Monday, April 30, 2012

Dara O'Briain

I love it :)

It is water!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Paper heart

talking about Michael Cera

I find him kinda disturbing, he scares me a bit

but I love love love looooooooooooove Paper Heart movie

hadn't seen it in a while, and yes, that girl (Charlyne Yi) is currently in House MD :)

why do I love that movie so much?

weeeeell, because I feel, like if I have plenty of things in common with that girl and her way of living :)

and that movie will leave you with a warm smile on your face :)

weirdos in love :)


if you are not using tons of make up to look like a model then that movie will give you some hope, that you don't have to do that to find the love of your life :)

although this movie is not the real documentary movie it is easy to think so, because it does look like something real :)

"at least I admit it"

Read All About It

take Michael Cera's appearance

add Eminem's way of expression the feelings

and do not forget to add that lovely British accent

as a result you will get Professor Green:  

I love that song

Saturday, April 28, 2012

4 days!!!

I will be home for 4 days


I do love my job, it is just that I love Tallinn more:)

and this air, oooooohhhhh, this air

I have troubles breathing in Paide, because somehow that air is so heavy and you can breathe fully, for real, I feel like if I were having complete Tetris game inside of me, you know, perfectly structured, so that there are no free place for anything else:) in Paide it is like that, you can not breathe, because you are already full

in Tallinn, you have that impossibly fresh sea air and when you breath it in, you can feel how it is dancing inside of you, filling your every cell:) therefore, when on Fridays you meet a girl in black in central bus station smiling like an idiot, it is more likely to be me returning from the heavy air place:))) and I can't help myself with stop smiling, because I am the happiest person in the whole world, when my buss is crossing Tallinn border line:)

I love you, Tallinn



so what do we have here?

Vancouver is out

Ottawa is out (I still don't think of them as a team, but Alfredsson is just waaaaay too awesome)

and Nashville lost its first game with Phoenix

so maaaay be, juuuust maaaaaaay be, I should be a fan of Washington, whom I don't like at all and then my teams will start winning?

I should think about that


Thursday, April 26, 2012

Some songs

never get old

even when the song is from the punk band:

The Offspring - The Kids Aren't Alright

The body in the woods

do you know what?

I'm starting to love my job, it is not so slow anymore:)

so, yesterday we were driving to check the situation about one specific problem, when one man decided not to use canalization, because it was clogged and he simply used some sort of well, which was not really good, because it started to leak to the neighbors territory

yeah, imagine the smell of it

and we, being all that awesome inspectors who we are, have the right to come to the private property without owner's permission (yeap, sometimes even the police can't do that)

anyway, while they were talking to the owner, I felt somehow frightened, because while talking to them, he was constantly looking straight to my eyes, like if he wanted to suck out my soul:)))

I don't know what is wrong with people here, men here are most of the times drunk

nevertheless, he promised to repair the pipes, but he still will be getting a fine

on the way back my girls (I just yesterday got to know, that they are 38 and 40 years old, for real, I thought they were 25-30, women here look younger, than in Tallinn:))) suddenly stopped the car, because they had noticed something strange in the woods (that's the inspectors thing, they notice every little thing, that is not right in the nature)

and there it was, lying person under the tree, with body position as it he was dead

we parked the car and noticed, that there was another car next to our, and apparently it was that person car, because who the hell would park a car next to the forest

we went to see, if the person is still alive, and she was motionless, like completely motionless, and yes, it was "she". looking pretty good, not like some drunkie who felt asleep, but wearing good clothes and shoes on heels, so not exactly the clothes somebody would wear to have a walk in the forest

we immediately called 112, and I really thought, that because of how weird the body in the woods looked like there will be in addition to emergency car police car too, but apparently it was not worth their attention, may be I watch too much police related series, but hell, that situation was not what you may consider as a usual one

nevertheless, while one of the mentors was telling how to get to the place the other slowly went to check whether the woman is dead or not, I went with her, and the woman was breathing, she was not reacting to any actions and she had one huge bump on her head, and close to her was not anything big enough to left that mark

anyway, we tried to get her awake, but we decided not to move the body, because she was lying so weirdly, that we were afraid, that she may have some broken bones

when finally emergency car arrived (almost 15 minutes later, how the hell could you be emergency, when you are slower than the average car???) they simply put her in the car and drove away, and saying put her in the car I actually mean, that we all helped them carry her to the car, yeap, like in some dramatic rescue movies, when the small group of people carry one

today I went to the hospital (I am a good person, you know) to visit that woman and ask the doctors what was wrong with her and whether she is alive or not. but in the hospital, the lady in reception told me, that if I don't have that woman's name she could not help me, like do you really have thaaaat many unconscious women from the woods, that you don't know who she is?

I really hope, that she is alive and well

see, that's what I call full of action day

may be we saved a life yesterday

at least I hope so

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

So good


it seems to me I'm into happy music lately

B.o.B - So Good

na na na na na

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Words of wisdom from Dumbledore

Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike

"Harry Potter and Order of The Phoenix"

Thursday, April 19, 2012

People like me

for some reasons:)))

for being awesomely awesome may be? just kidding:)

but week ago we were doing some sort of misdemeanor procedure, I'm not sure if I'm using the right word, but it is when you do some sort of a warning to the person who broke the law, but not in a criminal way

it was a lovely couple and I was writing down their statements and we made them a verbal warning, so because they were from Tallinn and it was Friday (the day when I return from the middle of everywhere to my home town) my mentor asked them whether they ming giving me a lift to Tallinn:)) I know, how weird is that, and they not only did that, but because I forgot my Tallinn keys in my village home, they had to drive 15 km back to my home and only then to Tallinn:)))

and just few hours before I was mad as hell, when I realized, that I forgot those keys and I couldn't go back to Tallinn right after the job and have to drive back 30 minutes to take keys and then again to the city to catch the bus:))during the dinner time I wanted to take those, but I was missing the bus, who left just when I was moving to the bus stop:))) soooooo, I guess everything happens for a reason and because I left my keys I met very lovely couple (who actually reminded my of my own parents, they are the same die hard old love couple) and what is more, they forced me to take a dinner with them on the way back home and said, that they will not be driving any further until I will allow them to pay for the meal:)

and I remind you, I have no legal rights in their case and that case was already closed, so they obviously had not had to be nice to me so that I could affect my mentor to force her to do something for them:)

some people simply like me:)

I like you all too:)

I can't talk much about my job, because I signed the papers which basically meant what happens in Inspection stays in Inspection (I can not use any names and company names either) , so the only things I can tell are the basic things, which can not be taken as a confidential information, but I may assure you, people in Paide Inspection don't take bribes:) you can trust them, and if you made something bad, we will find you and you will be facing charges:)

Vancouver Canucks

had won my heart for this season's playoffs:)

well, my first pick was Nashville predators, but since Vancouver was losing in series 0:3, I decided, that I will turn my hockey heart to another outsider and will be supporting Canucks for now:)

yeap, I know I have tendency for liking outsiders:)))

soooo, now the score is 1:3 it is still as fragile as Carter (I remind you, that you have to win 4 games in the series to move to the next round), so every our loss will mean, that Vancouver pack their bags and go home

Nashville is my second pick, and it seems to me that they are doing perfectly fine without me 3:1 so far


therefore, gooooooo, Vancouver Canucks, goooooo

Canuck's second goalie Cory Schneider

who was the goaltender during Vancouver win game (I still can name Vancouver my team, because "my team" is a registered mark to Columbus Blue Jackets:))) apparently Vancouver first used-to-be-omg-how-awesome goalie Luongo was not ready to play after 3 loses

but that's okay, as long as we have Cory:)

*who is in addition to being cool goaltender is one hell of a handsome goaltender:)

My endless love is endless

for Rise Against :)

I don't know how, but I'm capable of listening their song again and again and again and I never get bored with that

and for years already my favorite song of all times is the same old good Savior

over and over and over again:)

and I will keep posting it as many times as much it will take you to fall in love with this song too:)

I don't haaaaaate yoooooou

I don't haaaaaate yoooooou nooooo

and billions hearts in my body are singing this song now

over and over and over again


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I'm impressed

back to my rap period of time I was pretty much a fan of 2Pac, and I have to say, I was reeeeeeally impressed with this hologram:

what kind of magic is it?



but daaaaaaamn he looks like the real one

and with no doubts, like one hell of an attractive man out there

impressed with the quality


And if I fall and crash and burn
At least we both know that I tried
And as I crawl those lessons learned
Yeah they remind me I survived

such a lovely song

so, today I cried like some fluffy puffy unicorn


because I found some small worm in my bed, the one I'm sleeping in

and then I broke down and cried

I'm afraid of the insects on a extreme level

and imagine what I felt when I saw it there, of course I already switched the bed to another one, but still, there are insects everywhere, because it is an old house and despite the fact that I have one hell of a big armory of insect killing poisons they are still here and I'm afraid of them in close to hysterical way and it is not even summer yet, when all of those flying things will be awaken:( I don't really know how I will make it through the remaining 17 weeks, I really don't

that's why I love winter, there are almost no insects

but well, have to make something up

I always thought of myself as a calm person, but now I understand, that I am not calm, because I care too much about every little thing, but I'm calm in the way I deal with it, you will never see me screaming or breaking dishes or using rude words, I'm emotional, but on an acceptable level, I cry:))) and sometimes I cry even in the middle of conversation, just because some thought came to my mind (positive or negative)so it is hard to deal with people like me, but hey, at least I'm not a robot:) or some bitch who will make you suffer from some "why did you leave that plate in the room" kind of things:))) so I'm not calm, I'm emotional, but not hysterical (except for the insects theme)

and I'm not a pedobear. Why did I write that? because I'm fan of Pottermore world and although this site was made for every Potter fan, it is obvious, that the majority of the visitors there are kids, so, dear parents, I am not stalking your kids, I am just minding my own business, without talking to anybody out there:)

Big girls can be wizards too, don't they?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Just imagine

Space Shuttle Discovery Landing (201204170024HQ)

Space shuttle Discovery, mounted atop a NASA 747 Shuttle Carrier Aircraft (SCA) taxis past the terminal at Washington Dulles International Airport, Tuesday, April 17, 2012, in Sterling, Va. Discovery, the first orbiter retired from NASA’s shuttle fleet, completed 39 missions, spent 365 days in space, orbited the Earth 5,830 times, and traveled 148,221,675 miles. NASA will transfer Discovery to the National Air and Space Museum to begin its new mission to commemorate past achievements in space and to educate and inspire future generations of explorers. Photo Credit: (NASA/Sean Smith)

the size of every single artificial thing up there in the sky and space

that would be million tonnes of electrical crap that can fall down to your head:)

just kidding, it's not a crap, it is one of my to do things

to watch the shuttle landing


*preferably not on my head, but that is not essential

Monday, April 16, 2012

I don't like you either

it seems to me, that the small village I'm living in doesn't like me at all:))

have a new problem

this time with waste management company

Veolia to be exact

in our contract it is said, that my waste bin will be emptied once a month

week ago was that time of the month, so I left the container next to the road and went to work

when I got back it was still full

okaaaaay, I said, may be there was some misunderstanding and may be I put it out too late 07:45, but when I looked in the Internet where they put addresses where there were some problems and saw mine with a note: container was missing at 08:00

like whaaaat the heeeeell, do I have some sort of invisible bin, so that they missed it? it wasn't hidden in any way, so I suggest, that their truck was here not at 8, but earlier, so I accepted it as part of my mistake and ordered a new one to come this monday

well, guess what, yeap, my container was outside since sunday and still there and yet there were no truck to be seen


Dear Veolia

you suck!

gonna call you tomorrow with the question about my mystery bin

to everyone who has a choice, I recommend you not to chose Veolia, simply because they act not like a respectful company should act (if you were here at 07.30, then write as it is, that you were here at 07.30, not 08.00 and when you get an order with all of my contacts, be so kind and call or write me with information about why this day doesn't suit you)

yeah, I don't like that attitude

boo you

Sunday, April 15, 2012

I'm not gonna cry

I'm not gonna cry

it will grow back

I'm not gonna cry

it will grow back

yeeeah, another haircut fail

I now realize, that when you say cut 3 cm they will cut those 3 cm off and then cut 3 more just to make it even

dammit, I really wanted to cry, when I saw how short my hair is now


but that's okaaaay

it will grow back eventually

what I know for sure is that I'm not going to the stylist until autumn and that's for sure

I want my long beautiful hair back:(

not those boyish chopped piece of what used to be hair


I can't even whirl it on my finger anymore

it is not that dramatically short, but it is much much much more shorter that I wanted it to be

and take it as a rule: if you have bad eyesight ALWAYS WEAR LENSES when you are going to the hairdresser, because without glasses you can't stop her


I'm not gonna cry

it will grow back

I'm not gonna cry

it will grow back

in a month or so it will be wearable already

so by the summer I'm gonna be okay:)

will save some shampoo for now


Saturday, April 14, 2012

Live like a Sir

I'm bit jealous


*if you have troubles with viewing this picture, then here is the direct link

Thursday, April 12, 2012

I'm not ashamed

I like Taylor Swift

at least she doesn't look and act like a whore

which is pretty rare today in music world:)

today I heard her new song with another artist I'm not ashamed to admit I like: B.o.B

yeah, yeah, I listen to different music

B.o.B. - Both Of Us ft. Taylor Swift

anyway, that song was removed so quickly from YouTube, that the only other source I found was this page: link to the pink color page, so just ignore the page and listen to the song

loooove it

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

And that my friends

is what I call "I WANNA BE THERE"

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


today I worked with the most expensive computer I had ever seen

Panasonic toughbook CF-19 tablet pc

Fully Rugged Notebook PC Convertible to Tablet PC it is

looks awesome too:

wanna know the price? Freaking 3000 eur in average


Mac is not that expensive after all:)))

I'm not yet sure, why do they have not one, but even two of those here, because they primarily use usual notebooks and those amazing ones really rarely

it is way too heavy for my hands, but you have to admit, using those under the rain, when you are in the middle of some forest is surely one hell of a good thing to do

but if speaking the truth, I am not sure why it costs soooooooooooooooooo much, there are no like super awesome features in it, only that it is close to impossible to break it:

pretty much amazing, isn't it?

Monday, April 9, 2012


I admit, I fail in being village girl

today I woke up early, because it was so freezing, that even my 3 blankets couldn't help me. Like d'ooooh, because I got here tomorrow very late I had no time to completely warm that evil wood eating thing up, therefore I had to use that little battery that there is

weeeeeeell, apparently there were no electricity at night

and in the morning

and during the day

I, being all that big city girl, suggested that there were some problems in the electricity lines and that they will fix it soon

and I had to use ice cold water to wash my face and teeth with that

that was one good challenge for me

anyway, had lovely time on work and when I got back home there still were no signs of electricity, soooo I called my sister who lives here in summer, whether they had similar problems, she said, that she forgot to tell me, that there is some thing called probably plug fail when you have to manually restart your home electricity system, yeeeap, all I had to do was pushing several buttons to get my electricity back:))) but we don't haaaave those problems in Tallinn, how would I know?but I can't use anything besides my lamps and computer, if I want to make tee, I would have to turn off the water boiler not to overload the system


why is it all so complicated here?

but that's okaaaaaay

I have a lip burn now too, didn't see the stove door being so close to my lips while putting the wood in:)))

oh, Jana, Jana, you should pay more attention to everything


Sunday, April 8, 2012


I don't really like football and besides the games where Estonia plays, I don't watch it (hockey power)

but due to I know the latest news about football (or soccer, if you live in USA):)))

so today I saw this picture:

and that picture made my evening:)))

Well hello

the place so cold I can barely feel my hands


it will take some time before that black thing gets warmer and starts heating my room


still hadn't met my mouse, but I decided to call it J, yeah, simple J, the letter that looks like a hook

and just when we were entering Järvamaa borders I instantly got headache

I can not even look at the map, I always know, that when it is starting to ache, I'm soon to be in the middle of nowhere:)

can somebody teach me how to love the place you don't like?


I love cold weather, but there is a difference between open window in the winter and the whole house temperature almost as low as it is outside:)

I don't have enough hair to keep my body warm (yeap, that's the thing about people with light hair, we don't even have hairy arms, or at least I don't)

and I need to chose hockey team to be supporting during playoffs, because none of my favorite 3 (Columbus, Buffalo, Carolina) are in the playoffs

sad face

but that's okaaaay

waking up in the mornings with three blankets:)))

whining capital city girl I am:)))

Thank you, Columbus Blue Jackets

for such an incredible season end!

we won 2 last games

and we won it with an elegance and style:)))

Columbus Blue Jackets vs Colorado Avalanche 5:2

1:0 – CBJ - Cam Atkinson - (Darryl Boyce, Colton Gillies) – 06:35
1:1 – COL - David Jones - (J. McGinn, P. Stastny) - 09:56
1:2 – CBJ - Rick Nash - (M. Letestu, V. Prospal) – 17:29
2:2 – COL - Paul Stastny (G. Landeskog, P. Mueller) – 22:38 (5x4)
2:3 – CBJ - Rick Nash - (D. Brassard,J. Johnson) – 26:47 (5x3)
2:4 – CBJ - Cam Atkinson - (R.J. Umberger) – 31:51
2:5 – CBJ - Cam Atkinson - (S. Mason) – 58:56 (empty net)

Goaltenders: Mason (Sv% 0.946) – Varlamov (0.852)
Shots On Goal: 28 (10-10-8) – 37 (11-14-12).
Penalty: 25 (7-4-14) - 15 (7-4-4)

yes, my friends, hat trick from Cam Atkinson and assist from our goalie:)

it seemed to me, that Mason was not as confident as York, but nevertheless he played awesomely:)

I really liked this photo:

Head coach Joe Sacco of the Colorado Avalanche yells against the Columbus Blue Jackets at the Pepsi Center on April 5, 2012 in Denver, Colorado. Columbus beat Colorado 5-2. (Photo by Michael Martin/NHLI via Getty Images)

never underestimate the worst team in NHL:)

and the last game of the season was yesterday (or should I say this early morning?)

and we wooooooon agaaaaaain

and with what a score, my friends

Columbus Blue Jackets vs New York Islanders 7:3

1:0 – CBJ - Rick Nash - (M. Letestu, V. Prospal) – 19:24
2:0 – CBJ - Cam Atkinson – 24:15
2:1 – NYI - Milan Jurcina - (F. Nielsen, M. Grabner) – 27:32
3:1 – CBJ - RJ Umberger - (C. Atkinson, D. Brassard) – 31:12
3:2 – NYI - Kyle Okposo - (M. Jurcina) – 33:11
4:2 – CBJ - James Wisniewski - (V. Prospal, J. Johnson) – 38:48 (5x3)
5:2 – CBJ - Cam Atkinson - (D. Dorsett, J. Wisniewski) – 39:31 (5x4)
6:2 – CBJ - Jack Johnson - (J. Wisniewski, D. Brassard) – 44:41
7:2 – CBJ - Vinny Prospal - (N. Nikitin) – 51:03
7:3 – NYI - Michael Grabner - (M. Streit, D. Reese) – 56:27

Goaltenders: Mason (Sv% 0.921), Hunwick – Montoya (0.811)
Shots On Goal: 37 (10-15-12) – 38 (10-21-7)
Penalty: 19 (7-12-0) – 21 (7-14-0)

and daaaamn, Cam may be the shortie, but that's one of the fast players out there

I loved that joke about Mason doing little snow angel:)))

Rick Nash #61 of the Columbus Blue Jackets greets the fans as he takes the ice for the pregame warmup before a game against the New York Islanders on April 7, 2012 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

and Cam can be Evil

Cam Atkinson #13 of the Columbus Blue Jackets moves in to check Steve Staios #24 of the New York Islanders in the first period on April 7, 2012 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

what can I say, my team consists of handsome players:

Goaltender Al Montoya #35 of the New York Islanders makes a first period save on shot from Ryan Johansen #19 of the Columbus Blue Jackets on April 7, 2012 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

even from behind you can feel how our Vinny smiles:

Vinny Prospal #22 of the Columbus Blue Jackets and Rick Nash #61 of the Columbus Blue Jackets celebrate Nash's goal in the first period as goaltender Al Montoya #35 of the New York Islanders looks back in to the net on April 7, 2012 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

Thank you, Columbus Blue Jackets!

Cam Atkinson #13 of the Columbus Blue Jackets celebrates the first of his two second period goals against the New York Islanders on April 7, 2012 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

and congratulations to Hunwick!

Goaltender Shawn Hunwick #31 of the Columbus Blue Jackets makes his NHL debut in the third period against the New York Islanders on April 7, 2012 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)


Vinny Prospal #22 of the Columbus Blue Jackets celebrates his third period goal against the New York Islanders with teammate Brett Lebda #23 on April 7, 2012 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. Columbus defeated New York 7-3. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

I love you, Columbus Blue Jackets

We will win next season!


It is not right

when you are counting hours until your bus to the middle of nowhere with the fear

but if I already had learned something (apart from Environmental Inspection things) is that I want to live in Tallinn (or Stockholm)

I asked my co-worker how do they live without the sea in the summer and they answered me, that they will take me on an early boat ride someday to show how they do it:) yeap, people in Inspection ride/drive whatever can be ridden, such a lovely gesture from them

and I finally got an apology (if you can call that thing an apology, when other side doesn't really know what is he apologizing for) from Mr Jerkinsson, but thats good, thank you

I don't wanna goooooo back theeeeeere

yes, you can call me spoiled piece of anger


hello spiders and mouses!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

I'm sorry

I'm not a fluffy puffy piece of rainbow

and I'm tired pretending that I am

I am a big black ball of misunderstanding

sometimes I think, that the only emotion my face shows is this one:

yeah. living in the small town is slowly killing me

one bus an hour (one hell of expensive bus an hour, I pay 1,09 for one ticket):

majority of town's population smoking (are they trying to fill in their free time?):

more than a half of older people drinking almost every day (are they trying to escape from their broken lives?) :

newspaper coming after 9 AM (I have no explanation for this one):

co-workers making coffee break/smoking break every 30 minutes (my heart whispers me something is wrong in that team) :

measuring the area of deforestation with measuring tape (my surveyor's heart died that day) :

disrespectful jokes (I guess somebody need to have confidence boost) :

the tale of lost hours (seriously, I had lived there 3 days, and one night my alarm clock showed one hour less than it was (batteries were new), and the next night my perfectly working mobile phone showed one hour more, what the hell is wrong with that place stealing my life?) :

co-workers thinking being vegetarian is some sort of sickness:

inability to trust people (you still owe me one big apology, young man aka Mr Jerkinsson, we were good friends, after all) :

seriously, I feel like I am wasting my life on useless things

I'm already thinking about rearranging my timetable, so that I will be 3 days in the middle of nowhere on I job I thought was much more intense and the rest of the week having some practice somewhere near the sea

I realized, that I have nobody next to me on a daily basis, not friends, who I see once a month, but somebody who I can talk about everything

yeah, I fail in choosing people I trust:)

I want to shut down my brain for a day and lay restless 24h without one single thought and then awake fully recharged and updated


but well

I still have hockey


at least my nightmares about sinking ships have reasons to come to my brain:)

and soundtrack to my life is probably this song:

and I'm taking the both sides of this song, the one who sings and the one to whom this song dedicated

Cos they're still in you too low
All the voices you don't know
And they're still in you too low
All the choices that you chose

yeah, I have voices in my head, mainly my own, but sometimes those who said something offensive to me or some line that were typed in windows life messenger:) yeeeeeeah, I probably should delete that program it brought too much broken hopes to me

I saw you pray for change and then you walked all over me

and that's the line, that every single naive girl can save to her brain, every time you want to help somebody, it either will end up with you being broken hearted or with you being emotionally unstable (as a result you will constantly see sinking ships in your dreams, which I found sort of interesting dreams, but you will get tired of seeing people die with that ship). As a result I am the one who need help right now, but well, will somehow get over it, I do have those bright moments, when I understand everything, it is the glue I am missing to keep those moments stable, without it they are falling apart in days. yeah, I need glue man:)))

You wanted what you could not have and now you are alone

wish I could know, when somebody is "what you could not have", because I am pretty sure I can have anything and anybody as long as that anybody is not already taken (because stealing boyfriends is not "like a sir" thing to do)

But I'm still in you somehow
I never left at all

because all we have shared memories

When you're nothing it's a good time to remind you of one thing:
The pursuit begins when this portrayal of life, ends

I know I have to stop thinking about the one I loved and the one I really liked and move on, but I still can't, because they were the two most important people in my life, the only two who knew my big ugly secret and the only two, who had chosen another girl over me, despite the fact, that they cared about me sometimes even more, so yaaaaay (just to point that out, not at the same time)

may be Mr Jerkinsson was right, I hope too much

and like aaalways I promise I will start new life tonight without those sad memories

pretty sure I will fail again, but it is worth trying

isn't it?

the thing that scares me a bit, is that every time I am washing the dishes I am always repeating to myself the line from Harry Potter said by Dumbledore

"After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure"

and I have well-organized mind with some messy soul :)

Seal and fashion

sometimes I wonder how far can a fashion girl go just to get something made of fur

Want to know how to lose weight?

I have one excellent advice

want to stop eating candies and that kind of food to lose weight. start eating it every day, piece by piece

I have to say it, I HATE TIC TAC ORANGE now, although I loooooved it before I decided to try eating only one piece a day

I'm tired of taking that pack everywhere I go

I still have about 30 pieces left, but I am willing to do that until the end to finish my childish project:)

but now every time I see tic tac in the store, I literally want to set it all on fire:))) I guess I won't be buying tic tac any time soon:)))

so yeah, want to stop eating candies, buy a huge pack and eat it one a day and if you miss the day, you will have to start all over again

that's a huge motivation:)

Thursday, April 5, 2012


yesterday I saw Titanic in my dreams

but not the magnificent one:

or not even that one from the movie:

but my own one, sometimes I am doubting my sanity, because while sleeping and seeing that dream my brain decided to adopt it to the current conditions

so I have my own Titanic, looking like an over sized cartoon boat

being all that round and happy

but my brain working as it is, decided that Titanic is looking too new for my dream in 2012, so while we were on a ship in the harbor, it started to hit the port building just to get some scratches on the sides, yeeeeah, just imagine that, cartoonish Titanic hitting the building and then turning around and hitting it on the other side, just not to be looking too new

and then of course it sunk

and then of course I stayed alive

I looked in the dream dictionaries for sinking ships and all I found was:

To dream of ships, foretells honor and unexpected elevation to ranks above your mode of life.

To dream that a ship has crashed or sunk suggests that you are feeling emotionally out of control. You are expressing some fear or uncertainly within your emotional state. You are afraid of losing something close to you because of certain difficulties.

If the dream is about a sea accident and you do not plan to travel by ship or boat, then this is an omen having to do with love affairs

yeeeah, seems legit :)

keeping in mind that I see those dreams with different sinking ships all the time, I must be emotionally unstable probably because of the people I like:)

but it is good, that I'm always staying alive:)

that kinda gives some hope:)

what's weird is that I'm currently not liking anybody (well except that Sean Berdy:)))

like d'oh, how can you not liking that cutie pie?

so, dear brain, lets have something new in terms of dreams:)

if you are wondering, then the longest ship ever built is Seawise Giant:

468 m of fear

and the biggest passenger ship ever built is Allure of the Seas (360m)

Together with her sister ship, Oasis of the Seas, she holds the record for the largest passenger ship ever constructed, although the Allure is 50 millimetres (2.0 in) longer than the Oasis

Allure of the seas:

Oasis of the Seas:

and I'm sorry, but I don't ever want to be anywhere close to those ugly monsters

my heart belongs to Tallink, with their small ships, like 212 m Baltic Queen:

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


one word can change a lot

Regret is one of those words:)

I love this song

Living country life


I'm slowly getting used to living where there is no sea and no stable Internet connection:)

I'm pretty much awesome in burning everything that can be burnt to get some warmth:)

and I got mouse poison, but I can't put it out, because I kinda got friends with it:) I hadn't seen it, but still

it is snowing for the three days now

and not like little snow and bright sunshine, noooooo

I hadn't taken any winter clothes with me, because it is already spring in Tallinn (yeeeeap, just 105 km away, and weather differ so much) and now I regret doing that, it is constantly snowing here, like back to January:)))

but I'm going home tomorrow evening, because apparently there is some big religious holiday at Friday


at least some good thing about religion:)

at night it is so dark here, that you can't see anything, like for real, you can put your hand in front of your eyes and still you can't see it

but I'm not afraid of the dark


we all gonna be fine

Sunday, April 1, 2012

My big heart

is singing so loud now, that you can probably hear it from Tallinn



Columbus Blue Jackets vs St Louis Blues

We Salute You!

I can live here

for 19 weeks but not a week longer:)

what surprised me is that here is pleeeeeenty of blond Estonian boys, and not the ugly ones, but the handsome:)))

so yeah, I can live for a while here in the middle of nowhere

it is only, that there is a mouse in the kitchen

yeap, the wild homeless mouse who lives there now

aaaand the fact that I have to bury the wood to get the warmth is not making my life any easier:)

like back to the past,where there were no central heating system:)

so I'm counting days until Friday, when I can get back to civilization:)

Elisa Mint

is probably the slowest Internet connection on planet Earth


but thats okaaaaaay