Monday, August 26, 2013


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Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Another station: another mile

once again, since I'm working on a railway road, I often have flashing words in my head

for the past three days it is: Another station, another mile

and I totally forgot, that I still had not had that DVD

I want Rise Against Another station: another mile DVD!!!

and if you for some reason wondering from what song they took that line "another station, another mile", then it is The Dirt Whispered


the song that always makes me smile:)

and just to remind me why I love them so much and why do I want that DVD:

Where is my own Tim?

Today was the spider's day

and yesterday was some ugly creepy insects' day

what am I talking about?

my working on the railway:)

I am working here for 1,5 weeks already, but the more further we go from Mikkeli, the more exited I get when I see all of those new insects

oh, wait, wrong word, not exited, scared to death! that's the right one

we already did 30km of it, in 6 working days


and add 30 more, because we walk forth and back as well

yes, I do have legs of top-model now:)

I do not mind working under the heavy rain, I do not mind having my legs wet all the time

I do not even mind walking on the railway track, at least now I know, that surveyor's best friend is ASPHALT!!!!!

I get some sort of mental excitement, when after the working day I finally walk on a solid ground:)



but I do mind the endless collection of bugs I find in my hair


in my hair!!!

aliiiiive and crawling

since I'm not working alone I keep my hysterical screams "I HAVE BUG IN MY HAIR!!!!!" under a total control, playing the being cool card, just taking it casually out of my hair

but the moment I come back at hotel, the first thing I do is running for the brush and I brush my hair until I am completely sure there is no alive thing in it or dead, or anything at all, then I wash it and then in the morning, I somewhat put a tonne of repellent on my clothes, skin aaaaand hair, even though I may damage it pretty bad by doing that

sometimes I get jealous of bald people:)

nevertheless, today was a lovely day of no bugs, but spiders. I love spiders now:) in comparison to those ugly crawling insects they are fluffy puffy pieces of rainbow, I don't even kill them, when I see them crawling on my clothes, I just put them back on the leaves, today I saw a reeeeeally big one on his spider web, and I actually thought: "Oh, hi there, don't mind me, I just take another path, do your spider things here" and I had indeed taken another path :)

the longer they stay away from my hair and my head, the more I like them!

Song that stole my soul

while listening to my favorite Post Grunge Rock radio I suddenly stopped surfing the Internet and was listening to the song that was on that channel

I never do that

when I like the song, I just look for it bit later, but not with this one

that song stole my soul, so I had to listen to the words more carefully

and I have to say, that song is one of the most creepiest ones I ever heard

and I do feel the pain in it and I do sometimes close my eyes while listening to it, even if I am walking on the street

here is the song

Hurt - Rapture

I would recommend you listening it to the very end, because it is the last verse that completely changes the feelings that you have while listening to that song

"Oh no, she didn't" was my reaction

but she did

I do not know, was it the real story, but I do feel all of that horror

Sunday, August 18, 2013


I miss Estonian food

I really really really do

it is quite strange how food in two countries located 2 hours away from each other may differ so much

it seems to me, that Finns do not eat anything that doesn't include sugar or coffee in it

eeeeverything is with sugar here, even bread

they do not like pure products, they need billions of additional flavors to eat anything

I am a huge fan of salted products, and it is heartbreaking, that Finns eat even cucumbers with sugar flavor

how is that possible I refuse to understand

I spent like 10 minutes in peanuts department looking for salted ones

found only one pack of it

I miss bread, normal white bread

here in Finland they have some sort of gray bread or white bread with tonnes of sugar on and in it

the only white bread I found is what they call French bread, why is it French, I do not know, but it tastes like paper

in Espoo there is one little Estonian shop with Estonian food, but there is no such thing in Mikkeli

therefore, if you are planning to visit me, would you be so kind and take those products with you:

Tallinna peenleib (the only bread I love)

White bread (basically any white bread)

Salted !!!! :

salted peanuts:
and this one:
I will be very happy :)

and I know, that people would say: but you live in Finland now, you should eat Finnish food now, but would it sound too offensive, if I say that most of the space in the food stores take overly sweet food (last time I checked, I still had diabetes) and the other half some Indian super spicy food

I want fooooood with no additional flavors on or in it


I love Sara Bareilles

she is so drama free kind of person

happy and real


and caring as well

like a ray of sunlight in the darkness of pop music

we need more music like that:)

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Jana and the white helmet

just to prove, that I am indeed working on construction sites wearing fancy white helmet here is a picture of me


My girl is back!!!!

since the failure of new Flyleaf and being overly auto tuned crappy new Paramore I missed a band with woman's lead vocal

so I decided to look for a new band and although I found some really good songs, those were one good song on the whole album kind of bands

therefore I turned back to the girls I loved listening before to see whether they are still performing

well my favorite one is back!!!!!!

back for already over a year and I didn't know about that


I stopped listening to them since their last two albums were somehow pure crap after the two first brilliant ones

but now they are back to their sound

my favorite song so far is Emily:

reeeeeady to goooooo

reeeeeady to use iiiiit

and that part with "and I'm sorry" reminds me why I felt in love with that band in the first place:)

loooooooooooooove it

and here are some more songs from that CD that I had missed last year

aaaand Invisible:

love the words

lil bit too sad, but true

and for those of you who have not heard about Exilia before (probably 90% of you) here are the biggest hits from them:

*Unleashed was their best album so far



Last man standing

I do not believe in gender equality

not do I believe that boys who tan in the tanning salons are boys

yesterday I was going home by train and I was wearing my working clothes and holding a helmet in my hands when one hell of an obvious gay sit next to me being all that styled and having clothes of big expensive brands

and then I thought, that something in this world went wrong, if men now look like that

it is like if they decided, that they had worked hard enough and now they just put all of the responsibilities to women, because those mindless feminist bitches wanted that

I love watching construction men working, because I instantly feel like a little princess surrounded by big strong men

you know, real men, who can provide for their families and who are brave enough to do the men stuff and nor discussing how expensive their shoes are and how to get their hair styled so perfectly

I do not know why did it happen so fast

but I do miss big strong men

therefore I was happy to find this TV show:

my dad is like that as well

and I love that

I find it being extremely wrong thinking that everybody are equal on this planet

we are not

and there is no point in turning men into feminine men and women into manly women, but somehow people want to be that middle gender

I don't wanna be like that

I would love cooking for my man while he is repairing my car

I would love cleaning the house while he is reading the newspaper

I would love watching hockey with him, but I won't mind if sometimes he watches it with his boys

I find it being right

as long as he is being man and not that middle gender piece of crap scared of any responsibility

love you all!

but not equally :)

I just don't get public transport policy here

I just don't

another thing I don't understand happened today: I was on the bus stop waiting for my bus and on the same bus stop there was a bus with the engine off, just parked there, and not on the road, but with the huge part of the bus parked just on the road for walkers

I thought, like, okaaay, may be it got broken, who knows and now it is waiting repair bus

but when according to the time table my bus had to be on the bus stop, that bus which was dead suddenly started the engine and instantly drove away, you should have seen my face:))) liiiike whaaaat the heeeelll waaaaas thaaaaaaat, zombie bus?

I thought, that may be some coincidence, since while it was driving away it had not had any bus number on it and my bus will arrive shortly

well it had not!!!


I just don't get it, how the hell would I know, that the bus sleeping on the bus stop with no number whatsoever was my bus

why the hell was it parked there anyway?

why the hell public transport here act like the gods of the roads ignoring passengers?

why the hell do I pay thaaaaaat much for the service, that treats me like shit???

I don't like it

I don't understand it

and I do think about writing one hell of an angry letter to the bus service provider charging that much for no respect for me as a client

that is not acceptable

you should feel bad, HSL

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Marry me!

so today I was in some thrift shop looking for a lamp

and found an island of cheap used books

got the lamp, but at least an hour I spent just in the book section


I get too excited when I see books

when I was paying for my books : Arthur C Clarke "The other side of the sky", Crichton "Timeline", then "Avaruus" and "Fundamentals of physics" the lovely cashier guy told me "Good books!!!" and I thought "Marry me!!!" but out loud I obviously said "Thank you" :) see, I'm getting better with my stalking attitude:)

anyways, now I have big books to read  while playing games with my mind imagining the Universe:)

and that is awesome:)

Do I think that he is extremely stupid?


riding like that without caring about anything and then losing his leg, well that's his fault only

and I do think that he must pay huuuuge amount of money to that driver, imagine you diving peacefully to your work and booooom some idiot out of nowhere riding under your wheels, I'm pretty sure that driver now has some serious mental problems, seeing that moment over and over again in his dreams

do I think, that he is extremely handsome man even without a leg?


and I'm talking about this:

yeah, I know, not my usual choice of music, but I loooooooooooooooooooooove that song

and I'm slowly starting to realize, that my only criteria "must be brave" is the right one

imagine some other guy getting in that accident, who just sit in his wheelchair complaining about his life, what will you feel? only pity for him

but not for Kurt, even though I think it was his fault only, I do find him super mega attractive, may be because that video shows how to fight for your life and be brave no matter what, and having some physical disorder is not an excuse for having a miserable life of regrets and complaints

you go, Kurt!

he is suuuuuuuuch aaaaa haaaaaaaandsooooooome maaaaaaaaaan

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Money change everything and everyone

today my player decided to remind me one old song, that I loved some time ago

B.o.B - Ghost In The Machine

he is one of the biggest music disappointments I had ever experienced

he had soooooo many good songs in his early album but then fame and money hit him and he sold his talent out

and now he is just another rap crap singing about guns, druugs, money and girls

I don't understand that well enough, but it is truly sad thing, that he turned into such a money whore of his latest songs:

I usually don't wish those kind of things, but dear Bobby Ray, I hope you will get broke and lose all of your so called rapper friends, may be then you will remember how to write good songs

I miss you


what I love about Train band is that they have healthy sense of humor


I love those kind of songs

easy words with catchy music and positive feeling


what I don't love - is mermaids, I really do not understand who the heck would love to see half fish half human creature, that's just...wrong

mermaids are only good for cartoons

pa ra ra ra pa pa rararara

Monday, August 5, 2013


some songs never get old

have this song all day in my head:)

a little toooooooo ironic

How do people make new friends?

That's a question bothering me

I am not studying now, nor do I attend any courses or trainings

so here is the question: how to people make new friends?

I need a Finnish friend

to go to the hockey games with him/her

may be I should look for friends just on the hockey games

I need to find my team first, since Antero is not playing anymore, and TPS is no longer an option

Espoo Blues or some Helsinki team

that's a question to think about
but then again, what the eff am I thinking about

Espoo Blues it is!

my new Finnish hockey team:)

now I need to find friends

Jokes I do not get

My perfect partner was stolen from me and replaced with another one for one week

in the next week I most likely will finally meet my long-term buddy, with whom we are going to build a railroad

but they reeeeally should not given me the perfect man to start working in the company, now everybody seems not so good

oh, I already miss my Rubik's cube man

but that's okay

what is not okay, that the man I'm going to work this week has a sense of humor I don't really get

I get like half of his jokes and find another half extremely abusive

he speaks only Finnish with me and after my perfect partner that was a little bit hard to concentrate on translating the words in my head in any language I know and then reply something back

I realize, that I seem like a slow person, but I won't apologize for that, it is how I learn language

I do not understand like 75% of what he is saying and that's okay, I will gather those words soon and it won't be a problem

but one joke that he told me, I did not quite understand was it a joke or an insult

he said: "why did your teacher teach you only half of words?"

I don't know, it doesn't look like a joke to me, more like insult and in a very bad way

for a moment I thought screw it, I am going home

but then again, I will finally learn the language, and he still will have extremely bad sense of humor

I never had problems with Estonian people in that way, when I was starting to learn the language everybody was polite and there were never problems with me responding slowly and not grammatically correct and here is a surprise for you, Jana, try feeling humiliating in Finland

Don't you think I know myself, that my Finnish sucks yet?

I have only 4 days left with them


Things I do not like about public transport in Helsinki

besides the horrifying cost of tickets

is that every bus has that kind of display board, where they write time, bus line and bus stops

but in Finland it is more a question of luck

so far more than half of the trips I had consisted of staring out of the window, trying to read the name of the next stop

the board was on its place, but the only information it had was "Hyvää matkaa"

like, okay, thanks for wishing me good ride, but it would be so much more useful to actually read the name of the next bus stop there:)

it annoys me more than I would like to admit


Old ugly lady

remember I told you that I am going to die this year?

last week I saw one sign, that it might be true

no, it were not shadows of the men standing behind me

aim higher:)

so I was sleeping in my super comfy bed (note to self: to get a normal pillow and aaaaany sort of a blanket, AAANYYYYYY) and I heard a door opened


I live alone and I am the only one who has the keys to the door, imagine my wtf look, when I heard it

then I saw an old lady in grayish/blackish clothes walking towards me, smiling creepy and holding her hands in front of me, that was the moment I realized, I'm sleeping, but it was that awful kind of dream, that I had not had in many years, when you fell every touch like if it was real, but you can not move your body even for a bit

last time I saw it, it was me, sitting on my legs, looking creepy and after that I had some problems with my health that I do not want to discuss, and my evil-me was just sitting there

this time that old ugly lady come to me and started to choke me

and I feeeeeeeelt that sooooooo real, I literally couldn't breath and felt that something is holding my throat

but wanna know what was on my mind?

"I ain't gonna die in not even my own bed, bitch, come back when I am home"

believe it or not, but after that she went away and I was able to control my body again

I hate being bit weird, but I did some research and there are actually plenty of people, who have the similar dreams, so I am mentally stable, it is not some psych disorder

but it worries me a bit, what may happen next

I'm not trying to be overly dramatic, but just in case please remember: burn me, do not put me in the ground, burn me



or I will come back as a ghost and will hunt you all down, and you know, I can be pretty much super annoying:)

and just to add a little joke here, later the same day I almost got hit by.....Police car:))))) I know, I just do that sort of things, I am very thankful to that old man, who stopped me, thank you! Most likely you saved my life!

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Ol' good times

when people didn't have plenty of smartphones and laptops and the internet on the ships was fast, since only few people used it

but not nooooow

now everyone has some device with Internet and the connection on the ships now is slower than the way I eat

and those who met me, know, that I always eat like a sloth:)

talking about sloths

you're welcome:
how can you possibly not like those animals? :)

he is like I'm fluffy puffy piece of happiness, but be careful, he has claws as well:)

anyway, posting this picture here took me 30 minutes, like a modem connection:)

I'm currently half way back to Finland and I'm somehow not even thaaaaat sad leaving Estonia


you know what?

lets send each other paper cards!!!