Tuesday, April 30, 2013

And Jana is always smiling

said woman from our Finnish language courses group as I was entering the room

and I am indeed always smiling

which is weird, because in my family I have a reputation of always being angry and mean

I can't explain that, but it is always easy for me to get angry around the people I love, rather than the people I barely know

it seems to me that is some sort of my insecurity issue, because I got hurt multiply times just from the people I love

may be it is stuck in my brain, that the moment I stop liking one person and start loving him/her I subconsciously assume, that soon I will get betrayed and therefore I stop being lovely and smiley and start being angry and mean

but you should not let the past define your present and future

I will work on that


you know

kings don't have insecurities :)

queens must probably do, but it is a good thing to choose being The King:)))

*and I should stop saying, that I'm The King


I wanna be friends with them

they look so lovely


Monday, April 29, 2013

Heard the song on the radio just now

and although I had already killed your ears, I will offer you another good old song

Angels and Airwaves - Surrender

It's well known that we have a fragile heart that's deep inside
It has a sound that you can follow
You feel like you hit a wall, but you survived
And it was hard for you to swallow
I've been to that place before
In spite of luck, and you awake a new tomorrow
Favorite song from Love album: Epic Holiday

Let's start a riot
Nobody's right
Nobody's wrong
Life's just a game
It's just one epic holiday
Favorite song from I-Empire: Call to arms

Favorite song from We Don't Need To Whisper: Do it for me now

But the one thing that I can most willingly prove
That when you are gone I'll be fine without you

and the favorite song from all of the albums is obviously The Adventure:

My dearest friends,
Even if your hope has burned with time,
Anything that's dead shall be re-grown,
And your vicious pain, your warning sign,
You will be fine.
and look at 03:04-03:14 moment the way he moves, I always do the exact same moves when I hear that song


even right now:)))

Like every single tree reach for the sky


Tattoos that should be prohibited

I'm pretty chatty today:)

let's talk about tattoos one more time

I love tattooed people, men especially

I love looking at tattoos and thinking what kind of story does the owner wanna tell

but there are several times, when I think: oh, man, you should think about laser removal

I really haaaaaaaaate when some skinny boy with extremely pale skin has a huuuuge tattoo

like this one:

every time I see those kind of men with tattoos every single time I wanna tell then: stop smoking and grow some muscles, because you probably are not able to even hold a heavy hammer in your arms that are as thin as mine

like cooooooome ooooooon

the body of some junkie drunkie straight out of the prison, the right to make tattoos should be taken away from the masters who do that to those thin souls, that happened to be in the male body

but the biggest turn off for me are biceps tattoos

this must me a rule:
Biceps tattoos are the most ugliest tattoos ever, you should not have them
For me somehow that tattoos are linked with hookers and criminals

all those wires:

all those meaningless tribal:

or lone wolves, lions, tigers, scorpions etc:
I simply do not understand it

upper arm is like the most illogical place to make a tattoo on


it looks like you stole somebody's arm and attached it to your own body

I think those kind of tattoos are ugly and they are ruining the symmetry of your body

That is my personal opinion and most likely there are some really good tattoos on the biceps, that I simply had not seen yet

and there is the trick part

I hate biceps tattoos, but I looooooooove tattoo sleeves:

and you definitely may say, that wtf, biceps tattoos are illogical and ruin the symmetry, and whole sleeve is super mega awesome?


it just is so:)

with the only tattoo on the arm, it looks like somebody just made your arm dirty, but with the whole sleeve, it looks like a complete story

and I happen to love complete stories that you may even continue to tell on the other parts of your body:)

The day I stopped fighting

I am stubborn and persistent

and being rejected by a man was a harsh hit on my self confidence

and although I have close to none feelings left for him I still talk to him almost every day

and he always answers me, he always cares about me, but it looks like he is scared to death getting a little bit closer to me

today was the day the stubborn me left me

I was writing about my friend sending me a text at 5 AM congratulating my team for winning the last game

I told him that and he said, that "well, you have somebody else to talk about hockey, and I have only you" and those meaningful dot dot dooooooot

he wrote something else, and he decided that the friend was the male friend, when actually friend was Helen the girl with whom I watched the game in Stockholm

and I remembered the picture I had seen on 9gag

here it is:

I never liked Milhouse but I realized, that for that man, I am Milhouse

he doesn't want to be with me and he gets somehow jealous every time I talk something about men

and the King Jana in me told me, that "listen, girl, I know you tried that multiply times, but if you won't stop running after that man, I will leave you, and you will be back to being ugly, miserable and weak"

aaaand I decided that King Jana (although currently being Hobo King Jana, but still the King) is more important to me than that man

consider this my official statement:

The King Jana declares that she had lost the war for the man she loved and will no longer be running after him with the hopes that he finally understands how impossibly good we could had been together. I lost the war. I won't be starting the new one. I was weak. I am sorry.

that is why 28th of April will be the day I stopped fighting


Sunday, April 28, 2013

You are so special

"you think that you are"

some songs are so underrated that it makes me sad

so if because of me a little more people will know about them, that would be great:)

let me introduce you one old song : Vibrolush - Special


There's a little part of me in you, I've seen it before
I can see it in your eyes, and I don't like what I see in your eyes
As it stares me down
And sister, sister, where do I go, inside outside, or all around me I said

Hey, now, now
Hey now, you're so special
You think that you are,
Hey now, now, hey now, you're so special
Like a bright shining star, you are

When you look at yourself in the mirror, like the princess you are
As you walk across the room, and no one seems to care about the way
That your hair is down
And teacher, teacher, where do I go, inside outside, or all around I said

Hey, now, now
Hey now, you're so special
You think that you are
Hey now, now, hey now, you're so special
Like a bright shining star, you are

You're  so special, so, so special
And you're so special, so, so special

Hey, now, now
Hey now, you're so special
You think that you are
Hey now, now, hey now, you're so special
Like a bright shining star, you are

I have a tendency to think, that I'm sort of special

that song somehow brings me down to Earth:)

do I still think that I am the most awesome person in the whole Universe? Absolutely:) but I try not to show that:)

but you should know, deep down inside of me I think people should play this song each time I enter the room:

yeap, Here comes The King is the name of that song:)

and even now, when I had not the most accurate haircut and currently looking like a hobo, because my hair just won't lay down as I want it, even now, that would be great it you will mentally play that song each time you see Hobo The King :) I meant Jana The King


I need to listen to Special song:))) I am having another ego boost moment:)

and the last song I dedicate to my friend Marina!

it will hunt you down!


buhgaaaaaaalter, milii moi buhgaaaaalter


you are welcome and you have my permission to hate me:)

Wagon wheel and lack of hats

I told you many times before that I have a redneck in me:)

and I love country

and despite the fact, that I already had posted this song multiply times I will do that again

and again

and again

and again


you can sue me for raping your ears with that song;

such a handsome man he is, with a die for voice

heeeeeeeeeeeeeey, momma roooooock meeeeeee

that is my favorite song for quite a long time now:)

at least I will die freeeeeeeeeee

and now I have a question: why did men stop wearing fedora hats?

seriously, why?

go and buy it now!!!


it looks soooooooooo masculine, like overly manly man:)

I do not talk about hipsters now, who wear anything they find interesting, those thin boys with no physical strength whatsoever, may wear those super mega awesome hats and still look like coat hanger


I am talking about this:

roooooock me momma

One tattoo and the power of imagination

I have three small tattoos

and one hell of a good imagination:)

here is my favorite tattoo:

simple snowflake, that was hard to tattoo because it is very thin

simple black tattoo

but let me show you what I see every time I look at it

I'm sorry for my drawing abilities, because I have it close to none:)

first of all, for me it is not a black snowflake, I see it colorful:

three colors, where the most dark one is in the center

I am thinking about getting another bigger snowflake when I will be 30-37 on the same hand, only colorful in real

so, that was color

secondly, it is not only a snowflake

it is also a poinsettia flower (a.k.a christmas flower)

here is the flower:

and here is my tattoo:

does it look like a flower? absolutely!

and the third option is spider net with 6 angry spiders hunting the good guy in the middle:

do you see it now?

it is only the matter of imagination

I have one:)

and every simple thing for me is not defined completely

I can look at it in many different ways

sometimes it is good, but most of the times I over think things:)

and it is not good

but it is more interesting to live like that:)

And I died just a little inside

last night was a tough night for Columbus Blue Jackets fans

three team for two spots for playoffs

Detroit 54, Minnesota 53, Columbus 53 and each team has one more game left

and each of them won

Detroit vs Dallas 3:0

Minnesota vs Colorado 3:1

and my boys Columbus vs Predators 3:1

and in the end we had  Detroit 56, Minnesota 55, Columbus 55

it is understandable with  Detroit, that they are in the playoffs, but my boys and Koivu boys had exact same points

and we did not make it


because when the teams have same points it is all going to tiebreaking procedures:
1. The greater number of games won. Starting in the 2010-11 NHL season, shootout wins are not included in the tie-breaking procedure.
2. The greater number of points earned in games between the tied clubs.
3. The greater differential between goals for and against during the entire regular season
and my boys are known for winning the game in SO

seriously, I wanted to cry, when it was all counted

we were sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo close to the playoffs :(

we played so great after changing our team so much

we played without our coward captain bear nash

and we still managed to rise from the very bottom to try reaching the very top

I love Mikko Koivu, but today I hate him for giving us hope after their loss to Oilers and then suddenly winning Colorado

I love you, Columbus Blue Jackets!

I will always believe in you!

and I know, that we will win Stanley Cup!

Thank You!





Thursday, April 25, 2013


I seriously don't understand people, who hunt only because they wanna kill something

or get beautiful fur

just look at those bears

how can you possibly kill somebody who can look at you like that?

and I knoooow, now you are going to tell me, that "wait till it attacks you in the forest, then you won't be so in love with them"

but you should understand the difference between self defense and killing for pleasure or fur

how can you kill somebody who has intelligence:

who can hold the food with two paws:

who can play with their bros:

who can interact with the parents:

and who can look straight into your soul:
seriously, that picture scared me a bit, just look at him, he is like the north version of the gorillas

looks like human, but is not

and yes, if I had seen that in the forest, I would run aways screaming "I FOUND YETI!!!"


and here is the dancing one:

so once again, how can you hunt them?

adore them!


the country I wanna visit

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Suddenly I'm no longer white

it is not, that I had changed my skin color over the night


it is just because I had noticed, that I'm in no way can be called white, because I'm more like a reddish or pinkish person

and every northern countries man is not white as well

just look at your arms right now

I'm pretty sure what you see may not be identified as a white color, but more like pink or red

do they have that specific color for describing our skin tone?

it is kinda fun to look at your own skin color, because it can change from pale white to bright red or even blueish when you are extremely cold


we are not white, but rainbow people:)

not like gay pride rainbow, but like rainbow rainbow

look at this picture:

only clothes are white

and yes, if to compare us with the black people, we surely are white, but if you compare us with Japanese people, then we are pink

skin color definition is only the matter of relativity

Hello, rainbow people from the North!


Monday, April 22, 2013

I should start to think off the ways to get prince Harry

because that man is just my kind of man

you know

the brave one

he is going to Antarctica

the place I always wanted to go

the place I sent several cv's to

am I jealous? absolutely!

am I mad? not at all:) happy for him:)

at least some men are still brave:)

no, not brave, but Brave:)

and he is such a handsome man toooooo

good luck, Harry!

The Royal We

How many times do you wanna die?


I especially love 2:30-3:40 part

Misery inspires

I do not think so, but it seems like if it is so


Sunday, April 21, 2013

Songs about broken hearts must be like this one

I love it

love it love it love it:)))

depressing songs about broken hearts must be banned, because if you feel sad, it is not right and you should not do that

listen to Michael:)

and smile with him

say hello to the new opportunities!



Leader of the Broken Hearts

the title of the song caught my attention

why had I not think about that before

I should have my own little army of broken hearted girls:)

thaaaat would be greeeat

and I was surprised to know, that Papa roach still exists, I thought their lead singer would had been long time on rehab, but seems, that they are doing well, having new album too

Congrats to Papa

and let me just remind you some of their brilliant songs:

...To Be Loved

still know the lyrics:)))


I could had posted their famous Last Resort, the song that probably skyrocketed them to the top, but youtube version of it is censured and without "fuck" word, that song feels like stuttering man singing

 I, personally, heard of Papa Roach when I heard Between Angels And Insects

my first Papa's song :)

and I still love it:

and I miss that look, like come oooon, now he looks like some drug queen with all of those clothes and make up, just look at him when he was young, simple black clothes, that look appropriate

whaaat, I love men wearing black:)

but, even though, Last Resort and Insects were their biggest hits back then, my favorite song always was this one:

Time And Time Again

that was my favorite song on their tape:)

and loooooook at thoooose caaaaaaaaaars

just loooooooooooooook at thoooooooooooooooooooose caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaars



lets talk about death today

I do not understand why people are so afraid of this topic

when  was talking to my family about what funeral I wanna have they were all saying to me "sssshhhhhh, don't talk about that!!!"


I wanna have my last way the way I wanna have it

so just in case I get hit by a car tomorrow and die, please be kind, and tell this information to my family

if they don't wanna hear it, I will type it:)

the first and the most important one: I do not want to be buried

first of all, I hate insects and I will never accept the fact, that there will be worms eating my flesh, so I understand why you wanna have our family place in the graveyard, but I will skip that part, because I can stand that thought of slowly decomposing in the mud


let me repeat that


and just to make it completely understandable I want my remains to be burned in fire

I guess every person have that fear of being buried alive

and when there is only your ashes left, you definitely won't wake up in the coffin deep down in the soil

so yeah, burn me



not now, but when I'm dead :)

then I don't want my ashes to be kept on some shelf

of buried in the ground

nay, I want you to dispel the ashes, the sooner the better

you see, I don't believe in paradise and shit like that, but I do believe, that every tiny atom of my dead body will be a part of something new, and when you are buried, that would take a lot of time a little options

my wish is to be dispelled over the sea, forest and the rest from the highest point of the country I die, yeah, that would take some action from you, but then again you will have time to say goodbye to me while driving to those places:)

what else

lets see, I want the cheapest coffin possible and if it is possible, then I would prefer not to be cremated in the coffin

I would like you to listen to the music I love while you will be busy doing all those preparation

as for now, I want to listen to Rise Against and Savior to be the main song, because it is my favorite song

1000 miles away
There's nothing left to say
But so much left that I don't know
We never had a choice
This world is too much noise
It takes me under
It takes me under once again

and you can put  "We never had a choice" as my last line:)

it would mean lot to me, if you try to listen only to happy songs that day

like this one:

because although I would be dead by then, I don't want to hear the sad songs, because I won't be sad when I die

just remember, that I always wanted to die, since the time I got ill

and even though it would be hard for you, you can be sure, that I'm the happiest set of atoms ready to be finally free

and when you dispel me, you probably will hear I'M FREEEEEE and every part of me will transform into billion of new things:)

you may think you will meet me in hell, but I prefer to think of death like as billion new variations of life:) I love when it is windy outside, because I feel like that wind is tearing me apart into something new

and when I die, I will be finally able to do that:)

do not cry for me, but you can surely miss me

so yeah, I'm that awesome, that I can plan my own funeral:)

don't worry, I won't kill myself, that is just in case anything happens


I wanna have the greatest last way possible:)

Friday, April 19, 2013

I love Simon Baker

in a good healthy way:)

he is adorable

his hair is adorable

his glasses are adorable

and his family is adorable as well:)

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Blue Whale

I always knew that blue whale is the largest animal on planet Earth

but somehow I never knew, that it is the largest animal EVER lived on Earth


I always knew, that it is about 30m long and I also always thought, that, pfff, 30m is like the shortest distance we run in PE

But it somehow never occurred to me, that it is THIRTY METERS long and not like some worm-like, but wide and heavy and long :

now I have a new dream: I wanna see it live

imagine that huge animal swimming in the sea under your ship

and your ship is somewhat the same size or even shorter:)))

how great would that be

imagine swimming next to the blue whale

that must be one hell of experience

like a submarine, only that you can't predict which way and how fast will it be going


and imagine how it moves in the water, it is not some metal tube with generators

mighty animal

I wanna see it live

so would you be so kind and stop killing them?