Sunday, December 29, 2013

Atheists celebrate winter holidays too

just not the Christmas :)

or Hanuka

or anything like that

New Year, we celebrate the beginning of New Year :)

here is my room

filled with light

I think it came out good this year:)

Happy holidays!!!

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Joseph Wright

I don't like paintings and I believe, that arts are way overrated, mostly because I find it useless and not bringing any sort of meaning into the world

but I like some old paintings of nature, because it was in the time when no photography was yet invented and it was a good way to safe information

today while reading some smart ass book, I found a picture of Joseph Wright (which you can see one post below) and I somehow got connected with it

Therefore, dear John Constable, you are no longer alone in my brain in the section of favorite artists


Joseph Wright of Derby makes you a company now

If I were born in 1750's

I would definitely become an alchemist:)

Joseph Wright "The Alchemist in Search of the Philosopher's Stone"

I would probably be a bearded man wearing black coats:)

but I do think, that it is indeed possible to turn some regular metal into gold (I don't like gold, though, and I think it looks bad and it feels bad), nevertheless I would spent most of my life trying to find out how to change metals into something more expensive

I find it interesting

it is like being a wizard, and yes, I do believe in what is now called "magic", I am sure, it is some sort of physics, that we just forgot

maybe I should get some Basic Chemistry Lab Equipment Kit :) just to start:)

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I'm sure you missed this song

if everything goes according to my evil plan, based on my calculations of the times this video was posted here you must already know the lyrics of the song and started somehow like it


I still love it and I'm pretty sure it will stay like that until the end of time:)

In Helsinki I once was in the metro with the same polar bear:)he was just casually sitting in the metro train, you know, trying to be like other people:) I love metro:) I love trains:) I love polar bears:)

and here is yet another brilliant song from Rise Against

I have one hell of a good imagination, so I paint pictures of the song lyrics in my head

try to paint it in your mind:
Take a breath and explode like bullets tearing through the wind
do you still wonder why I love them so much?:)

The amount of pictures of prince Harry on my desktop

is too damn high!!!

therefore I am going to share my treasure with you:)

and yes

I'm jealous of him

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Men in black coats

is my weakness:)

bald men is my weakness

bearded men is my weakness

men that look like homeless is my weakness

brave men is my weakness

thats why this is perfect music video:


they both are soooooo handsome

soooooooooooo handsome

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

And I dance with your ghost

I love the lyrics of this song soooooooooooooooooo much

I wanna write something happy

but I can't :)

I now don't wanna leave this place

I feel comfortable here

I don't feel weirdo here, I feel normal

I love watching hockey at evenings

I love working in AIP-Mittaus

I definitely like gorgeous Finnish men

I like me being here

being free

what I won't miss is obviously the public transport

and food

and Muslim people


I prefer snowy white Estonia:)

I am going to miss this place

but maybe I will come back

who knows:)

Sunday, November 24, 2013


I'm going to hear this beautiful music live:


Thursday, November 14, 2013

The headache is back


I did not miss that at all

but today I even had not gone to work, because I woke up with the old good die hard headache

the one that you can't kill even using multiply 1000mg paracetamol pills


that is the strongest ones that you can get without prescription

my friend, who is doctor, said to me, that 800 is more than enough to kill even the strong toothache

well apparently my brain is a tricky bitch


don't know what to do

hope that by tomorrow it will stop

Monday, November 11, 2013

Ólafur Arnalds

Icelandic people have some magnificent music

lots of it

silent melancholy

exactly what I need right now

Harry Potter no more


helloooooo cutie pie

Sunday, November 10, 2013

There is a reason for using yellow lights

you know

those ones:
but apparently drivers here in Finland prefer to ignore it

especially public transport drivers

like coooome oooon, tram number 9, you are going from the harbor and you have looooots of people with heavy baggage balancing on that little tiny space that they have

why the hell would you hit the brakes so suddenly and unexpected all the time next to traffic lights? Do you or do you not know the meaning of yellow light?

once again, I admit: I hate public transport here, most of the drivers need to take extra courses which could teach him how to operate a big vehicle with lots of passengers

but not all of the public transport

I still have a huge crush on trains:)

and one time there was super mega awesome driver in the tram number 9 as well

while riding he talked which tram stop do passengers need to use if they want to go to Kamppi or to bus station or to railroad station, that was the example of a good driver for the tram line that comes from the harbor!

but as for the rest of the drivers:

learn what yellow light means!!!!!

Saturday, November 9, 2013


you can take this picture:

and it will describe me perfectly


you just sit and think: "well, what now"

and you have no answer

and you don't really need that answer

because deep down you know what you need to do

even if people think it is wrong

Friday, November 8, 2013

Icon for hire

my new music crush

I love those lines:
Are you scared you might open your mouth
And feel the horror if nothing comes out?
Do you think you're safe, frozen in place?
Run for cover just in case

I am not afraid to fall
You can watch me lose it all
I'll get it wrong, 'til I get it right
At least I'm making scenes in the meantime
aaaaand these, especially these:
No time left to play it safe, no time to bend
The worst mistake you'll ever make is trying to blend 
they also have slow songs, which you may classify as sad songs:

Try as I might to keep it together
Why is recovery taking forever
Fool the whole world, just until I get better
I'm terrified I'll be faking forever 

Every scar one day will heal
Every tear one day will dry 

If you're obsessed with your yesterday then you're destined to repeat it 
yes, the last line is in bold, so much I love it

it rarely happens, but I really do like the whole album

I have only two songs, that I'm not a big fan of, but the album is greeeeeeat

I need to find it in the music store to buy it

I'm going back home in less than a month


since it is slow time here now with not so much work I decided to go back home earlier, because my boss told me, that they like me, but I need to get driver's license if I want to stay with them

so I'm taking two months off to start my battle with the doctors again

this time it will be different, because I now know, that sugar blood people actually get licenses here in Estonia, and it is because my family doctor is such a coward, that she is too afraid to write me that damned health paper

therefore I will go to her one more time and if she will reject my request again I will change my doctor and i will continue changing my doctors until I find the one, who actually understands that numbers in the book may differ from numbers in reality and it doesn't mean, that I'm dying

I hope I will be able to do that in two months, because I really love my job and I kinda excited to finally work alone

so, my dear Estonian friends

I will be back in December!


I miss you all!!!

It is hockey night tonight

well not tonight

a week ago I was most happiest girl on planet Earth

oh that time when I was happy and believed that love exists

stupid naive jerk I was


went to the hockey game

and we won 3:0

over HIFK or as I understood, Finns use short version of the whole name and it is IFK

yeah, bitches

Espoo blues rocks

I was so excited that I had not took any photos

I was so exited, that I went sleeping with the smile and I woke up with even bigger smile

it was happy Friday


and there will be more happy Fridays because I am planning to visit as many games as I can



what I didn't like is that people there eat....popcorn! they eat popcorn like if it is some sort of show


not hockey show, for evolution's sake

and they really, really, really need to watch old good Boston Bruins hockey rules videos

especially this one:

and I literally was sitting with a brochure with the team players' names trying to remember everyone


I have my favorite player now

guess who is he?

yes, you are right:) of coooourse it is our goalie

there is a special place in my heart for goaltenders

meet Espoo Blues' goaltender: Jani Nieminen

Espoo Blues!


but to make it clear

my team is still Columbus Blue Jackets

and it will always remain so


I will always pick Columbus over Blues



I do not believe in love anymore.

the title of the post says it all

I'm done

there is no love

Friday, October 25, 2013

Ready set roll

I'm in a bad mood today, so I may sound a little bit depressive

so here is one warm song:

We are meaningless

the longer I live, the more I'm getting sure, that life is just a joke with no meaning

completely pointless

as for now my point of view on Universe is like this:

the Universe is multiverse with infinite number of the same Universes, but with different variations of the same event, no matter how small that event was

in addition to multiverse, there is one hyper sized universe, that consists of infinite number of  multiverse

therefore, we are pointless

we are just like leptons in terms of real size of the hyper sized universe

and our own universe is like an atom in terms of  real size of the hyper sized universe

everything is not important for anything

it just does not really matter

so whats the point of everything?

of waking up every single day?

of hoping for the better times?

life is just a joke of nature

and now I wanna find where the real important things begin

and I will find it

because I can


the song that makes me wanna cry

a lot

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

I'm going to the hockey game!!!


November 1st :)

Espoo Blues vs HIFK

decided, that what the eff, I'm living here for three months and still had not been to any hockey game

yeah, yeah, same old story, was waiting until one certain man will ask me out

well, I'm too old to wait for anybody now:)


and I am pretty sure I will be going to the games much more often now:)

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Hart of Dixie is back!!!

my sweet lovely Hart of Dixie is back

so I can feel myself like if I'm living in Bluebell:)

with lots of handsome men, lots of beautiful women and lots of lovely stories:)

aaaand country music:)

did I already mentioned county music?


love it


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Why do people hate Shyamalan?

I do not understand that

they are not like "we don't like your movies", they literally are "we hate you" kind of people

and the worst part is that they really mean it

they post negative comments, negative reviews, they even make videos, where they discuss how much they hate M Night Shyamalan

so, if you ever doubt your talent

I write it one more time:

Dear M. Night Shyamalan, I love you and your work! I find your movies extremely intriguing and my brain that you for the way you make it work! Thank you!

I already posted multiply times the trailers of Signs, Village, The Happening and After Earth, so here is another movie from Shyamalan: Devil

I do not like horror movies, but Devil is definitely my favorite one:)

I should make Shyamalan's movie night when I come back home for holiday:)

Sunday, October 13, 2013

I'm not ashamed

I love tv-shows about school life

I just do

my most favorite one is british Some girls

it is just sooooo stupid and soooooo funny, that I can't stop singing their theme song:)

and you definitely may think, that I'm stupid or something like that

but then again

I have no desire to prove to you, that I'm smart ass:)

I just will continue singing this song in my head:

I really do try, I really do try, I really do tryyyyyy


Why do I always choose wrong kind of man?

it kinda irritates me

sometimes I think, that I do it on purpose, because I simply don't wanna be happy

but then again

I'm happy most of the times even when I am in love with the wrong kind of man

I kill it with me being too pushy

if I like somebody, I say it right away and that most likely scares the men to the death:)

I tried to be ignorant

I tried to be silent and cold

iiiit juuuust doooooes nooooot work with me

I always think, that life is way too short to spend it on the games people play

I suppose I got it from my mom and dad

when my mom met my dad, she was just divorced and had a daughter (not to mention she is 9 years older than my dad), and she told him right away all of that and that she likes him, so he had to decide whether he wants to continue the relationship


my dad is as awesome as my mom

and despite all the negative talks that they heard at the beginning, after all of these years they are still happily married:)

I'm awesome as well, so if a man can't accept the fact that I say what I feel and think, and it scares him, well, then he is just not my kind of man

but hey, they are all still good people, because there were good reasons why I liked them:)

I already have my wrong kind of man in Finland, so now I can look for "myyyyyy kind of tooooown, Chicaaaaago is"

this time with "blue eyes"


Becoming a man

on Thursday I caught myself sitting eating lunch on the street, while wearing my working clothes, having messy hair and reading hockey magazine


that was my breaking point

when did I become a man?

so on Friday, I curled my hair into girlie hair style and after work was reading girlie magazines


my  injection of girlie-ness helped, so yesterday I baked a bread

yup, I baked my own bread and I looooooved it


I will continue being super girlie for several days and then I will try to find an appropriate balance


Saturday, October 12, 2013

Tragic Empire

I knew Ra band yeeeeeears ago

and like always, I thought that they are no longer making music

I was wrong again, because they just had preeeettttyyyyy good album

in case you find the album art very familiar, but can't remember where you seen it, I can help you

that is my favorite dontknowhowmanytimeswatched movie Sunshine:

I still wonder does Boyle know about the Ra band using his movie still picture


The next biathlon star

is baaaaack as well

I was 24 when I decided to be a biathlon athlete

I am 27 now and I still can't ski or shoot


thats not good:)

but I do have some more money now

so the plan is back

I'm gonna be the oldest new biathlon star:)

Guess what?

I'm back


I kinda hated this place, but today I read some of my old posts and decided that it is indeed a good place to keep my memories and thoughts

some of them were heart breaking

most of them were funny

and all of those plans I had, that never become real

but I'm still alive

and therefore I still have some time to make those plans real

after all, I'm working in geodesy again and living in Finland:) that was not my plan

but you can't plan everything

one thing I know for sure

I need to add more photos here

I should find my Leica

Thursday, September 26, 2013

They want me to do what???

pay 500 eur

aaand 500 more


1000 EUR

for what?

to became DNA mobile phone service user


you read it right

they want 1000 to be reserved for them on my bank account TO BECAME THEIR CLIENT AND PAY THEM EVERY MONTH

I just don't get services there

I want to be your client

you have to give me presents and stuff so that I would stay with you, use your services and pay you every month

instead they want me to pay instantly some beyond logic sum of money, so that they agree to take me as their client

how the hell is that even possible

yeah, I don't have a permanent residence here, but we are in the EU and I have a working contract in Finland, what do you think I will escape to Africa, so that I won't pay you those 20 eur a month for your services???

I was shocked when I read the letter

I am now looking for mobile service operator who will take me with my DNA prepaid number and won't ask for 1000 euros

I hope to save my current number

I wish I had done it earlier

but now it is my work number and it would cause a lot of troubles to change it

but, dear DNA, do you hear me? I WILL CHANGE IT if I won't find any other option

I am just shocked

client services here are "super mega awesome"

first the bank (I'm still waiting for Internet banking approval), then buses (I'm still waiting for them to drive according to schedule), and now mobile service provider with some out of space requirements

I don't get it

Sunday, September 22, 2013

My new love

Anneke van Giersbergen

and I can't write her name without using copy-paste


my favorite song so far is "She"

love her

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Just saying

For those about to rock




two wins in two preseason games:)


get ready for the new season

We Will Win it:)

My lower body double

that is strange, when you get attached to somebody just because you have something similar

for me it is Lady Gaga

because I really think that my lower part of body is pretty much exactly the same as hers

the waistline and down to the ancles

we have the same hardly manageable belly and slightly bigger legs and wonderful waistline

but I do have completely different upper body

nevertheless, now I feel strangely connected to Lady Gaga and I get defensive when somebody says something bad about her

I do not like her songs

but I always say something good about her


you know

she is my lower body double:)

The Frozen Ground

as you know I'm not a big fan of movies

but I somehow like John Cusack even though he has plenty of bad movies

I noticed Cusack in Identity:

if you like movies with a mystery and a twist I strongly recommend watching that movie

and I felt in love with John after 1408

basically the whole movie is Cusack character and while watching it in the theater I never wanted to leave for buying Cola light and that means a lot

but then I watched some of his movies and was so disappointed in his choice of roles, that I stopped following the upcoming movies

yesterday I saw The frozen ground

yeah, with my another love Nicolas Cage

who has the same history for acting in really bad movies

reeeeeally bad movies

so Nicolas and John have that in common

I would not say, that The frozen ground is disastrous

it is more "meh, okay movie"

but I do think, that plot has some big holes, that operators work could have been so much better with the nature that Alaska has and I do think, that they could have add 20 more minutes to play it more personally

it is like my blogging

cropped sentences after cropped sentences

the movie is like cropped scene after cropped scene put together with a bad glue

Cusack is barely seen, Cage is barely seen, the main focus is on the whore and her hardly explainable actions

and I do not like when there are movies based on real events about criminals

it is like if you wanna add some glory to the killer by filming his actions

I find it disturbing

he killed them, put him into jail (or I would rather recommend death penalty) and forget him, do not make documentaries about him and definitely do not make movies about him keeping his life in history

I won't post his name here

but when I was watching the movie, in the final episode there was victims list and one name really stood out for me

P. Goulding and now I wonder, did she had some relatives with Ellie Goulding, or is this surname as popular as Miller?

and yes

I love Ellie

I want it

I want it

where can I get it?






what? I may be working in men industry, but I'm still a girl:)

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I finally found one driver I like

after weeks of getting angry at the bus stops since buses here arrive when they want to, not when they need to

and weeks of driving home in the busses, whose drivers doesn't care about driving carefully

after weeks of hating the public transport here in Helsinki I had finally found the driver I like!!!

today while getting back from the work (we finished the railroad, therefore for now I'm in Helsinki) some woman in expensive luxury car drive right in front of our bus not caring, that she can actually have her car wrecked and switching line right in front of buses is not very polite as well

our bus had to stop completely in order for her to fit her car in that little space

and our bus driver was furious, and I think he deserves some sort of award for what he did next

when the traffic started moving, he switched the lines and showed with the lights, that he wants to go back to the line that he just switched, right in front of that woman

she had no choice but to do that, and then our driver on the slowest speed possible started to drive back to that line

and it was reeeeeally slow and the woman had to wait, because she had no space to do anything

I hope that little trick will teach her a good lesson

do not disrespect other drivers and do not think that just because you have expensive car you have the right to drive where you want


I love Mars, but I don't like Bruno

I'm talking about Bruno Mars obviously

when he just came out I was kinda into his sad songs and thought that it is very lovely man who loved some woman very much

especially I liked The way you are song:

but then his hit single appeared on the radio

at the beginning I liked this song, but the more I listened to it, the more I realized that is a song of a very weak man


extremely weak man

as weak as I once was

holding for the love, who hadn't even needed me

so the more I listened the more I hated that song, like, thats some sort of a hymn for weak people looking for excuses for not letting go

boiling in their misery of past

while somebody close could had been your future

stop doing that

but then it got worse

the new songs, I still don't get it, how the eff are they so popular

sooooooo popular

I'm not gonna post it here, but turn on the radio and you will surely hear one of those in minutes

I don't know

now he sings about the love that he had not cherished and what mistakes he made

I can use word "karma" here, used to love a girl, who had not loved him back, now he had not loved another girl and she was apparently perfect for him

and here you go, another hymn for the past love
does he, like, collects them to write bad songs about?

dear people in toxic love, please, be reasonable and understand that drowning yourself in bad love just makes you miss the opportunity to be loved

stop wasting your time on somebody who doesn't want it

invest it in somebody who actually cares

My redneck in me and I dedicate this lovely song to all of my friends in need:

Darius Rucker - This

For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to

Russian song I really like

I do not wanna post the official video to this song, because it is circus themed and I really think circus is some wicked place to be

and the version of the song in that video differs a bit from the version that I love

here is the song:

lovely song with lovely voice and sad meaning

but I love it

Saturday, September 14, 2013

I feel homeless

I literally have three homes now:
  • Tallinn
  • Espoo
  • countless hotels
it tears me apart a bit

I feel, that my home is in Tallinn, my sleeping apartment is in Espoo and my working apartments are hotels

I feel homeless, because I do no know where I wanna be or where I am gonna be next week

we work way too fast, even though we try not to

I do not know how I will explain to my boss when I return next week, that we already finished another railroad

I just don't

and I still have no friends, because I do not have any permanent place to stay

I'm always on the go

and I would lie if I say that I hate it, I don't looooove it, but I like it

it helps me learning new things about Finland, see new places

so far I had been in Helsinki, Espoo, Vantaa, Tuusula, Kouvola, Mikkeli, Pieksämäki, Kuusankoski and Lahti

in Mikkeli I had tourist days as well, went to museums, saw things and churches

I have no idea where I am going to be next week

I just know I will try my best to find some hockey game, since SM-Liiga started this week

and I will try not to feel so lonely

because, hey! some people doesn't have even one home, while I have three!

Show me how to lie

you know that feeling when after yeeeears of not listening to some certain song you rediscover it

This week I have two those kind of songs

the first one is The Offspring - You're Gonna Go Far Kid

from the very first line lyrics are brilliant

I especially love "dance, fucker, dance" part:) it just creates a fine picture of people who lied to me in weird costumes, dancing like mad people

I love how my brain never fails to amaze me:)

and another song is Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight

the song that makes me smile:)

just try not to think how old you are, if you had seen that video on television when it just came out

we are noooot oooooold

we are just a lil older than some of the people:)

Once again

I'm not dead:)

I just somehow lost the connection to this place

and I promise I will try to establish it back

starting today:)

Saturday, September 7, 2013

If you are wondering

I'm not dead:)

I just forgot my computer charger and since stores here didn't have my kind of charger, I had not been able to be present here:)

but today I got it

and I am baaaaaack

and I'm pretty much alive:)

Monday, August 26, 2013


no comments

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Another station: another mile

once again, since I'm working on a railway road, I often have flashing words in my head

for the past three days it is: Another station, another mile

and I totally forgot, that I still had not had that DVD

I want Rise Against Another station: another mile DVD!!!

and if you for some reason wondering from what song they took that line "another station, another mile", then it is The Dirt Whispered


the song that always makes me smile:)

and just to remind me why I love them so much and why do I want that DVD:

Where is my own Tim?

Today was the spider's day

and yesterday was some ugly creepy insects' day

what am I talking about?

my working on the railway:)

I am working here for 1,5 weeks already, but the more further we go from Mikkeli, the more exited I get when I see all of those new insects

oh, wait, wrong word, not exited, scared to death! that's the right one

we already did 30km of it, in 6 working days


and add 30 more, because we walk forth and back as well

yes, I do have legs of top-model now:)

I do not mind working under the heavy rain, I do not mind having my legs wet all the time

I do not even mind walking on the railway track, at least now I know, that surveyor's best friend is ASPHALT!!!!!

I get some sort of mental excitement, when after the working day I finally walk on a solid ground:)



but I do mind the endless collection of bugs I find in my hair


in my hair!!!

aliiiiive and crawling

since I'm not working alone I keep my hysterical screams "I HAVE BUG IN MY HAIR!!!!!" under a total control, playing the being cool card, just taking it casually out of my hair

but the moment I come back at hotel, the first thing I do is running for the brush and I brush my hair until I am completely sure there is no alive thing in it or dead, or anything at all, then I wash it and then in the morning, I somewhat put a tonne of repellent on my clothes, skin aaaaand hair, even though I may damage it pretty bad by doing that

sometimes I get jealous of bald people:)

nevertheless, today was a lovely day of no bugs, but spiders. I love spiders now:) in comparison to those ugly crawling insects they are fluffy puffy pieces of rainbow, I don't even kill them, when I see them crawling on my clothes, I just put them back on the leaves, today I saw a reeeeeally big one on his spider web, and I actually thought: "Oh, hi there, don't mind me, I just take another path, do your spider things here" and I had indeed taken another path :)

the longer they stay away from my hair and my head, the more I like them!

Song that stole my soul

while listening to my favorite Post Grunge Rock radio I suddenly stopped surfing the Internet and was listening to the song that was on that channel

I never do that

when I like the song, I just look for it bit later, but not with this one

that song stole my soul, so I had to listen to the words more carefully

and I have to say, that song is one of the most creepiest ones I ever heard

and I do feel the pain in it and I do sometimes close my eyes while listening to it, even if I am walking on the street

here is the song

Hurt - Rapture

I would recommend you listening it to the very end, because it is the last verse that completely changes the feelings that you have while listening to that song

"Oh no, she didn't" was my reaction

but she did

I do not know, was it the real story, but I do feel all of that horror

Sunday, August 18, 2013


I miss Estonian food

I really really really do

it is quite strange how food in two countries located 2 hours away from each other may differ so much

it seems to me, that Finns do not eat anything that doesn't include sugar or coffee in it

eeeeverything is with sugar here, even bread

they do not like pure products, they need billions of additional flavors to eat anything

I am a huge fan of salted products, and it is heartbreaking, that Finns eat even cucumbers with sugar flavor

how is that possible I refuse to understand

I spent like 10 minutes in peanuts department looking for salted ones

found only one pack of it

I miss bread, normal white bread

here in Finland they have some sort of gray bread or white bread with tonnes of sugar on and in it

the only white bread I found is what they call French bread, why is it French, I do not know, but it tastes like paper

in Espoo there is one little Estonian shop with Estonian food, but there is no such thing in Mikkeli

therefore, if you are planning to visit me, would you be so kind and take those products with you:

Tallinna peenleib (the only bread I love)

White bread (basically any white bread)

Salted !!!! :

salted peanuts:
and this one:
I will be very happy :)

and I know, that people would say: but you live in Finland now, you should eat Finnish food now, but would it sound too offensive, if I say that most of the space in the food stores take overly sweet food (last time I checked, I still had diabetes) and the other half some Indian super spicy food

I want fooooood with no additional flavors on or in it


I love Sara Bareilles

she is so drama free kind of person

happy and real


and caring as well

like a ray of sunlight in the darkness of pop music

we need more music like that:)

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Jana and the white helmet

just to prove, that I am indeed working on construction sites wearing fancy white helmet here is a picture of me


My girl is back!!!!

since the failure of new Flyleaf and being overly auto tuned crappy new Paramore I missed a band with woman's lead vocal

so I decided to look for a new band and although I found some really good songs, those were one good song on the whole album kind of bands

therefore I turned back to the girls I loved listening before to see whether they are still performing

well my favorite one is back!!!!!!

back for already over a year and I didn't know about that


I stopped listening to them since their last two albums were somehow pure crap after the two first brilliant ones

but now they are back to their sound

my favorite song so far is Emily:

reeeeeady to goooooo

reeeeeady to use iiiiit

and that part with "and I'm sorry" reminds me why I felt in love with that band in the first place:)

loooooooooooooove it

and here are some more songs from that CD that I had missed last year

aaaand Invisible:

love the words

lil bit too sad, but true

and for those of you who have not heard about Exilia before (probably 90% of you) here are the biggest hits from them:

*Unleashed was their best album so far



Last man standing

I do not believe in gender equality

not do I believe that boys who tan in the tanning salons are boys

yesterday I was going home by train and I was wearing my working clothes and holding a helmet in my hands when one hell of an obvious gay sit next to me being all that styled and having clothes of big expensive brands

and then I thought, that something in this world went wrong, if men now look like that

it is like if they decided, that they had worked hard enough and now they just put all of the responsibilities to women, because those mindless feminist bitches wanted that

I love watching construction men working, because I instantly feel like a little princess surrounded by big strong men

you know, real men, who can provide for their families and who are brave enough to do the men stuff and nor discussing how expensive their shoes are and how to get their hair styled so perfectly

I do not know why did it happen so fast

but I do miss big strong men

therefore I was happy to find this TV show:

my dad is like that as well

and I love that

I find it being extremely wrong thinking that everybody are equal on this planet

we are not

and there is no point in turning men into feminine men and women into manly women, but somehow people want to be that middle gender

I don't wanna be like that

I would love cooking for my man while he is repairing my car

I would love cleaning the house while he is reading the newspaper

I would love watching hockey with him, but I won't mind if sometimes he watches it with his boys

I find it being right

as long as he is being man and not that middle gender piece of crap scared of any responsibility

love you all!

but not equally :)

I just don't get public transport policy here

I just don't

another thing I don't understand happened today: I was on the bus stop waiting for my bus and on the same bus stop there was a bus with the engine off, just parked there, and not on the road, but with the huge part of the bus parked just on the road for walkers

I thought, like, okaaay, may be it got broken, who knows and now it is waiting repair bus

but when according to the time table my bus had to be on the bus stop, that bus which was dead suddenly started the engine and instantly drove away, you should have seen my face:))) liiiike whaaaat the heeeelll waaaaas thaaaaaaat, zombie bus?

I thought, that may be some coincidence, since while it was driving away it had not had any bus number on it and my bus will arrive shortly

well it had not!!!


I just don't get it, how the hell would I know, that the bus sleeping on the bus stop with no number whatsoever was my bus

why the hell was it parked there anyway?

why the hell public transport here act like the gods of the roads ignoring passengers?

why the hell do I pay thaaaaaat much for the service, that treats me like shit???

I don't like it

I don't understand it

and I do think about writing one hell of an angry letter to the bus service provider charging that much for no respect for me as a client

that is not acceptable

you should feel bad, HSL

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Marry me!

so today I was in some thrift shop looking for a lamp

and found an island of cheap used books

got the lamp, but at least an hour I spent just in the book section


I get too excited when I see books

when I was paying for my books : Arthur C Clarke "The other side of the sky", Crichton "Timeline", then "Avaruus" and "Fundamentals of physics" the lovely cashier guy told me "Good books!!!" and I thought "Marry me!!!" but out loud I obviously said "Thank you" :) see, I'm getting better with my stalking attitude:)

anyways, now I have big books to read  while playing games with my mind imagining the Universe:)

and that is awesome:)

Do I think that he is extremely stupid?


riding like that without caring about anything and then losing his leg, well that's his fault only

and I do think that he must pay huuuuge amount of money to that driver, imagine you diving peacefully to your work and booooom some idiot out of nowhere riding under your wheels, I'm pretty sure that driver now has some serious mental problems, seeing that moment over and over again in his dreams

do I think, that he is extremely handsome man even without a leg?


and I'm talking about this:

yeah, I know, not my usual choice of music, but I loooooooooooooooooooooove that song

and I'm slowly starting to realize, that my only criteria "must be brave" is the right one

imagine some other guy getting in that accident, who just sit in his wheelchair complaining about his life, what will you feel? only pity for him

but not for Kurt, even though I think it was his fault only, I do find him super mega attractive, may be because that video shows how to fight for your life and be brave no matter what, and having some physical disorder is not an excuse for having a miserable life of regrets and complaints

you go, Kurt!

he is suuuuuuuuch aaaaa haaaaaaaandsooooooome maaaaaaaaaan

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Money change everything and everyone

today my player decided to remind me one old song, that I loved some time ago

B.o.B - Ghost In The Machine

he is one of the biggest music disappointments I had ever experienced

he had soooooo many good songs in his early album but then fame and money hit him and he sold his talent out

and now he is just another rap crap singing about guns, druugs, money and girls

I don't understand that well enough, but it is truly sad thing, that he turned into such a money whore of his latest songs:

I usually don't wish those kind of things, but dear Bobby Ray, I hope you will get broke and lose all of your so called rapper friends, may be then you will remember how to write good songs

I miss you


what I love about Train band is that they have healthy sense of humor


I love those kind of songs

easy words with catchy music and positive feeling


what I don't love - is mermaids, I really do not understand who the heck would love to see half fish half human creature, that's just...wrong

mermaids are only good for cartoons

pa ra ra ra pa pa rararara

Monday, August 5, 2013


some songs never get old

have this song all day in my head:)

a little toooooooo ironic

How do people make new friends?

That's a question bothering me

I am not studying now, nor do I attend any courses or trainings

so here is the question: how to people make new friends?

I need a Finnish friend

to go to the hockey games with him/her

may be I should look for friends just on the hockey games

I need to find my team first, since Antero is not playing anymore, and TPS is no longer an option

Espoo Blues or some Helsinki team

that's a question to think about
but then again, what the eff am I thinking about

Espoo Blues it is!

my new Finnish hockey team:)

now I need to find friends

Jokes I do not get

My perfect partner was stolen from me and replaced with another one for one week

in the next week I most likely will finally meet my long-term buddy, with whom we are going to build a railroad

but they reeeeally should not given me the perfect man to start working in the company, now everybody seems not so good

oh, I already miss my Rubik's cube man

but that's okay

what is not okay, that the man I'm going to work this week has a sense of humor I don't really get

I get like half of his jokes and find another half extremely abusive

he speaks only Finnish with me and after my perfect partner that was a little bit hard to concentrate on translating the words in my head in any language I know and then reply something back

I realize, that I seem like a slow person, but I won't apologize for that, it is how I learn language

I do not understand like 75% of what he is saying and that's okay, I will gather those words soon and it won't be a problem

but one joke that he told me, I did not quite understand was it a joke or an insult

he said: "why did your teacher teach you only half of words?"

I don't know, it doesn't look like a joke to me, more like insult and in a very bad way

for a moment I thought screw it, I am going home

but then again, I will finally learn the language, and he still will have extremely bad sense of humor

I never had problems with Estonian people in that way, when I was starting to learn the language everybody was polite and there were never problems with me responding slowly and not grammatically correct and here is a surprise for you, Jana, try feeling humiliating in Finland

Don't you think I know myself, that my Finnish sucks yet?

I have only 4 days left with them


Things I do not like about public transport in Helsinki

besides the horrifying cost of tickets

is that every bus has that kind of display board, where they write time, bus line and bus stops

but in Finland it is more a question of luck

so far more than half of the trips I had consisted of staring out of the window, trying to read the name of the next stop

the board was on its place, but the only information it had was "Hyvää matkaa"

like, okay, thanks for wishing me good ride, but it would be so much more useful to actually read the name of the next bus stop there:)

it annoys me more than I would like to admit