Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Evil map

I don't know who created that

but thats eeeeviiiiil:

Russia is not that impossibly bad (but most of the words are still true)

and we are not slow little bros:)))

but I love how that person wrote about Finland: The even slower bros of the slow little bros, but they have a good hockey team, so they are cool


don't be mad at that person

it is just a joke and I loved it:)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


After hearing this

is it only me or Rick does sound like he is guilty of asking to be traded?

and I loved the question about how is he going to wear "C" on the jersey, when he wants to leave the team

I don't know

my love for Nash will always be there

but now I do think, that if you want to leave your team (the team you are captain of) then leave or say that you were wrong asking to be traded

I feel like if I was betrayed

I do think he loves Ohio and all Columbus Blue Jackets team

but I don't think he is still a part of it

I am getting used to people lie to me, but I never could expect, that my Captain will do that to our team

it is very disappointing

he always was that good guy, who don't talk much, but always there for the team and after this interview I feel like he doesn't know what he wants now

I don't know

Dear world, stop crushing down again, one little problem at a time

Dear Nash, please, solve your problems and come back renewed to our team (it would be perfect if you apologize for that doubtful answer about "I wanted to be traded for the team best interests"

and R.J. you are my little ray of sunshine for saying:

I still plan on winning here," Umberger said. "There's no such thing that says this has to be a three- or four-year thing. With pieces like Jack (Johnson) coming, some high picks coming, these are things than can turn your franchise around.

may be we put too much weight on Nash's shoulders

Rick, we will be happy if you stay with us, if we won't hear those talks about being traded

you are our leader and you can make mistakes, but stop listening to those people who tell you that you should leave Columbus and stay true to being our proud number 61 Rick Nash

with the capital C

We love you

And let it go

let it go

Monday, February 27, 2012

Like in the movies

I'm feeling myself bit exited lately:)

yesterday I almost got hit into the torch, because I was staring on the sky and the Moon and the stars, like I had not seen it in years:)) and suddenly out of nowhere there was a torch:)) lucky for me I didn't hit in the very last moment:)

I love the smell of the air in the evenings

it has something charming:)

I love those days, when you feel yourself like you are the best person in the world:)

you know, when you go out alone and some strangers are trying to talk to you and make compliments it just feels so right, like "okay, mister Jerkinson, I do miss the person that you were, but it is not that important anymore"

and when you hair fall perfectly right and when you wake up and your hair is still perfectly fine and you can leave them as it is without washing it

and when it is slowly snowing outside

and when it is so windy, that you can hardly stand, but you are smiling anyway, because with every wind blow you imagine that it helps you move on

and when you are in the bus and the bus waits for some running old lady when usually it closes the doors and drive away

and when you are in the other bus and you see, that some man starts running to catch that bus, but he is still so far away, that you mentally say to yourself "man, don't run, you will not be able to catch this bus anyway" and then suddenly it is red light and that man increases the speed and somehow reach the bus stop even before the bus

and when you finally get the tickets to Finland to have the best concert of your life

and when you laugh out loud while watching The New Girl with Zooey Deschanel

and when it is 00:00 and you got to know, that you still have your Captain

and then it feels soooooo goooooood


it just makes you sad, that you can't share your happiness with the person you used to like so much

but I made pretty much amazing lemonade out of lemons that you throw at me:)

Brighter than the Sun

One day I will find that man, who will accept me the crazy person that I am with my constant need to make out some utopian ideas, my mood swings, my need to make little presents, to care about somebody and my excess sensitivity towards any lie and my endless love towards hockey and Rise Against:)

and by "one day" I mean the time between February 28th and March 11th 2012:)


Our trip to landfill

as you already understood I still don't like taking photos of myself

but you can't say no to the group photo, don't you?

and yes, I'm that smart ass dressing white on landfill:)

I can call that photo "Over sized Jana" :))) in my over sized pants, over sized hoodie and over sized mittens, even my boots are over sized:) but hey, look at me, while others are freezing, I'm feeling more than comfortable, that's the magic of over sized clothes:)it has warm air layers:)

anyway, our group is the best and we will eventually save the whole planet from the waste expansion :)

Our Captain!!!

Is still our Captain!!!!!!!

Rick Nash stays in Columbus Blue Jackets for now:)

today was the trade deadline and Nash is still our captain


yeah, there is always some but

apparently, Rick himself asked to be traded

so what the eff Nash?

nevertheless I'm so glaaaaaaad he stays with us

nay, not stays, but plays with us


I hope this season will be the worst season in our history, and in the 2012-2013 season we will rock the hockey world in a good way:)

Good luck, Columbus Blue Jackets!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

The power of voices

I seriously had wet eyes

I love Rise against:)

I looooove Tim's "rrrrrr" voice

for me, that is the main factor of attractiveness


that voice

some have that "rrr" voice, but still try to sing like with a normal one

like Isaac:

and he tries to soften t and he manages to do that, but, hey, Isaac, we know what voice do you have:))

btw, I love how emotionally he sings that song, I'm pretty much sure, that is the 1737 time when he sings it and yet, look how much of himself he puts in


for the rest of the voices, yeah, thay are good, but just not as good as "rrr"

hear the difference? clean voice

I really like this song, but I don't love it:)

Train is good:)

Rise Against is awesome:)

What the hell is wrong with you world?

Elliott Dearlove merely asked a five-year-old boy if he was 'brown because he was from Africa' but the school tried to make his mother Hayley sign a form admitting he was racist

link to the whole article

Are you freaking kidding me?

sent him to jail now

I'm sorry, but that is not normal

I really doubt that you will say "you are racist" to some African kid if he/she asks "are you white, because you are from the north?"

or suddenly Africa became the land of white people instead of black one?

don't think so

that's perfectly normal, if a kid asks those questions, apparently he knows the theory of evolution and where and what races live

but noooooooo

now he is a racist

for heaven's sake, turn your brain on, frightened people with tolerance way more that it is needed

I'm sorry, but then you wonder where did Breivik come from? From the local people who are freaking tired of constantly looking for the words that would not be affective towards people with different skin color... or because those bitchy people always complain about how government doesn't help them with everything, or because "my son was put to jail not because he raped white girl, but because he is black"

and so on and so on

soon it will be normal to ask "is it okay that I'm white or should I change my skin and eyes color so that you would feel better?"

wake up, you freaking drowned in tolerance people

it is okay to ask questions

once again, thank you, Estonia, for that you stay the way you are now.

and no, I'm not racist, it is just there is the thin line between be proud of who you are and forcing people to like you because of who you are

another reason why I find Lilyhammer awesome:

"Hey, towelhead."


"Listen, you might wrap your women like mummies back in Taliban country, but here, we treat our broads with respect. Comprende?

I wonder how this show wasn't banned from television:)

Friday, February 24, 2012

No more Carter


now I breathe bit easily

does that mean that my Captain stays in the team, if we already gave Jeff away?

I hoooooope soooooooo

if not, then our team managers really have no brain


Jeff Carter, we all gonna miss you!

Good luck in Los Angeles Kings!

*if I were the one who creates rules, no players exchange would have been allowed. Like for real, it is not a toy store, where every season you can pick whoever you like. Team chose you, you stay in the team until the end of your career and it is only up to you whether to play good or not, and not like nowadays, okaaaay, I suck in this team, but in another I will be much better, forget about that, suck it up and play:)

I should create my own hockey league someday:)

Another reason to like Google

cuteness overdose:)

Thank you!

Happy Birthday!!!!

my little country Estonia!

we are 94!!!


I love you with all of my heart:)

you are not perfect, but we love you the way you are and we will help you:)

I love how Estonian people are so proud of their land:)

they even did the list of "100 things we love about Estonia":)))

one thing melted my heart: "Estonian language is one of the rare ones, where word "home" means only home, not the building" that means that in English and Russian home is either place you live or the building somebody lives in, in Estonian it has the only meaning of the place you live in:)

how sweet is that?

even my hockey puck, that is currently working instead of my heart, tells me, that is good:))

Happy Birthday, Estonia!!!

Happy bit belated birthday!

Mister Jerkinson!

I will call you now that, because your name is too good for being such a "insert something bad here"

Wish you to stop lying to your girlfriend


and some courage

and some dignity

well, not some, but a lot of dignity, because you probably don't have it much

I'm still looking for the new best friend, but I'm glad you are alive

Happy birthday!

Is forgiveness a good present?

I forgive you
For every times that I cried
Over some stupid thing you did to hurt me
That's alright
Yeah, I forgive you

I really hope, that someday you will be the exact same person you pretended to be while talking with me


Brighter than the Sun

today I woke up with this song on my mind:

yeah, my music choice surprises even me:)

but such a sunny and happy song:)

not angrily happy like I always prefer, but in a sweet way:)

Oh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart
It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun
Oh, we could be the stars, falling from the sky
Shining how we want, brighter than the sun

and you simply sitting there, smiling like some mentally ill person, because that song is so sweet and you can't do nothing:)

and yes, I want that bed


Will it be my last trip?

Dear Tallink, stop frightening me

For the past week I'm exchanging emails with their booking office pretty much every day


because I got new tickets that said that my Finland-Estonia ship will be at 19:30, not at 21:30, like I offered

Apparently, they changed the schedule

like whaaaaaat

that 19:30 don't suit me very much, because that means that at 18:30 I must be in the harbor already, waaaay too early

so I asked whether it is the last ship, she replied that there will be at 22:30, okaaaay I said, and changed my booking to 22:30

today got the new booking confirmation and tickets

and guess whaaaat?

same freaking 19:30, although she told me it will be 22:30

now the question: how creepy is that? it is like my destiny force me to go on that 19:30 ship for some reason:) but as much as I don't understand when a person who I like lies to me, I don't understand the signs that my destiny gives me:) so I put on my poker face and still asked for 22:30

now note for traveling people:) if you are planning to go on the 19:30 or 22:30 ship 11 March 1012, don't do that:) who knows what can happen to those ships

at least I am pretty much of a good swimmer

juuuuust in case:)

it is sad, though, that our sea is so freezing cold

but like I already said, at least I die with no regrets of something I hadn't said:)

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I made a mess of me

siiiiiing alooooong

The sickness is myseeeeelf


love it, love it, love it:)

it is 1 AM here, and I'm listening to this song while working with two computers (1 for landfill project, second for co-generation plant research:) and plenty of papers

and look what I've heard on the Internet radio:)

Switchfoot - Mess of me

do you believe in destiny?

I believe that you can create you destiny yourself, so when you hear that song out of nowhere, it is a certain sign to stop, think and don't make the same mistake with liking wrong persons:)

so now I'm still doing my homework but in addition I'm playing air drums and singing along to that song and not thinking about anything else, except of course for my soon to be happening trip to Finland:)))

pa pa ra ra ra ra

yeah, sing along:

I am my own affliction
I am my own disease
There ain´t no cure they could sell
Ah, there ain´t no drug to make me well
There ain´t no drug

There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
It´s not enough
The sickness is myself

- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!

We lock our souls in cages
We hide inside our shells
It´s hard to free the ones you love
Oh when you can´t forgive yourself
Yeah forgive yourself!

There ain´t no drug
No, There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
The sickness is myself

- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!


There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
No drug to make me well
There ain´t no drug
It´s not enough
I´m breaking up
The sickness is myself
The sickness is myself

- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
The rest of my life alive!!

*I looooove our landfill

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Fray - Heartbeat

not even going to comment

Words of wisdom from Dumbledore

We are are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.

Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.

Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.

"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"

and you can make faces, that show "Pffff, children books are for children only, I'm too smart for that" and go to hell with them, but I will always say, that Potter books are beyond amazing


and what is for religious parents, who think that magic are from devil and children should not be allowed to read about it, then, well, you'd better look through the magazines that you are reading, movies that you are watching and make a conclusion, that Harry Potter books are not so bad if compared to what is going on in the world

and now I probably should add some either Harry Potter or Dumbledore picture, but, well

here it is:

Sean Biggerstaff (aka Oliver Wood)

whaaat? bit unexpected? but I do think he is the most handsome boy out there:)))

*he already was 18, while filming in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone therefore I don't feel guilty:))

I didn't know

that your eyes are so beautiful:)


I have a strong need of looking to some man's blue/gray eyes


that's like a little addiction:)

and it is definitely good, that this is our last week and I won't see that smart, bald, brave, beautiful man until next autumn:))) need no unresponded love crap no more and daaaamn, I must stop liking people so fast:)

anyway, Anne, Nina, Lilia, Marek, Ragnar, we are awesome and out landfill is the best for sure:) It was pleasure to work with you


we rock

Monday, February 20, 2012

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Krubera Cave

The Krubera Cave (or the Voronya Cave sometimes spelled Voronja Cave) is the deepest known cave on Earth. It is located in the Arabika Massif of the Gagrinsky Range of the Western Caucasus, in the Gagra district of Abkhazia, Georgia’s breakaway republic.

The cave remains the only known cave on Earth deeper than 2,000 metres.

The difference in the altitude of the cave's entrance and its deepest explored point is 2,191 ± 20 metres (7,188 ± 66 ft)

Well now I know where I wanna go:)



decided to watch something about either Finland, Sweden or Norway and hey, look what I have found:

and I'm sooooo going to hell (if it exists) for saying that, but I laughed like insane:)))

I'm sorry, I love black humor:)))


If I were Norwegian I probably would had found that tv series too offensive

those Norwegian people do look like not so smart people

nevertheless, I looooooooved it:)

it is like you moved to Lillehammer:)

and oh those angry comments about the way they live there:)

I now will surely watch Lilyhammer on a regular basis


mafia boss who moved to Norway because he liked Olympic Games in Lillehammer

love it:)

*I was right: don't trust a man with mustaches (if he doesn't have a beard)

Friday, February 17, 2012

The philosophy of a victim

Today I finished reading Emma Donoghue "Room: A Novel"

you know, the book with billions of "omg how deep that book is" "that book will make you cry" "wonderful story of a courage" "recommended by some-very-important-newspaper""etc crap on the cover

here is the

Book Description

To five-year-old Jack, Room is the entire world. It is where he was born and grew up; it's where he lives with his Ma as they learn and read and eat and sleep and play. At night, his Ma shuts him safely in the wardrobe, where he is meant to be asleep when Old Nick visits.

Room is home to Jack, but to Ma, it is the prison where Old Nick has held her captive for seven years. Through determination, ingenuity, and fierce motherly love, Ma has created a life for Jack. But she knows it's not enough...not for her or for him. She devises a bold escape plan, one that relies on her young son's bravery and a lot of luck. What she does not realize is just how unprepared she is for the plan to actually work.

Told entirely in the language of the energetic, pragmatic five-year-old Jack, Room is a celebration of resilience and the limitless bond between parent and child, a brilliantly executed novel about what it means to journey from one world to another.

as you probably already understood, I didn't like that book at all

I can't find that thing about those responses are

may be because I didn't like that the story was basically told by 5 years old boy

may be because some of the things that were described in the book are too personal to be described in such colorful epithets (for gods sake it was just a poop)

but I think I didn't like that book because of that philosophy of a victim "But what can I do? Nothing"

Ma got some of my respect back when she told how she tried to escape, but after pill accident she lost that little respect too

seven years in one small room

seven freaking years and all you did were several attempts to escape

but you managed to give birth to 2 kids from your rapist

common sense? nope, haven't heard of it

but now I understand more why people believe in god, they probably think they are locked on our planet like those two were locked in the room, waiting for somebody to save them without trying to save themselves

But what can I do?

that lock on the door could explain why she couldn't escape, but nothing could explain why she didn't die while trying to kill Nick

seven years of rapes, seven years of closed space, seven years without future

it just doesn't make sense for me

Do people agree to live like animals so that they don't have to worry about themselves?

I don't know, maybe because I'm ill I don't have that will to stay alive even being tortured, just to stay alive

I know for sure, I will die in not more than three days, but every single second of those three days I will try to escape and I will try to kill that man

like my Rise Against sing:

But how we survive is what makes us who we are

and I already have too many restrictions in my life so that you can not steal my free will without being punished

I would rather die in that room after I killed criminal, than to wait 7 years to escape and after commit a suicide

it just doesn't make sense for me

but I know plenty of people, who have that philosophy of a victim "but what can I do"

it is just I am surely not one of them

what would you do if somebody put you in a locked room?

Lesson learned from that book: people are weak and they are perfectly fine with that

*and no, I didn't cry while reading that book (the cover lines lied)

**and yes, today I cried while reading "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire"



It just feels right

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


My sister is apparently looking for a Finnish guy for me on the dating sites:)))

how sweet of her:))

but for a month I'm like this boy:

but hey, in the end I will trust everybody again

because I can doubt every single word a person says, but it will drive me insane in the end:)

nevertheless love this song:

Staind - King Of All Excuses

You've lied so much you think it's true
Do you know what the truth is?
How does someone get to be like you?
The king of all excuses

I trusted you
I trusted in you

Staind is awesome

Perfect place

why not to live next to Olympic Stadion?


booked a hostel today

Stadion Hostel

12 people in one room

like whaaaat

but well, it is hard to book a room for two, when you are alone, isn't it?:)

nay, in fact they have private rooms too, but I decided to be with people I don't know:)

mainly because of this photo:

I find wooden furniture extremely comfy


already got confirmation letter, so for 22 eur I will have one of those beds:)


yes, I'm going to see Rise Against and I already have everything covered:)

I'm bit shocked

Columbus Blue Jackets apparently are planning to sell My Captain to New York Rangers



Nash, look in your contract, see, there is a note, that you can stay in the team even if big bosses want to sell you

so why the hell did you agree to even talk to Rangers, if your team needs you

You are not a rat, don't run from the sinking ship, find the tools and fix that hole, for gods sake, you are our Captain, who else can do that?

I'm bit disappointed, yeah, I understand, that he wants to win Stanley Cup and Columbus is currently not the team who can do it


and we need you

like I said before - Columbus is my team and even if Nash leaves, they will always be my team and Rick for me will become some sort of "well, it is worth looking how he plays now once a month", but he will always be my shining Canadian star:) just the level of respect for him will significantly decrease

Columbus Blue Jackets, I'm with you, even though I don't understand your policy of firing people

Rick Nash, I really hope, that you will stay with us, find the strength to fight those big doubtful bosses, we all know, that you love Columbus

Monday, February 13, 2012


Tallink won again:)

I'm going to Finland with them


bought the tickets today

thank you, Internet services

for real, here in Estonia we can do everything through the Internet:)


Superstar is my ship:

I expected the price for both sides to be about 60-70 eur, but apparently when you buy Return on different route tickets (this means that you are not going home on the same day) you get 15% off


48 eur it is


10.03 - 07:30
11.03 - 21:30

suits me perfectly:)

now I'm looking for a hostel for one night

found some variants, now how to decide which one to pick:)

I'm Going to see Rise Against!!!

In Finland!!!

In less than a month!!!


Whitney Houston

Whitney Houston's Cause Of Death Revealed: Alcohol And Prescription Drugs

I'm confused

I don't understand why do all of those people call that "shocking news, Whitney dies, how unexpected"

she was a freaking drug addict for years and probably drunkie too

and yet unexpected?

so for me, what's going on now with all of those stars who sing her beautiful songs and constantly repeat how awesome she was and how suddenly she dies is called not mourning but The Parade of Hypocrisy

where were you when she was using drugs?

where were you when she was drunk all the time?

where were all of those religious sisters with whom she sung so many beautiful gospel songs together?

probably somewhere near, but didn't dare to intervene

I am really sad, that she died, but that is the logical ending of any addict

so it is disgusting how in that Parade of Hypocrisy everybody repeats how they knew her so well and how they loved working with her

if you really had cared about her, you would had done anything to bring her back from that dark place where she spent majority part of her life

that's why I'm confused


Dear Whitney Houston, we all gonna miss you, thank you for your songs

I don't like "I will always love you" song that much, though

My favorite is:

Whitney Houston - I Learned From The Best

I hope your god will help you find the new way

Thank you!

The Biathlon God?

did I somehow get into his brain?

like just right after I called him The God and out of nowhere he won the first start in this season!


I'm willing to call him that all the time, if he continues winning

Congratulations, Ole Einar Bjoerndalen!!!

my first Biathlon love in all times:)))

and don't you dare call him old

While being 38 he still can't beat hell of a lot asses out there:)

Thank you!

I owe an apology

to the man that I probably used to love

I'm sorry for being all that over-dramatic

you really should not wrote me that last letter, but at least you lied to me because you didn't want to hurt me and not because you are coward chicken who lies to your long term girlfriend WITH WHOM YOU FREAKING LIVE NEXT TO ME

those big letters don't mean screaming, but rather:

:) *how did we live without those pictures?

so yeah, I'm sorry for all of that worthless drama, apparently there are muuuuuuuuuuuch more rotten people than you

I promote you back to "nice guy"


but what I know for sure now, is that when a person repeatedly call himself stupid - believe him, then he is stupid indeed

but well, now I take a break and will not be in sorta love with anybody for at least a month:)

I still have great expectations from Rise Against concert in the land of blond boys:)))

Saturday, February 11, 2012

God, Svendsen and The Fray


still no evidence of existence


The Fray:

how are they connected to each other?

well because of me, of course:)

today while watching biathlon when there was Svendsen's start this line started instantly repeating in my head:

I found God

and I haven't heard that song for ages

I guess from now Svendsen is my biathlon God:)) not like The God, just God:))) The God is obviously my Ole Einar Bjoerndalen:)

anyway, I refelt in love with this song one more time, thank you my brain, for bringing it out of my memory:

it is a sad song, but somehow now I feel like if something warm and peaceful crawled under my skin and turned off that endless anger towards certain people:)

seriously, I had watched that video for at least 5 times in a row watching how incredibly awesome those guys are

I love love love love their lead singer (Isaac) eyes and the way he looks straight to your soul:)

magnificent :)

and yes, I find him very attractive, despite all those opinions about his ears and hair and face and everything else:)

just look at him in that black coat in the video

that's what I call superhero:)

and yes, I have weakness towards men in long black coats with high collars:) I can't not to like them:)

Thank you, Svendsen and The Fray

My old goal

we all have our childish dreams and goals and plans

don't we?

well, I'm trying to achieve my one of the oldest one

This is Tic Tac 100 Orange

I always wanted to eat one mint every day, no more no less, for the 100 days

but I always failed in doing that, because it seemed to me impossible not to eat it all in one day:)

my record was 2 days and on the third I ate it all:))

well, now I'm keeping new record of one whole week!!!


and I'm still not planning to eat it all any time soon

so I have 93 days left:)

man up, Jana, test your willpower


Felt in love with this song

no, not Rise Against this time:)))

Shinedown - Bully

it seems to me that bullying is hell of a problem out there

love this line

Seems I’ve crossed the line again
For being nothing more than who I am

what scares me, that some of those bullied kids (once again I used to be one of them) after school will have some serious problems in life

it is not like if it was my problem, but, dear bullies, are you not afraid to be killed for those awful jokes you said years ago?

you see, broken people have broken minds

No ones gonna cry
On the very day you die

but the song is very powerful and I really hope it will help some kid to stay who he/she is without trying to hide

We don’t have to take this
Back against the wall
We don’t have to take this
We can end it all

Problem solved



obviously now I have even more serious trust issues than before

therefore I'm not gonna check phones, computers or anything like that


I will make it easier:)

now, when I will be tete-a-tete with a male person (whether he is a just a guy I barely know/friend/old friend/close friend/the man I love) for more than an hour, I will ask for an official note with the words "I, First Name/Last name, do not have any type of a relationship with a female, whose feelings I may hurt while being with Jana. Date. Signature" and "P.S. If I lie, then I will shave my head and write on my forehead LIAR with permanent marker and I will not hide or wash it off for a week. If I don't do that, then I will donate 1373 euro to Greenpeace." And I will give that paper once a week for the first month and then once a month:)

will add some more contract like lines and done, see you in the court if you lie to me:)

pretty childish, but well, I probably already have some "We hate Jana" angry girls group, who think I am a monster

I will not hurt any girl no more (it is not like I knew that I am hurting them, but still)

so yeah, problem solved:)

* I still don't understand why you lied to me about being alone, for gods sake, we knew each other for years already

** I still don't understand why you didn't tell me about her, because, well, it was not like if we were dating on a serious level, just only like old good friends

*** oh you little liars

and I am already sorry about those papers, but hey, My The One, I have to be sure you don't treat your girls like trash:)

but you will surely understand why do I do that:)




P.S. I'm really sorry

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Good news for me!

Thank you, Columbus Blue Jackets for keeping my Smiling Friend Prospal in the team for at least one more year:))!!!

and one more good news:

Mmmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkoooooooo Kkkkkkkkkkkooooooooooivuuuuuuuuuu is back from the injured list:)

I still think, that Minnesota Wild are one of the worst teams ever (with no specific reason why it is so)

but Mikko Koivu will always remain my Tampere hockey love:)

there are just too much of a good memories back that day:)))

Congratulations to Prospal and Koivu!

Rise Against

louder and louder in my head:)

I am really scared of having heart stroke when I will be in Finland:)

but at least I will die happy in that way:)))

to die for voice:)

to die for music:)

to live for songs meanings


and yes, I'm still melting like a snow on a sunny day when I listen to this part:

So I offered up a plan

We'll sneak out while they sleep
And sail off in the night.
We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives.
When we're gone we'll stay gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's not too late,
We have the rest of our lives




it is really weird:)

somehow I always thought that those stories when somebody lies about all that being all alone thing, while having a long term girlfriend, and finding some excuses for being with one person instead of being with other was some sort of drama movies theme, not to be happening in the real life

thank you, Internet, for being such an open place for getting information:)

what scares me, is that I felt so comfortable with him, like just walking and having some talks and still having that secured feeling

well, wakey wakey Jana:)

yeah, some things were strange and hard to be explained, but I always thought, it was because he was the same weirdo as I am


hard to accept, but it seems to me, that I have to

but that's okaaaaay, I still have hockey and Rise Against:)

I cried


and I love Kristen Bell:)))

that thing about 3 and 7, I have the same problem too:)))my eyes are always wet when I see some crappy movie or when I see something really sweet or when somebody scream at me, and I even went to the doctor with the question "Can you repair me? I'm tired of crying, when I don't want to, but I cry anyway" they didn't help me:))) so it is always good to know, that even professional actress has the same issues:)

therefore I'm trying to be more mean and sarcastic, so that I won't cry:)

but I never have those crying attacks, like Kristen does, I just have teary eyes

Kristen is awesome :)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Estonian Flag

Is like this:

the third color is barely seen, but it is white:)

I know, that Russian people somehow think, that our flag is depressive because of the color combination

in comparison to other former USSR countries we do have a black color and we don't have red:)

so at some point I understand it, but just look at this picture:

does our nature look depressive to you too?

because for me it is the most obvious explanation of our flag colors:)

it is the beach by the way:)

had a walk to my favorite place:)

to the second bench on the Pirita beach:)

there are no benches in the winter by the way

but such a lovely place to be:)

Love Your Land!

Viking Line

I'm planning to buy tickets to Finland this week, because I'm GOING TO SEE RISE AGAINST!!!!


my patriotic heart tells me to buy Tallink tickets, but my poor student mind whispers me, that Viking Line is cheaper

so I have a question, does anybody have any experience with Viking Line?


Looooove this song

and I still can't believe their solo man is already 35 years old

freaking 35, look at his face and if you give him more than 25, then I don't know:)))

Like your face getting forced to the floor

Who is the best team in the world?

Columbus Blue Jackets!


it is good to have at least favorite hockey team, who is always there for you:)

*with no lies


and do you know what?



for the second time in a row:)

that's a lot:)

Jeff Carter #7 of the Columbus Blue Jackets celebrates after scoring a goal during the third period against the Minnesota Wild on February 7, 2012 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. Columbus defeated Minnesota 3-1. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

just look at that guy on the right side in the background

believe it or not, but I put my hands as he did right now:)))

that's the Columbus spirit:))

we rock!


We Salute You!



well of course it is the right time for the good old Staind

sing along:

Do you feel like you're falling?
You've taken this step
In front of you is further from the truth
You fall apart in front of me again


Denial isn't the way to forgiveness
You always swore that I was wrong

Not again
No taste for the crow you feed me

Not again
It's not a matter of if I care
Not again
What an intricate web you're weaving
Did it again

So you try not to follow
While the clock fails to sleep
So here we are back where it began
And toe to toe I stand in front of you again

Denial isn't the way to forgiveness
You always swore that I was wrong

Not again
No taste for the crow you feed me
Not again
It's not a matter of if I care
Not again
What an intricate web you're weaving
Again and again


Not again
No taste for the crow you feed me
Not again
It's not a matter of if I care
Not again
What an intricate web you're weaving
Again and again

Do I?

Nope, I don't

just checked

I don't have a sticker on my forehead with the words "Lie to me"

I don't know why, because apparently people see it and do it:)

Just when I thought that oh, what a wonderful boy

yeah yeah, Jana, suck it up and move on

and I wasn't like it used to were, my reaction was only "well of course he is a liar":)))

somehow I feel like it is normal for people to lie all the time about their lives :)

it is impossibly sad, that the person who knew that much about you is such a liar


when it happened for the first time it was an accident, but when it happened for the second time it is already regularity:) I guess I have to stop being so naive and believe in everything that people say to me

remember I told you, that I never knew some jerk in my life? well now I know:) The Jerk is me:)

for being hopelessly naive and for seeing too much good things in a rotten mankind

I'm not sad, I'm disappointed

but what I know for sure, is that enough of blond Estonian boys

Hello, Finns!:)))

just kidding, there are plenty of good men in Estonia, dark haired Estonians, bald Estonians, blond Estonian Russians, dark Estonian Russians, bald Estonian Russians and blond Finns:)

see, there is always some choice:)

so, my friend, pack your bags and go to hell!

have a nice road!


*gone training building solid rock walls and growing spiky skeleton


oh, you little liars

Saturday, February 4, 2012

We Wooooooon!!!!!


3:2 in OT over Anaheim Ducks


I sincerely don't understand how is it possible to have empty seats on any NHL game, sadly, but in Anaheim there were plenty of them

anyway, We Salute You!!!

Dear Rick Nash, I'm so sorry for what I'm going to say now, but daaaamn, look how attractive John is:

John Moore #4 of the Columbus Blue Jackets skates on the ice before the game against the Anaheim Ducks on February 3, 2012 at Honda Center in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Debora Robinson/NHLI via Getty Images)

When I saw this photo, I laughed like insane:)))Niklas looks like some serial killer who is trying to kill our cutie Aaron:)))Keep your stick on the ice, not on our heads:)

Niklas Hagman #12 of the Anaheim Ducks and Aaron Johnson #5 of the Columbus Blue Jackets collide into the boards during the game on February 3, 2012 at Honda Center in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Debora Robinson/NHLI via Getty Images)

I love how hockey doesn't give a f about gravity:)Brassard looks like if he had been glued there:)

Derick Brassard #16 of the Columbus Blue Jackets celebrates his goal for a 3-2 win over the Anaheim Ducks in front of Fedor Tyutin during overtime at Honda Center on February 3, 2012 in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

For those about to rock, Weeeeeeeee Saaaaaaluuuuuuuuute Yoooooooooouuuuu!!!

The Columbus Blue Jackets celebrate a 3-2 overtime win against the Anaheim Ducks during the game on February 3, 2012 at Honda Center in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Debora Robinson/NHLI via Getty Images)

I love you with all of my heart, Columbus Blue Jackets!


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Katy Perry

today, while listening to my endless music playlist, I heard some old Katy Perry songs

and I was soooooo disappointed in her

she used to were such a lovely person with some hell of a serious songs too

here are my favorites:


Build your house on the rock
Oh not in the sand, in the sand, in the sand

see, the girl used to care more about something serious

Don't you wanna go down in history?

my the most favorite song which I deeply love is "Box":

I started living outside of the box
Crossing over lines where I always used to stop

as far as I know, this song didn't get into some album

and I do think, that auto-tuned Katy is waaaaay worse than real Katy, with no strong voice, but with some message in her songs

so yeah, from those songs to this crap:

I guess that is what is called "sold out"

now she has the money, fame and huge pack of fans, but I really wanna know, does she have any regrets about what is she singing now, if compared to her early songs, before she became famous

I hope she does

she used to be much prettier too:

and now

so, dear Katy, bring back your old songs

Frank Sinatra

pa pa pa ra ra

Why would you do that to me?




Why would you do that to me?

one day I will find you...



the perfect hair dresser:)))

what? and what were you thinking about?:)

I just had another not so bad, but not what I wanted haircut:)

I dunno:)

I even took my netbook and showed pictures what I wanted and how I wanted

I showed it with my hands

and still she made a poodle out of me:)

I seriously don't understand why they all do the same thing with my hair after cutting it? Like I'm some flower girl, fluffy-puffy piece of happy rainbow:)))

which obviously I'm not:)

so like usually the first thing I do after visiting the hairdresser is going back home and redoing it:)

but this time it is bit different, apparently I have to take some ruler with me:)because when I say: 1,5-2 cm you can cut off and as a result I have 5 cm off, well, thaaaaaats a big difference for every girl:)

and I couldn't stop her, because without glasses I'm blind as a mole:)

but that's okaaaay

I will surely grow it back:)

so, dear girls from Tallinn, does anybody have a perfect hair stylist here?

wanna have her/his contacts:)