Monday, December 31, 2012

The biggest holiday

The biggest holiday for Russians is not Christmas, but New Year

that like the ultimate celebration night and morning and day and probably the next evening


Russians in Russia even have 10 days off work:)




we do not give presents on Christmas, but on New Year's night

I love this holiday, but this year I feel like "whatever"

Grinch again, I suppose:)

previous years I waited for this holiday, thought, that New Year is some magical day and tomorrow everything will change and I will be happy

no it won't

it is the same day, only with president on TV and lots of food and presents

and next day you will wake up with the same thought I don't wanna eat, I don't wanna use my medicine I just wanna sleep as long as I want to

but you can and no matter how tired you are, you must wake up and you must eat the food you don't want in order to stay alive

every fucking single day

so, dear healthy people, be happy that you can not eat when you don't wanna eat and you can sleep when you want to:)

tonight we don't sleep

Lasna, be ready, our family is going to have some fun


Happy New Year!!!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

I love you

and always will


hope to see them again


Old pictures

I found a folder from my school times


and this picture, that my friend made for me:

when I declared I wanna be president of Estonia:)))

see, I even had my PR agent and election company:)))

It is winter time

after all


The town

first of all:

Hello, gorgeous!

and right from that moment I knew I love that drama

not really, I knew it when I saw the lying couple in bed

should I say, that was quite unexpected

I like detective stories where the killer is unknown and you don't even know was it a crime or not

I find it interesting

but lately I was kinda bored, because it was all predictable, you already knew who it was after 10 minutes

but not with The town

because you don't even know how the hell did that happen

and one single short sentence:

wakes your imagination up and makes you wonder:



simplicity is always a good thing:) and usually is the hardest too

take that teen horror movie "I know what you did last summer" and there was all clear and understandable, because it has some long story with plenty of details

but here you have that sentence which is possibly the only proof, that your parents are not suicidal crap

or may be it means nothing

may be it is just an answer to some letter like "I think you did a great job with our last project" and the answer was rude "I know" and the printing machine that was programmed to print every mail automatically just broke and started to print multiply times one message and because his parents were die hard green people, they decided to keep them just in case they would need some burning material to lit up the fire


endless space for imagination with one single sentence


I loooooooove it

and I love every single character in that drama

perfectly chosen actors

Andrew Scott is beyond amazing, all the time I wanted to give him a cup of tea and a hug(especially when he cried in the car), because he looked so miserable like if he really had lost his parents in that movie

but I do think, that he has some sort of illness, noticed it already in Sherlock, we are similar type of people, not like antisocial, but a little bit distant

all we have the same broken line movements, we are not moving gently, but rather like robots

we explode when we have too many emotions and we are awesome

do I wanna live with that kind of man?


because it would be hell to be living with the male version of me:)

do I think Andrew is a bad actor?

absolutely no, I think he is great and may be he is perfectly fine and just mimics all those movements which make him even better actor:)

I was intrigued with that drama and I am gonna watch it

with the same question:



Saturday, December 29, 2012

Relaxing image

Alternative Rock X Radio and awesome songs they play

I'm into angry songs today

here are my top two, that I had heard on that radio

Five Finger Death Punch - The Pride

I'm not afraid of dying
Everyone has their time
Life never favored weakness
Welcome to the pride

and yes, I find their lead singer attractive:)))

*his name is Ivan Moody

that would be fun if moody jerk as I am will change her last name into Moody:))) double Moody, the world has no chances to survive:) just kidding, I love my surname:)

and the second one is Switchfoot - Afterlife

I still believe we could live forever


and I would had never thought, that this cutie pie:

 is the lead singer of Switchfoot:

sometimes what you hear is not what you see:) but I don't mind it:)))

and just because I look at a picture of blond man, why not to listen to my happy song with another bearded god

And I know it’s hard when you’re falling down
And it’s a long way up when you hit the ground
Get up now, get up, get up now.


Pink lips

I finally decided to try some color lipstick (I only have colorless)

bought Lumene Heather Pink lipstick, only because I like the words "Smile booster lipstick", not like if I need to smile more :) I smile way too much with the life like mine:) and laugh :) apparently it irritates some people, but screw you! I love this life and you can live in your sad world if you want to

so when I applied it at home I was surprised, thought I had bought some fake one or smth like that, because my lips were exactly the same color it were before

tried on my arm, yeap, works perfectly fine

so, what is the chance of buying the lipstick with the exact same color as your own lips?

I had that:)))

funny to think, though, that some woman buy the lipstick to get your color, while you have it naturally

should I say, that my confidence level reached it all time maximum if I buy products that don't change anything?:)))

I will leave that lipstick as a reminder "Jana, some women wanna have something you already have, you are awesome!"


*but I will buy the very reddish red lipstick next time


Happy people

I love their smiles :)

Moriarty is baaaack!!!

well, not like Moriarty, but like Andrew Scott

remember that evil genius?

well, he is starring in a new three-part drama "The Town"

and I know for sure, what I'm going to watch this evening:)

I'm sure he is a great actor:)

Friday, December 28, 2012

Weird food combination I like

take this pudding:

and this Finn Crisp Original Taste bread

and using crispbread instead of spoon, eat the pudding


 it tastes sooooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooooooooooood

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Harry Potter and Die hard

what do those two movies have in common?

Alan Rickman !

but I admit, it is bit too hard to watch Die hard and see him as Hans Gruber

when it will always be on your mind - hey, it is Professor Snape!!!

it is something like Bruce Willis:

being Dumbledore:)


Cold weather

I often get asked "are you not cold?"

of course I am cold

of course I feel the freezing wind

but what I learned from my body is that no matter how warm my clothes are, my hands always(!) will be cold in the winter

I ever tried super mega gloves with super mega insulation


I tried to wear three pairs at one time


still cold as an ice

I even went to the doctor, she said, yes, your hands are colder that usual, but it is may be something with blood circulation

like yeah

thanks a lot, that was helpful


I do not wear warm clothes even when it is -20 outside

I do not wear hats even if it is -25 outside

because from my experience the best way to keep your body stabilized in the cold weather is when your whole body has even temperature

I can't get dressed warm, because my hands will be cold anyway and when I return home and change to my home clothes I will get such an intense pain, that I will surely cry, I think it is because you have your body warm and when you get to the warm room all of that warmness runs to your cold hands and it feels like billion little needles are stabbing you from the inside and all you wanna do is just cut those damned hands off, because it is really thaaaaaaaaaat painful. What I noticed one day, that when I came home after a long walk in not so warm clothes I felt very cold and my whole body was cold, and it was disturbing, because you can not properly move, buuuuut, your body is evenly cold so it warms up evenly too, without those awful pains

that is why, my friends, I ask you to stop wondering "why are you not wearing a hat and super mega warm jacket"

it is because for my body it is more comfortable to be evenly cold:)

Hair obsession


I have way too much of hair styling products

and I hope to get next one as a New Year present:)))

my niece is already making fun of me:)


I love doing my hair

today her friend came over and they were getting ready to go out when she asked "do you have a hair straightener?"

my niece laughed a lot:)))

she showed her my treasures:)

and my favorite one:

curling wand! :)

yes, sometimes I pretend, that I am wizard while doing my hair:)

like come ooon, it is some kind of magic, that makes your straight hair curly:)))

now I wanna get a curler with bigger diameter

like this one:

and what is weird, I have not a single hair dryer, because they irritate me:)

so yeah, I do have a straightener:)

*and magic wand!!!

I promise

I am making it written:

I promise, I will get all of my studying done by next Monday!

now I will have to do that:)

My heart is broken

not literally

but I almost finished my last bottle of Clinique clarifying lotion

this beauty:

why can not I just buy the new one?

because of this:

We do not conduct animal testing on our products or ingredients, nor ask others to test on our behalf, except when required by law. 
do you see it? they added this part: except when required by law.

What does it mean?

Clinique became so greedy, that they decided that selling their product on Chinese market (where testing is "required by law") is more important than staying non animal tested product

congratulations! I hope you will get the profit, just know, you had lost plenty of loyal consumers and any sort of respect


we loved you

but I loved how Paul Mitchell company reacted:

Hair-care giant John Paul Mitchell Systems pulled out of China after being informed that the company would have to pay for animal tests in order to continue selling its products there.

Paul Mitchell CEO and co-founder John Paul DeJoria put sales in China on hold last year and confirmed they will not sell products in that country in order to remain committed to the company's cruelty-free policy.

Mr DeJoria said: 'Since Paul Mitchell was founded in 1980, we have been cruelty-free.

'We do not conduct or condone animal testing on our products, and we will not attempt to market our products in China until alternatives to animal testing methods have been accepted by the government.

'Paul Mitchell always has been and always will be cruelty-free.

that is how you react when governments ask you for animal testing

Paul Mitchell, you have my love and my money and I will continue buying not so cheap, but cruelty free products!

Country music

I don't like it

I looove it


today I was reading Elle magazine and there was one interview with some style guru and she answered to the question "what is your favorite music?" with "every kind of music except for country, I just don't get it"

like whaaaaat the eff

you listen to every possible electro crap and still don't get country?

hey, at least country has plenty of beautiful songs, interesting voices and unique music

and yet you think that kind of music is boring

or meaningless

or something else

I am not ashamed that I love country

and that I don't like those high society ladies, who think it is very simple music, go listen to your dub step crap with two notes and one mixer


like if they want to forget the music that they were listening to when they were poor kids, come on, Americans, that is your music, be proud of it, don't play "I'm too good for it" games

listen to it

like Eric Church (who looks like Radcliffe) :

Just last night I saw the light
At the end of that tunnel on the other side.
Thought I found my way outta this pain
Only to find your memory train

and Randy Houser:

and the girls are as good as boys

Kacey Musgraves:

Martina McBride:

Sara Evans:


and I always laugh when I hear this song:

I love country:)

Within Temptation

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?

I love that girl

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

The Killers

I'm not a fan of the killers, but those men know how to keep my attention :)


I literally watched the video only because I like the video itself, not the song

and that happens not so often

like a little movie and not like all of those "look, I have a 8 minutes long video, so love it because it is deep and deep again"

nope, they managed to fit the story just right into the song duration

and I admit, now I like the song too

Good job!

*and the lead singer is very handsome




Things I am not proud of


my wicked mind in this wicked world somehow had some wicked theory about Christmas movies in USA

here is the thing, the most popular movie in USA is "It's a Wonderful Life" (1946)

I watched it only several days ago and in color version and I looooooooved it, that movie definitely deserves all the awards, the operator's work is beyond amazing (never would I thought that in 40's you can film so perfectly), the jokes are great and of course the story is very touching, actors are great too, galaxies are great too and every little thing there is great too:) Even the raven!


What I am not very proud of, is the fact that for yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeears I thought that the most popular Christmas movie in USA was this one:

yup, I thought their Christmas movie was about little family in a Nazi death camp

I was pretty much confused when I read all those ratings and thought, why the hell would you watch that movie on Christmas, but was too lazy to find out, so my answer was, well, Americans are probably somehow attached to those story and may be it shows the meaning of life and family (pretty much the way "It's a Wonderful Life" does)

only this December I found out, that because in Russian distribution both of those movies are under one name I thought the death camp movie was that one

lesson for me, never look at ratings in Russian language without English translation

soooooo many yeeeeears had passed with that mystery :)

but now it is solved!

and I should watch more movies in English:)))

and you should watch " It's a Wonderful Life"



in less than a month



Hello new city, Espoo. I hope your maps are more logical than Helsinki's ones:)

I should probably look for a hostel already


I loooooooooooooove going on a little trips


Fire? Fire???


today it was not the fire it was the car accident


or to be more accurate: car vs bus accident

got in between a little misunderstanding with expensive car and big green bus

the car just hit into bus and that was surprising for me, because I thought that it was bus' tire which exploded like the tires on the trucks sometimes do

and while other passengers were excited and scared I was like, okay, whatever


I guess somewhere along the way I lost my ability to be afraid of something besides insects and yetis

it is kinda cool to be calm, when everybody is panicking

people look so funny and I probably look like some black soul in black coat with black heart and bright brain:)))

I should find some insects and try to look at them to test may be I'm fearless now:)

because when you are dancing with the death on a daily basis, the death becomes your buddy, not your biggest enemy

and about that car's driver, despite the little mess his car turned into, he was perfectly fine and had absolutely no problems with moving and speaking and understanding everything

here is another thing: nobody dies when I am around

that's a rule

despite what you are thinking about it


Wicked world

woke up with this song:

I haven't heard it in years and I was never a big fan of it, but still, somehow that song came to my mind when I woke up


and now I may think whatever I wanna think:)

and here is some beautiful and pure song

Did you ever believe?
Were you ever a dreamer?
Ever imagine heart open and free?

Fire! Fire!!!

today I was watching Elementary, when I noticed, that something black is flying around me

some sort of little tiny parts of something

and after a moment I decided to check my candlestick ( the figure of a house) and saw that the ugly black smoke is coming out of the pipe and fire is going out of little windows


that was unexpected:)

I still don't know how did that happen


so I was standing there motionless thinking: okay, that is not right, what would smart ass do

no panicking, no nothing, now it seems to me, I was somebody like Moss:

when I unfroze, I decided to use water, which i had in my room in a spraying bottle

dear friends, spraying flame with water is one hell of a bad idea


at least my hair is still with me:) but that was close


that moment my fire alarm system woke up and in addition to that burning little house I had awful alarm sound

I had plenty of things made of wood in my room, so I decided to somehow replace the house an bring it to the kitchen

took oven gloves and towel and did it


at least my room was safe:)

put it in a sink and decided to use much more water


still am wondering how the kitchen didn't burn down with that huge flame


I didn't want to ruin my towel, but came to a conclusion that I would rather burn one towel than the frole flat:)

thaaaat didn't help much

I waited and waited and waited until the oxygen will burn out and the flame will go down

but that didn't happen either


so why not to use both methods?

I left the towel on a house and turned the water on

that helped:)

what was good about that accident, I know now, that even in a stressful situations I have my calm mind and am able to make decisions (some of them wrong, though) without panicking even if I see, that THE ROOM IS ON FIRE!!!!


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

When you are getting older

you are starting to realise, that blogger speller prefers US version of the world realize over UK's realise



not that

you understand, that people make mistakes, even when they don't know why do they do that

I am not a big "I give you second chance" person

you messed up, you hurt my feelings, you may go now, good luck - that's more like me

but somehow now I understand, that Mr Jerkinsson may not deserve that name

he is a good guy after all, and I am sure, if he could go back and redo things, he would had acted differently

so, Mr Jerkinsson, you are no longer Jerkinsson, because I don't know what were you thinking about and may be you had some serious reasons for setting me up like that (like, you know, I'm some whore, chasing taken men, whose wifes are sitting with their kid at home while he is spending time with somebody else, it is good though, that she was not your wife and you hadn't had a kid ), so from now you are The man I liked and not a jerk

or should I write the whole truth and say, that I was attracted to your beautiful body? if only you could see him:) he was like the perfect man from my list: not very tall, not too thin, beautiful blond hair and to die for ice eyes (like Kimi's!!!)

I guess that is why I let him go so easily, I was not yet(!) attached to his brain, I was not in love with his inner side, but only with the physical appearance

so, thank you, girl, who sent me that letter, you saved me from falling in love with the wrong person for me


and I'm now standing on my only criteria: The Brave One

other options are distracting


but good to look at:)

The Evil one

Came out of nowhere

but apparently the majority of my family think that I am very Evil, rude and impolite person


Happy Holidays to you too

what bothers me, that they don't say it to my face

my lovely sisters and their husbands

gooood for yooooou

I don't help enough (I'm sorry, I will stand on my point of you, if you are 40, you have to learn how to clean your home by yourself), I live with my parents and I will get a good job in the future

the last part I liked the most


that is my fault, that I will get second high education, when they don't have one


I put them under the lock and told them not to study

oh wait, that was not me, it is what's called free will and common sense

my education was not even paid by my parents, I got it free

because, you know, I studied very well in school

I don't know

I would have never thought, that your own sisters can be somehow jealous

but well, you never know

it is sad, though, that they don't realize, that I may have a good job, but they already have their own families

and I will be returning to an empty home, when they are always with their families

and yet, I am the bad one

I didn't force you to be that helpless

I didn't force you to party instead of studying

I didn't force you to get pregnant

I didn't even force you to get another two babies when you couldn't handle the first one

I don't know

it seems to me, that even if you think, that your own family members will always have your back

it might not be true






name a language and I will probably tell you that I tried to learn it

but I am not a big fan of language audio courses


today I tried some French course agaaain

and in the beginning Track one CD 1: Bonjour, Merci etc, like basic useful words

all good and logical and then out of nowhere: Il n'y a pas de quoi and Est-ce que vous pouvez m'aider? and similar sentences

like okaaaay, I know the very basic words and where from did those evil letters came from?

my nerves do not allow me using audio courses without study book where every sentence is written and explained

I get reeeeaaaallllly angry:)

so, dear Audio courses creators, would you be so kind and start using some logical form of each lesson?


Monday, December 24, 2012

No Princess

I guess I've never been a princess material :)

found this old photo today:


2 princesses and homeless girl


but I loved that costume

should go to some costume party next year


Sunday, December 23, 2012

One of my favorite songs

when I was much younger I was a big fan of Staind and sometimes I just sat on the floor witrh my Sony Walkman CD player and listened to this song ove rand over and over again:

most of the times only 2:35-3:11

The monster you're feeding
Your lack of perception
The things that you do
To fullfill your addictions
The light at the end of your tunnel is closing
What is it that you're so afraid of exposing?
You'd give it all up for what's theirs for the taking
Whatever it takes to keep your hands from shaking
The same things you're thinking might make you feel better
The same things that probably got you here

and the second one was this one:

You wouldn't listen even if I told you
Who the fuck am I to say?
You're too busy with the lies they sold you
Another cure to fix your day
Open wide for all the shit they feed you
While the TV defecates
And blindly walk wherever they will lead you
 While the edges slowly fray

and this line is still brilliant:

I've learned that this life's not just a game
Just a line between the pleasures and the pain
it seems to me I was kinda depressed teen back those days:)

yeah, I am so old, that back to my teen days 14 shades of gray was Staind album, not 50 porn book


but I remember that I got over those depressive (but still good) Staind songs with one of their song:

exactly this version, not the album one

I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove it

and it may sound sad, but for me it was sort of a happy song:)

There is only me

I love this song:


Do you believe in history?

or to be more correct, do you believe what history says?

I am not a big fan of history books

whatever history that is

universe, world, country, company etc

I think that every situation can be described and explained in multiply ways

or faked

every history note I read I doubt when I don't like it or accept if I like it (like with Peter I and his letters)

"but Jana, how can you do that, how can you not accept the history written by smart asses"

I can


every story has at least two sides

take for example somebody's history of break up

ask somebody

I am completely sure you will get two completely different stories of one exact same event

and now put it on the global way

I mean wars or smth like that

try to imagine how many possible ways are there

I don't say history books are lying, I say they offer only one way of explaining something and they want you to take it as a fact, so if it is written "Jana is the best woman on planet Earth who lived 1986-2057" you must believe it, because it is in the book and it contains one certain date

but we all know that I'm not

so why do you believe in sentences like "The War of Independence was Israel's costliest war, with over 6,000 Israelis were killed and 15,000 wounded"

somehow people believe in numbers

I did it myself in school, when we were writing some composition on European Union I added there numbers taken from my imagination, it was something like "...and the cost of bread in countries increased by 27%..." I really wanted to write maybe 39, but decided that number is way too high. Why 27 and not 30? Because when person sees 27 instead of 30, he/she suggests that "hey, that is very strict number therefore it must be true". I got 5 on that composition with comment, that "For good knowledge of subject"

like reeeeally?

that was my first and the last composition I wrote with numbers, after that I always had chosen themes of literature not economy

I hope that you will doubt every single fact you read about

Doubt everything!

or create your own reality


Saturday, December 22, 2012

Adelitas way

some good music

People that complain a lot

I don't like them

always complaining

especially when they are complaining about my district

I live in Lasnamäe

I had lived here all my life

it is the biggest city's district and one of the most criminal one

we are something like city's ghetto

only that I love it

and yesterday I read one comment about Lasna saying: I hate Lasna, gray roads, gray buildings, gray people and even weather there is gray

like whaaaaaat the eff

roads are gray and black everywhere in Estonia

what do you want, yellow brick road or what?

here it is:

imagine every Lasna street covered with colorful asphalt

well I am pretty sure you would kill yourself because of the constant eye distortion

good luck with that

about gray buildings

I like it, they are not even gray, consider it different shades of white

and most of the houses have colorful siding now, so that par tof the comment is completely false

gray people are not really gray, we have colorful Russian style girls, plenty of them, pleeeeeenty

I, myself, prefer black, and I wear black almost all of the time and I am not ashamed of it, black is very beautiful color and I like when people wear black, it is appropriate, I do like, though, when little kids wear different color clothes

what do you want

something like that?

I prefer men in black:

aaaaand the weather, like, we are not some megalopolis, the weather is pretty much exactly the same in every district :) check the weather forecasts

I guess it is some group of people, that complain about every little thing

I love Lasnamäe the way it is

I literally can live here without even going to old town (which is 5 minutes on the car, btw), we have everything here, except for hospitals, we have medical centers but not those in which you can get operations

stop complaining bitches, may be it is you, who is gray, not the world you are living in

Friday, December 21, 2012


is still handsome

Peter the Great

Sometimes I have troubles imagining how was it: living in the old times

just try to imagine

you are the king of Russian empire

every little thing you do, will be talked about

and being the king (or in Russian: tsar) of such a big country must be hard

millions and millions of people depend on you

that one reason not to sleep well out there


but on the other hand, it some ways, it was much easier

I absolutely loved the way Peter I changed the old Russian alphabet

he just decided that the old alphabet is to hard to replicate and therefore too hard to write or type anything

so what had he done?

Changed it!

yeap, that simple it was

here is the actual page:

just look at it, he simply crossed out the letters he found being over complicated and replaced it with simple and clean ones

I loooooove that:)

just try to imagine how much of a brain pain will it cause today if you try to change anything in your country alphabet


Thursday, December 20, 2012

Happy the end of the world day!

and I ain't even sad that we all gonna die

but we are not

well, at least not today:)

and I remembered I had an account in Pottermore

played today


I'm awesome, I know:)

but I reeeeally suck in making potions


gimme Voldemort, I'm gonna fight with him

and yes

shut up

that game is not for the kids only:)))

Have a nice, but not last, day!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Easy way to let go

today I noticed that I hadn't sent any email or text message to the one I loved

and I don't even feel bad

I am not really missing him

I am not really willing to share any information with him

I guess I found the way to let the person go

don't shut him/her off your life in one day

like I did

do it slowly

like I did too


it is like one letter less each day

one message less each week

and the desire to share anything with him/her slowly fades away

but be careful, when it is gone, it is gone, you won't be able to fall in love again with that person, because you will remember all the sufferings that you had taken and you will always remember the feeling of being free

you don't have to be brilliantly smart to guess which way is more healthy for you:)

it will take some time, but at least it won't be "unfinished business" for the rest of your life


I don't know why. I just know


Space minute

The Cassini Imaging Central Laboratory for Operations (CICLOPS) team have processed a magnificent view of Saturn that is rarely seen -- a portrait from the dark side of the planet.

This may look like an Earthly hurricane but it's actually something much, much larger: it's an enormous cyclone that's swirling above Saturn's north pole, captured in a raw image by NASA's Cassini spacecraft on November 27, 2012.

Sept. 30, 2012 -- Saturn's southern reaches are draped in the shadow of the huge planet's iconic ring system in a spectacular new picture from NASA's Cassini spacecraft.

At the end of time, a moment will come when just one man remains. Then the moment will pass. Man will be gone. There will be nothing to show that we were ever here... but stardust. Sunshine (2007)

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Monday, December 17, 2012

Biathlon and Eurosport

Sometimes I laugh so hard, that I cry:)

The Russian commentators that are working there commenting biathlon and cross-skiing are probably the best commentators:)))

The best joke so far was "Like, yeah, whose back can be more annoying than Fourcade's one. No ones!"


and I know that is probably not ethical and so on, but daaaaamn, they are funny:)))

Fourcade for me is forever "the most annoying back owner":)

btw, Fourcade is somehow more human like now too

he actually can be tired too

that is good to know:)

I love biathlon

especially when there is no hockey available on TV

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Dull life

sometimes you find a song from the old songs and listen it like for the first time

today this is that one:

Well, it's a dull life
It's a dull life
It's a dull life
It's a dark place
I don't like the lyrics though

or even the way she sings

but I can't stop listening to the music

I like those complicated songs, that sound like if it consists of three different songs


Still funny



at least I tried


Thursday, December 13, 2012

I have no heart

it scares me a bit

I thought that my december song was an accident, that I am not that hopeless

but well

here is another one old sad love song:

and you know what

I used to imagine a girl standing in front of old house looking for her long gone boyfriend all that sad and lonely

but not now

now all I could think of was that line:

And I miss you
Like the deserts miss the rain
wanna know what I was thinking about?

bio diversity!

yup, no heart, no feeling left:)

I thought that hey, wait a second, if it starts raining in the desert all the time, then all of those animals, plants, insects that live there will die, because they are not capable of changing so fast

Deserts don't miss rain, deserts have as much rain as they need to have

basically that means, the girl needs to suffer all the time, because if she stops, she will change into another person and apparently that it is not what she wants

Man up, girl!

wasting your life on people who don't need you is the worst possible idea ever!

believe me, I know:)

here is the man up song for you:

if I can't listen to my old songs, I can listen to those lovely game songs


sooooooooomewheeeeeeeeeeere over the rainboooow

I need my own chapel of science


I realized I hadn't wrote anything about my last trip to Helsinki:)

well it was awesome as always:)

except for tourist maps


still hadn't worked out how to use those little evil pieces of paper

and neither my friend:)

so I'm not the only dumb blond, there are at least two topographical cretins out there:)

what I wanted to write about is Kamppi Chapel of Silence

and dear friends, if any religion should exist, it is that one!


Kamppi chapel of silence, situated on the busy Narinkka square, offers a space of retreat and encounter daily from early morning until late in the evening.

The chapel is not meant for congregational services or ceremonies although staff members of the Helsinki city congregations and social services will be available for conversation. The sense of calm will instead be supported by having small-scale gatherings.

First of all, how can you not like that building?

you may not even enter it and already fall in love with it:)

but you really should go there

This room:

 is that place of silence and I have to say, that sitting in the silence while breathing in those wonderful smell of wood

Light streams down the perimeter wall from a void within the ceiling, illuminating the surface of the oiled alder planks. The warm interior is additionally furnished with seating of solid wood.

My photo is a little bit dark, so here is the promo one:

and you don't need anything, you just sit there and imagine you are in the woods with no insects:) The light is impressive, the wood is outstanding, the design is marvelous

I strongly recommend you visiting that place even if you are as die hard atheist as I am

you feel complete there

no worries

no holes in the heart

no proplems

just slowly floating in your own calm mind