lights, my pillows and so on

everything breaks and not working fine with me being around, except for my vacuum cleaner, because I am the primary user of it, basically The only user of it, so I was joking, that it was the only thing that loves me

well, imagine my surprise, when the same evening, after I got home after meeting with a friend my vacuum cleaner broke

the motor of it was simply burnt

my loud cries: WHOOOOOOOOOOO TOUCHED MY CLEEEEEANEEEEER??? were heard far away from my home:)

apparently my mother decided to clean a carpet that evening I was out and she did not use it properly: carefully and slowly

so I needed the new one, because the only two machines I really need are iron and vacuum cleaner to make me comfortable

this time it was not like, oh, I like that green one and it costs not too much

nope, I did a quality research

I compared the suction power, noise level, cord length, weight, size, bags, price and the amount of unnecessary functions that they offer, but what I will use once or twice

I watched a lot of videos to actually hear how it works

and the winner is

dot dot dot

Hoover PurePower

it is not only working good, it looks awesome as well:)

seriously, all that I wanted from the vacuum cleaner, I got it

on minimal power it works so silently, that I had to take out my headphones to make sure it is working:) it is quite loud on the maximum, but you literally have to hold the carpet with your leg for it not to be sucked into the mighty beauty:)

I can give advices now if you want to buy a new vacuum cleaner, just ask me:)

It is time

to come back

is not it?

Friday, April 4, 2014

Highly unpopular opinion

now I will say it

here it is:

I actually kinda like Andrus Ansip

yeeeah, I can almost feel the huge amount of rotten tomatoes flying to my direction

but people tend to forget, that politics are not puppies, they don't have to be pleasant to everybody

I do think that the kind and lovely politics are the worst ones, they will compromise on everything and they will try to pleasure every single person, which in long term relationship will end with bankruptcy and riots

Politic must be angry

must be strong enough to take unpopular decisions, which will make people hate him, but which will be useful for the country

Ansip is probably most hated prime minister that we ever had, but like it or not, Estonia did not lose thaaaaaaaaaaaat much during recession and we are actually doing pretty well, slowly, but constantly getting better

so yeah, you definitely can hate him for his decisions, but I understand most of it and I applaud him for being the tough guy, brave enough to take all the hate he got

we will see what the new one will do now

the one that looks like a happy puppy


Unnecessary meetings

I always get confused, when somebody tells me, they have absolutely no free time

I know that may be they want to seem important, but for me it looks like some really bad time management skills

when I was looking for a job, I went to several interviews ans some of them offered me a job I was not applying for

which means wasted time for me and for them

or when somebody tells me, that we need to talk in person and tells me everything that could be written in email

wasted time again

you do not have "no free time", you have way too many "unnecessary meetings"


Wednesday, April 2, 2014

People and happiness

I somehow always thought that beautiful people are much more happier than the not so attractive ones

but today I saw very handsome young man and he was high or drunk or both

and I thought, but you are soooooo handsome, whyyyy do you need to use anything to be more happy, with the pretty face like his I'm pretty sure he is not familiar with being lonely and broken hearted

then I started watching passing people (yeah, waiting for a bus takes some time) I noticed, that beautiful girl paired with handsome man looked distant from each other, like two completely strangers with nothing in common, and behind them was a completely normal couple, not too pretty, not too ugly, but they looked so happy and they were holding hands and smiling to each other all the time

and I know, it may be coincidence, but looking on the photos of couples, who are happily married you may notice, that they are not super hot, but they look like if they belong together

while super hot girls do look hot, but almost all the time with different partner

here is my thought: super hot people are actually super insecure of themselves and they feel the need to try extra hard to look good and be popular to hide that under the mask of confidence

average looking people know that they are loved not because of how they look, but because of who they are and there is no need for them to hide anything behind the mask

I know I will never be super hot, mainly because I'm too lazy to do anything to my body whether it is fake hair or fake lashes

but I also know, that I'm that kind of girl with whom you will never be bored:) I know how to talk and what to ask and although I still think it is kinda sad, when you are called "you are funny" I am indeed funny and know how to make jokes:) i should stop forcing myself being more hot and admit the fact, that my personality may be weird, but is indeed awesome at the same time


realizing who you are will make you happy

there is no point of using masks

enjoy who you are

Manual gearbox must be forgotten

and never be remembered

today I drove a little with automatic gearbox and I must say, that I enjoyed driving for the first time ever

with automatic transmissions you can concentrate on the whole road more carefully, because you don't need to chaotically change gears all the freaking time

but sad enough, in Estonia we have separate licenses for manual and automatic gearbox, meaning, that if you pass exam on manual, you are allowed to drive cars with automatic transmissions as well, but if you pass exam with automatic gearbox then you are not allowed to drive with manual one

I understand it, because they differ so much

but I do not understand why do they still produce cars with manual gearboxes, when automatic is so much more comfortable?



The river of illusion

don't do drugs

Can you live without a phone?

imagine living without your phone for a week

how many of you have alarm clocks?

I have and I was really confused, when I wanted to see whether I still remember how to set it on

took me a while to remember:)

how many of you have wristwatch?

I do not have therefore I would not be able to know what time it is, when I'm not home

how many of you still have stationary phones?

I don't have one

imagine how hard would it be to even call 112, yeah, how will you call it, when you have nothing to call

how many of you remember how to get in touch with your friend without mobile phone and social networks?

imagine how much time will you waste in your job, when you don't have a smartphone

for surveyors it is that you have to go back to office to get all the orders and answer all the questions somebody asked you when you were on your object

therefore I do not understand why old people say that youth is lazy

we now live in the world with sooooo muuuuuch information and you can't hide from it, you have to process it in, whether it is useful or not

but I do look at my phones thinking, damn, I depend on you way too much

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

I am not a kid

but I always sing along when I hear this song :)