Wednesday, November 30, 2011


So I'm dancing in the ashes of the bridges I burn

Speaking about tomatoes

Attaaaaaack of the killer tomaaaaaatoes


even today that song makes me laugh:)

but don't make jokes about tomatoes

or one day they will get their revenge

sing along: atttttaaaaaaaack of the killer tomaaaaatoes

Look who is back

Apparently I missed the epic return of Blink 182

I didn't like their first single, therefore I put this one:

Blink 182 - After Midnight

I can't get my feet up off the edge
I kind of like the little rush you get
When you're standing close to death

and yet again, Tom is awesome:) you can throw rotten tomatoes at me, but I do think, that Angels and Airwaves with Tom are waaaaay better than Blink 182 (although Blink have a lot of good songs too)




Goooooo, Bjoerndalen, Svendsen, Berger and Boe


Ole Einar looks so interesting on this photo:

Almost forgot about this


now it is better:)

But what the hell are we searching for?!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The little things that make my heart sing

My room is slowly getting illuminated

and I know, that it is not yet even December


but I love lights and snowflakes

this led tree is my new one, and I wanted to buy it for I don't remember how long:)

and this one is the oldest thing in my lighting love:

and even after 10 years, it makes my heart softer:)

due to that I have a yellow roller blind, because of that lamp my whole window is beautifully yellow and you have no idea how comfy it is in my room with that thing:)

especially when it is snowing outside


I'm definitely a winter person:)

and you haven't seen my snowflakes yet:)))

It is almost Winter!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Washington Capitals and Columbus Blue Jackets

Well that came out too quickly

Caps fire Bruce Boudreau and hire Dale Hunter

I never liked Washington Capitals, but I always had a respect for their coach, because of all of the tough personalities he had to work with in one team and make that team play well

and I know the results, that Capitals show lately

but I can't get rid off that feeling, that Bruce was set up by his team

may be they had some conflicts there, but I do think, that it was Ovechkin and Semin whcoo started all of that mess

and all of their mean jokes about the coach in twitter

I don't know, may be the crown became too heavy to wear it, Ovechkin?

may be you should practice more, instead of having your wax figures?

Somehow I'm worried now, because, after all our Scott Arniel is walking on the thin line and now with Boudreau being available he has a lot of thing to be afraid of

and I know, that I was mad at Scott for our results, but now, when the possibility of loosing him is higher that ever, I realized, that I like him a lot

because I know, we are similar, he trusted Mason as much I did and replaced him with Sanford a little bit way too late, but I would have done the same, because, come on, Mason is our goalie and if we don't have hopes for him, then who will? it is bad for the coach to worry that much, but it is good for being a noble person.

Funny how we don't truly appreciate what we have until it's gone

and not only about coaches, but about everybody

As a conclusion: Ovechkin and Semin - I doubt your behavior,

Boudreau - I feel sorry for you,

Arniel - we will not let you go

and yes

We Will Win!

I cried

I laughed so hard, that I cried:)

for Russian understanding people:

I don't like that channel, but that video is way too funny to ignore it:)

*except for the first video about cats, because it was too cruel

but that part about the most calm driver in the world made my day:)))

edu, edu ja spokoino na mashine, op, problema, ja ee reshil i edu edu ja spokoino na mashine:)) (I'm driving, driving calmly in my car, op, problem, I solved it and I'm driving, driving calmly in my car)

I don't know, whether you know, but well, Russian people don't stay calm in those types of situations, they use hhhhhheeeeeeeeeeell of a lot of curse words


Sunday, November 27, 2011

Do you trust them?

and by them I mean: army, police, firemen, doctors and government (parliament)

on the scale from 0 to 100 I trust:

army 95%

police 97%

firemen 100%

doctors 47%

parliament 53%

I don't trust doctors, because I don't think that so popular Tartu University gives good medical education, sorry about that, but I do think, that when you study medicine with the constant thought: I'm so gonna run to Finland, because they have so much higher salaries, it is not the right motto to be a doctor

run, rats, run

you don't run outside the country for the money, you should go for the knowledge and experience and then go back

and I can show you a lot of prescriptions notes which I had never used (and now we have digital prescriptions) but because that company offered my doc some free travel she had to advertise them


I'm not gonna pay for your vacation and I don't need that crap anyway

the only doctors who I respect with all of my heart are cardiologists and surgeons

about army, police and firemen, I think that people who say that our police is not reliable and all they wanna do is to put you in the jail, well, I guess, those people had some problems with illegal actions and got caught

I feel that I can trust them completely, I saw how they work and I liked it

I don't trust parliament mainly because of Estonian Centre Patry, I'm sorry, but the older you get, mister Savisaar, the more you look and act like corrupted Russian deputy, you do not admit your mistakes and simply close your eyes and ears ignoring the questions you can't answer

here is the thing, we don't need Russian crap here, no matter how often you visit your friends there and probably learn new ways of stealing money

I do think that Estonian Centre Party is like United Russia (Edinaja Rossija) and if they will continue being so Russian puppy like, then we will surely have some issues

it is sooooo good, that they are not the only party here

So, my big anarchist in me is almost happy with current situation, the only reason, why I'm still not in an anarchy society is because of that endless love towards police and army

may be I should start my own party

Do you remember when you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire?

Updating my playlist

why hadn't I done it earlier?

updating my playlist

the easiest way to replace something is to fill that with something new, so why bother listening old songs, which are already associated with certain person, when you can find hell of a lot good ones:)

Switchfoot - Dark Horses

sing along: laaa lalalalala laaa

we are the dark hooooorseeeees

We’re singing…
Wait, don’t care what they say
We know we’ll find a way
Yeah! We are the dark horses

Something had changed

Went back to normal:)

The world is perfect, the people are smiling and snow is soon to be expected (kinda late this year)

the magic of winter:)

I have two favorite songs with "December" word in the title

they are both quite slow but winter is bit slow, because you don't need to hurry in December, just relax and enjoy the winter:)

Linkin Park - My December

Club 8 - Love in December

Don't you worry
I'll be there for you

Don't worry about me
you know me better than that

Don't you worry
I'll be there for you

I'll catch you if you would fall
I'll catch you if you would fall

Saturday, November 26, 2011

You know that I love you

I am sure you do


over Buffalo

and you may think, that I betrayed my second best team with expressing so much happiness over their loss, but, dear Buffalo, you always will be the second one but I will always chose Columbus Blue Jackets over you:) (especially, when Miller is injured)

Ryan Johansen #19 of the Columbus Blue Jackets chases down a loose puck in the first period against the Buffalo Sabres on November 25, 2011 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

R.J. Umberger #18 of the Columbus Blue Jackets celebrates his second period goal against the Buffalo Sabres with Fedor Tyutin #51 and Ryan Johansen #19 of the Columbus Blue Jackets on November 25, 2011 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images

my little hockey heart is singing so loud now:)


and I just have to say, but, Sanford, you are hell of a good goalie:)

One word






To go or not to go?

Friday, November 25, 2011


Hello, hello remember me?

I'm everything you can't control

Evanescence - What You Want

I didn't like this song, when I heard it for the firs time

but somehow now this song always makes me smile:)

Tear down the walls and free your soul

Litterateurs and engineers

Due to my instant love for libraries I've seen plenty of books

What I know now, is that engineers rock:)

It is funny how almost every book, which was written for litterateurs are filled with hand written notes (library book!) and science books are clean (and not because nobody reads them)

you know, that type of people, who lives in theaters and knows plenty of useless words and always compares their lives with literature and always thinks that engineers are some sort of low class people with no manners, apparently have no respect for people who will use this book after them, that's why they are filled with their notes

Therefore, Engineers rock!:) we not only create something but we respect each other:)

Engineer hug to all engineers and scientists in the world!:)

I always introduce myself as "surveyor, who soon will be wasteland creator, builder and owner"


and you can write different essays on whether Dostoevsky wrote his books at nights or in the mornings, deep down inside of you, you feel, that engineers rock:)))

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

New challenge

I haven't done anything with my brain in a while (except of course for training my brain and body to low temperatures)

Due to that I have plenty of negative thoughts lately, I decided that it is the right time to turn to the bright side

so lets raise the stakes, I will pay 10 euro to the first person who will find any negative thought in this blog starting from now

Start day is November 23, end day January 1

but I can use "what the hell" and "crap" words:)


Dispatch - Headlights

Your life collides with mine




is that all you need?

Today I wrote a test with some other students from various faculties

All I managed to write was my name and questions and then the boy who was sitting next to me offered me : "Can I write this test instead of you?" and that smile, oh that creepy smile, you know, girls, like you are already naked in front of him

What the hell

is that really all you want? a picture next to you?

I've never understood that

it is like, okay, I'm not ugly and some yeti-like girl, why is that not enough for you from my appearance?


I know, I will be the most beautiful woman in 5 years, but I will never get rid off that "and where were you, when I was not so attractive?" feeling

It freaks me out, that most of the boys somehow use only ancient instincts of getting the most boobiest or the most sexual woman in the world:( The thing is, I can promise you to be beautiful today, but I need to know, that if tomorrow I get hit by bus, you will still be there and not like some cave man "target lost, search for the new one":(

*I wanted to hit that boy's face to the table

In no way I'm some feminist, I love when man holds the door for me or doesn't use curse words when talking to me

Like every girl in the world, I want to feel, that my man can solve every problem with dignity and can protect you in every dangerous situation

but how can you be that man, if you felt in love only with my body, and not with my overloaded inner evil person that I am?

and you can say, that "oh, well, another ugly girl talk"

the thing is, that I'm not ugly anymore and still feel the same

*and no, I will not be with you, only because you are too afraid to ask that blond girl out

I know, that you are somewhere near, because I had met plenty of wonderful people in my life

just remember, that may be my bus is already on the way to hit me and you won't have much time with me

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I told you

my boys are the best:)

Congratulations to Columbus Blue Jackets for winning two games in a row for the first time this season!



I am so so so proud:)

wanna hug you all:)

Jeff, I'm not yet ready to announce you the member of my team, but if you will continue playing like a good hockey player must play, then we will have another talk:)

Jeff Carter #7 of the Columbus Blue Jackets smiles at Curtis Glencross #20 of the Calgary Flames before taking a face off during the third period on November 21, 2011 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. Carter had two goals as Columbus defeated Calgary 4-1. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

and you may think, he has a beautiful smile, but read his eyes, they are screaming "suck it up, bitches, Jeff is awakened"

Derek Dorsett #15 of the Columbus Blue Jackets and Curtis Glencross #20 of the Calgary Flames talk with each other during the fist period on November 21, 2011 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

I love this photo:) it gives me some village feelings:) like "can I borrow a cup of sugar from you"

Rene Bourque #17 of the Calgary Flames attempts to skate the puck past Fedor Tyutin #51 of the Columbus Blue Jackets during the second period on November 21, 2011 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

Fedor is probably asking "can I see your license, please"

and it seems to me, that soon there will be no Mason as first goalie in our team

Meet Sanford:

Curtis Sanford #30 of the Columbus Blue Jackets stops a shot from Rene Bourque #17 of the Calgary Flames during the second period on November 21, 2011 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

We Will Win!!!


I usually give nicknames to the people that I see pretty often

and I knooow, I knooow, that I prefer to be either tete-a-tete (to get to know the person more) or alone (I have something in my conscious that shuts down my interest if there are more than 3 people in the group, like if "okay, now you can talk to each other and I'm out"):))

anyhow, if you know me, then you probably have a nickname already:) if I know you bit more, then you probably have an association with the animal, and if I like you then you have all of those + song association and a mental picture

yes, it is so complicated being me, but I'm okay with that:)

for example in my university group there is a trio of "The Cutie, The Blondie, The Baldie":) they should create a band with that name:))) The Cutie is actually something more like "The Red head", but his hair color is not that significantly red, so I had to replace it with The Cutie:) *they are all very handsome

I had worked with : the brown bear, the polar bear and the squirrel in one company

and with "The zzzexy hairy legs" in another (shut uuupppp, you have not seen his legs)

of course I have girls whom I don't like, for example for cheating on the man I used to like a lot, her nickname is "The Big Bitch B" (I still don't get why he loves her anyway, like really, open your blind eyes, pathetic boy)

then I have "The Blond Brain" and he is the smartest man I had ever met

don't woooooorrrrryyyyyyyy I willl beeee fiiiiiiineeeeee

I have a nickname for myself too "The Unstable"

it used to be "the little black cloud" due to my obsession with a certain person that ate me alive, but then I decided to promote myself to Unstable, because I'm unstable:) except for the things and people who had earned my trust:) for them I'm always good:)

*for real, Prisma, when will you get tired of my clumsiness, yesterday I bought there peppers, which I forgot to weight, so the cashier wanted to send me back to weight it, but I told her, "okay, I don't take them, because there are already people standing in the line" she answered, that don't worry about it and left herself for getting the price:) like whaaaaat:) and it is not like they cost a lot of money, for the three I paid not more than 1,5 euro:) my question is: can I buy shares of that company?:))) Never Rimi or Maxima or Konsum will be as good as Prisma:)

so yeah, ask me what your nickname is and I will tell you:)

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Lord of the Rings (The Fellowship of the Ring)

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king

you must be really boring person, with no imagination if you don't like J. R. R. Tolkien

Renewed shall be blade that was broken


that's my cat name:)


can be used as:

"You are such a wonderful cat, Afanasii"




"Eh, Afanasii"

depends on whether you are angry on him or not:)

he is still wild, but I like him anyway:)

Remember the famous smiling cat?

well, my cat is evil smiling cat:

he is pretty serious cat:

when he is not hanging on the curtains and plays with his toys:)

and he has sort of beautiful fur (even veterinarian said, that he is interesting cat):

my evil wild cat, Afanasii


Shinedown - Diamond Eyes:

what the heeeeeeeeeeeell

I need a man

not like a man

but Man


tired of those ghosts of "what if"

but still somehow can't get over it

see, girls

you shouldn't create the man you love from the man who is not interested in you:)

that song is amazing

I'm on the front line
don't worry I'll be fine
the story is just beginning
I say goodbye to my weakness
so long to the regret
and now I see the world through diamond eyes

goodbye to my weakness

now I think, that I missed all that teenage love crap, because I can't love not for the end of my life:)


now I wanna get myself a snowboard and break all of my bones because of that song:)

*because setting buildings on fire is not legal in Estonia

and yes,



Saturday, November 19, 2011

Eyes Set To Kill

I love them more and more

Eyes Set To Kill - Ticking Bombs

Friday, November 18, 2011

Internet Radio

Can I recommend you what to listen to in Internet?

Of course I can:)

The Best Internet Radio Station is ... dot dot dot ... The Buzz (181.FM)


you can listen to plenty of good music here:

Alternative Internet Radio Stations

But I strongly recommend The Buzz

*and yes, they play Rise Against:)))

I've been listening to it for I don't know how many years

And it is still good


I don't know how to explain this

but I'm sure I won't be able to make it to my 35

I used to see my future very brightly, but for the last two months it is always black

and that feeling

you know, the one, that makes you shiver

like your death is standing really close to you and watching you

but don't worry:)

I'm not planning killing myself:)

and I will not die in the next few months

I just know, I will not get old

may be that means, that WE ALL GONNA DIE IN 2012:)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

My favorite book of all times

is not Larsson's "Millenium" trilogy:)

There is only one book, that I've read four times and it is Marie Corelli "The Sorrows of Satan"

don't worry, this book is not about how awesome Satan is and why we all should love him(or her)

nope, this is the book about how ugly people can be, how easily they betray each other and how they all depend on what other people think about them and their families (ignoring their own feelings)

in other words, you can buy almost anything and anybody if you have money

but it is not thaaaaat hopeless, there are good people in that book too

it simply shows how can you ruin your life if you live it how other people expect you to live it and you are simply too afraid to stand for your choices.

When I first read it I was about 15 years old and I instantly felt in love with that book

and 10 years later it is still as good as it was

Just remember to stay who you are and ignore all of the talks

and please, don't be afraid to differ

and don't be afraid to live

I've looked for this book in our book stores for I don't know how long, and still I can't find it or any other book by Marie Corelli:(

so the only one I have is my old Russian book, with the wrong author:) Yeap, may be in 25 years it would be rare edition, but on the cover of my book the author is not Marie Corelli, but Bram Stoker, although the book is the same "The Sorrows of Satan". I guess it was some typographical error. I can't find even some new edition of this book in any language here in Estonia, it is like everybody had forgotten about it

But you can read it here (and believe me, it is worth reading):

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Digi TV is eeeevil

or at least I think so


here, in Estonia, we are slowly switching from analog tv to digital tv signal

I have digi box now, but our relationship is not that great

mainly because it constantly hits me with electricity:)))

like for real, I installed it yesterday, and so far my hand is still shaking a bit


and now I have KHL channel

it is like you are almost there, in the land of big hockey

but you are not

*I need Viasat Hockey

and I'm not really sure why do I need that box, because Eurosport (both) and Discovery channels are those rare things I sometimes watch:)

but well, now I can watch biathlon in a higher definition:)

**note to self: subscribe to viasat hockey, my tv on the wall is tired of collecting dust

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Our hopes are gone

But we were great



And, dear team, remember, we love you no matter what

This picture shows what Estonia thinks about previous game judging:

Thank you for the game

Monday, November 14, 2011


Sometimes I get jealous of people who know how to play guitar

how can you possibly hate Rise against?

he is so so so so so so so so handsome

and that voooice


Sunday, November 13, 2011


You know that I love you and believe in you, don't you?


Ryan, you are our new star

And who the hell cares about gravity in hockey?

Andrew Ladd #16 of the Winnipeg Jets jumps to avoid the puck while screening Steve Mason #1 of the Columbus Blue Jackets during the second period on November 12, 2011 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

Zach Bogosian #4 of the Winnipeg Jets trips Samuel Pahlsson #26 of the Columbus Blue Jackets while chasing after a loose puck during the third period on November 12, 2011 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. Columbus defeated Winnipeg 2-1. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/NHLI via Getty Images)

Dear Steve Mason, I hope that this win will return your self-confidence

Columbus Blue Jackets is my team "in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow"


Saturday, November 12, 2011

Estonian Football team

made me proud yesterday

and despite the awful 0:4 loss, I like them:)

the whole old city was full of Irish people:))

like for real, the only free place in the coffee house we found, was the one with no TV in it:)))

and yes, I put my Estonian scarf over my Columbus scarf on my bag:)

and I do think, like every single Estonian person in the world, that we didn't deserve those 2 red cards

btw, I've never noticed, that Irish people are so handsome:) they have such round faces and apparently I like it:)

nevertheless the blue colored fans are still the best:)

From aaaahhhhh to (empty space)

I was really angry yesterday

remember that teacher I told you who was almost perfect man?


after the first lesson I started to loose interest in him (yeap, sometimes it happens really fast)

so I started to miss some lectures

because the information he gave us, was Captain Obvious like:)

and if I can't get new information and I don't like the teacher, then why bother attending all the lectures?


because he has the system of points, and if you attend his lecture, then you will have 4 or if you are not then 0


I still think it is some gesture of despair, like "please, please come to my lectures"

and I don't get it, some teachers have the same system, but you can get your A/B mark if you pass some extra exam, because the main point of the subject is that you have to know the subject, not that you have to sit in the room

anyway, I barely passed the lowest crossbar

and it doesn't bother me that much, that I have the lowest grade possible, it bother me that I have the knowledge of the subject and because I miss some lectures and didn't have time to present the game (and you may believe me, my Green Wizard game plan was perfect) I almost failed the subject

so, dear mister Noname, screw you:)

At the beginning I wanted to protest over my grade, but then I realized, why bother, I know what I have to know, and that grade isn't worth my time

on the other hand the subject I thought was the most boring subject in the world (Environmental laws) turned out to be one of the most interesting ones

and I don't draw screaming people anymore:)

like for gods sake, they want to drill really really deep hole in the sea, and use it as a possible energy source and to mine granite too (or it is more like, while you drill the hole, you mine the granite and then use the hole to produce electricity)

like whaaat

I knoooow

that kind of information stays in the mind and make you want to explore more:)

I guess, the first impression, no matter what people say, is not always the right one


*probably like this one, only way smaller (about 10-20m in diameter)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Why are you smiling?

You know that I'm gonna hurt you now

That's what my dentist said to me


not really, I was simply happy, because I'M GOING TO SEE RISE AGAINST:)


and apparently I got the ticket at the very last moment, because the concert is already sold out:)

I like my dentist, but I do think, that she worries about me too much

yeah, yeah, I know I have unusual sensitivity

come ooon, my brain is bit slow in things which are connected with senses


we always have the same routine:

she makes me anesthesia

then we wait

and wait

and wait

and when she asks me do you still feel the tooth?

I answer: yeap

then she takes another medicine, bit stronger

and we wait

and wait

and wait

and suddenly I feel that anesthesia coming like waves in my mouth:)

sometimes I even shiver, so unexpectedly it hit me:)

but not like in a dangerous way, simply, like if I got a little electric shock:)


note to people who have lower lip pierced: take it out while sitting in the dentist chair

*I'm not taking it out, so it feel like my lip is tortured by all of those tools

I guess I'm not the best patient in the world:)

But at least I'm always smiling:)

especially when I see the receipt, oh those endless numbers:)


He looked at the fields
And then his hands,
"All I need is what I have"
then shed a tear of happiness

All gone are the old guards
Gone are the cold, cold wars
Weightless we go forth
On wings of amnesty

I don't know how I would be able to get through their concert:)

so many good songs so little time to play them all:)

fun fact: when I just started to talk to that-person-who-is-not-THAT-person-anymore I had a note in my windows live messenger that Rise against are coming to Estonia

So, Dear my The Real Only One, do you see the connection? Rise against are coming again:))To Finland but still, so it is the perfectly right time to show up:)))




Monday, November 7, 2011

Asteroid Flyby

Meet asteroid 2005 YU55

such a cutie, isn't it?

400 m wide

it will be flying by today and tomorrow

it will be getting to our planet as close as 324,600 kilometers

The last time a space rock as big came as close to Earth was in 1976, although astronomers did not know about the flyby at the time. The next known approach of an asteroid this large will be in 2028.

so yeah, wave to it, if you see it:)

or make a sign: Hello, Asteroid 2005 YU55 and put it in your backyard


Dear Columbus Blue Jackets

stop being so pathetic

get yourself a ticket to Rise Against and move on

to the Stanley Cup!

no Hitchcock for Columbus Blue Jackets (congrats St. Louis Blues)

and I had great hopes on him

but well, Arniel, you have a little bit more time for waking up

Hit the table and make our boys play

9:2 is way too much

I will love my Columbus Blue Jackets no matter what, but really, boys, lets start playing

I had watched that awful 9;2 game, and I was confused, that was not my team, who play clean and organized, those were players chasing the puck with no strategy

and yes, we have agaaaain plenty of injured players, but still, have you forgotten, that we are one team and not a bunch of players or what?

I still love you and always will and for me you are My Team

and I'm not angry at Mason, because if the rest of my team played well, then Mason would had no job and apparently the opposite teams live next to our net and thats why our poor Mason has so many goals missed

Suck it up and lets get back to where we were, clean and organized

enough of fighting or pointing on Steve Mason or Arniel

stop being such media stars and get the hell back to hockey

can you hear me?

Columbus is not just about Nash, Columbus is about all of us, so shine my little hockey stars

and dear Rick, grow your beard back, with those mustaches you look like crap

Come on, boys

We will win this season!

I believe in you!

just believe in yourselves too

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Rise Against and Jana

Will meet soon:)))

10th March to be exact

Well thats what I call good investment:)))

yeah, I'm getting studentship (don't ask me how, I still don't understand that, keeping in mind how many lessons I miss all the time, but well, I guess I'm pretty smart)

and one ticket cost me a liiiiitle bit less that my one month studentship:)


I still don't get it, why I bought it like that, because like always I was planning to buy it when I will have some more free money, but today it hit me, stop living with the past in your head, start building your future, yeah that means that I have to cut down my food money, but if thinking positive, I eat a lot of crap

Everything happens for a reason, so I will get everything 10.03 while singing and jumping in the crowd of my people



in the land of handsome blue eyed blond men, who love hockey so much:)))


that also means, that I will spend the night on Helsinki streets this time alone, but I have no problems with that:)))


Thank you, Internet, for pdf-tickets and Visa Cards :)))

anyway, if somebody from Estonia comes too, then I'm more than exited to meet you there:)


my sunshine

I have no idea, how many times I've listened to their songs on repeat:)))

it is in my blood and brain

and we will surely have a lot of fun in Helsinki, because I am awesome in being in the unknown city:)))


*I have my first Finnish language lesson on Tuesday

**gone practicing jumping




New plan

Due to "finnõ4ertovõljubitelihokkeja" buying championship tickets so fast, that they are already almost gone, we have a new plan now

We = Helen and I

I am sure, that somehow in the end we will find the tickets, but just for revenge, because being hockey fan is so nerve wracking and pricey, we decided to renew Draughts society

Here is the plan: after hockey championship we will go to draughts championship or other significant draughts lovers meeting

but we will not be sitting there as usual draught fans (yes, there are fans too)


we will be wearing Columbus Blue Jackets jersey (me) and Washington Capitals jersey (Helen)

and we will be the loudest and the most powerful fans out there:))) yes, we will not disturb the games, but we will give them something like an extreme support

so after our appearance, on the next day, the whole draughts society will be asking the same question: Who are those girls? with our photo in jerseys on the cover of some draughts/chess magazine:)))

how about that?


Draught society, be ready, the hockey girls are coming!


How much more will you take?

It is probably not so good, if my headaches are still with me?

But at least I can feel almost every part of my brain now



let me tell you about the death

I saw it only once

when I felt into reinforcements on one construction site

This is reinforcement

in my case they were put vertically and as you can see, it has pretty much sharp endings

I still don't understand how I was able to fall right between them if they were so close to each other and I was falling directly on it

my destiny has other plans:)

I felt nothing, like okaaaay, I am falling into sharp long things, why bother thinking about it (I think my partner that day had some new gray hair when he saw me falling, so sorry about that)

But as wise Dumbledore once said:

After all, to the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure.

I am sure I will not be dead any time soon (sorry my constantly crying from the headaches brain)

But I know for sure, I will not regret anything I've said and done

may be only: but we hadn't won the Stanley Cup yet:)))

Life is wonderful when you are not afraid of the death


Don't you think you've had enough?

I had noticed, that I write this line in my lecture notes all the time

like my mind is trying to help me

Don't you think you've had enough?

Don't you think you've had enough?

Don't you think you've had enough?

Don't you think you've had enough?

Don't you think you've had enough?

I've never thought this can be so hard

Columbus Blue Jackets, I still love you, but your game sucks

Planet Earth, I still love you, but you are dying

Universe, I still love you, please take me home

Don't you think you've had enough?

I need help

Friday, November 4, 2011

Move on, move on, move on

I still can't

and that's killing me

But now I have a plan

"Everything is better with a plan!"

I'm thinking about filling my timetable with so many things, that I simply will have absolutely no time to care about anything or in my case anybody else

that is my plan now

*gone looking for Finnish courses, i have to start with something, why not with it

"Aaa, that was you"

That phrase is probably the best you can hear from your teacher:)

Keeping in mind, that I've missed almost half of her lectures

what about "that was you"

that is about my short summaries that me had to write after certain themes were given and explained, so that the teacher could see what we remembered

I guess she liked my pack of questions, as far as I remember I wrote something like "do they bury church builders in some special places?" "why do they have the labyrinth in the church if that thing came from the devil according to the books" or "they used a lot of Fibonacci spirals in that time, was it coincidence?" and so on and so on

yeah, I have a head full of questions, but lately I prefer not to ask them

That is why I'm "Aaa, that was you!":)))

Norma Jean

I know, I know, being an atheist I probably have no right to love this song, but I do love it:

Norma Jean - Deathbed Atheist

Interesting will I be regretting being atheist on my deathbed?

I'm pretty sure I will not

But who knows:)

May be we will be dancing in Hell with you


Thursday, November 3, 2011

People are like cubes

From the heights of my 25 year experience I can say now, that people are like cubes

The most simplest are like squares:

two dimensional figures, with no depth

they eat, they work, they produce babies and if you marry one, you can be sure, that tomorrow you will see the same person that you've seen through years. The problem is, those squares don't transform into something bigger, they are afraid to dream and think. Basically like robots, with no will to choose anything, same actions every single day. I think you know them, all those women and men who work all the time, but never really offer to change something in their work, to improve something, they usually are happy, when nothing changes in their lives, but if they loose their job, they break down and instead of being square, they fall into lines which they can put back into square, but most of them remain line, so that mean drinking, using drugs etc

Little bit more complicated people are like cube blocks:

It is easy to live with them and at the same time they can be interesting too, because the cube block has 6 sides and sometimes it is enough to keep the person interested in you, you have 6 different sides of you, it is not compulsory, that you use all of them, most of the people use not more than half of it, but still

You have the ability to think, it is just you prefer not to, because it is easier. Cube block people are good workers and sometimes it may happen, that somebody will offer really good idea how to improve their work, if they are brave enough. So cube block people rock:)

I consider myself being Rubik's cube type of people:

It is like you take multiply cube blocks and put it on one inner core

that's me

the core is the same, while the sides are constantly changing

it is hell of a hard work to deal with people like me, you never know, which side I choose to be today, but it is not like we are cheaters and have no constant feeling, nope, the core stays the same, and if I like you, that means I like you and I won't be replacing you without any notice to you:) but due to infinite number of ideas in my head it is hard to understand me sometimes, but that's the challenge, you can solve the Rubik's cube for years and never solve it until the end, but if you will understand thee system, you will understand how to deal with me. That's the good thing, you will never get bored with Rubik's cube type of people, at the same time, you never know what to expect from them

The best people are like hypercubes:

I'm not gonna even try to explain what is hypercube, accept it as a fact, that is the best women and men on planet Earth:) I hope I will meet at least one of them

That is my theory of "People are like cubes"


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

My new bearded love

Charlie Hunnam

some men were born to wear beard:)

but not all of the men


Doubledrive - Hollowbody

some songs make me smile

some songs make me cry

some songs make me jump

some songs make me whirl

this song is the only one, that makes me wanna dance around the man while playing "short touches" with him


You're empty now
And emptiness is not your friend
You're spilling it out
You've been around enough to know
Can you figure it out
(You're empty now You're empty now You're empty now)
Are you empty?

I'm not afraid to let you know
You got a hollow body yeah
What does it take to fill the void
You got a hollow body yeah

Cows and trust issues

Yesterday we made a presentation about cow stables

I knoooow, how awesome our university is, if being a technoecology student we make a presentation about cows

and I knew nothing about how do cows live in the stables

well, after reading 71 pages of best available techniques in that field, I'm practically ready to build my own:)

So yeah, I still don't understand why do cows stand still there, if they live in such a horrible environment, like cooome ooooon, fight for your freedom

anyway, Anne, if you are reading this, it is awesome working in one team with you!:) if you are not reading this, well, you already know it:)

on the other hand, there were 4 people in my group

only 2 did the job

Anne and I

the rest of my team completely ignored our letters, I guess it was impossibly hard to write a short letter with explanation: sorry, have absolutely no time, can't deal with the cows now

but nooooooooooooooo

people like when other team mates wait for them until the very end, and in the very last day when it is obvious that nobody will answer you, you have to do the task without any help from them

so booooo yooooou, dear team mates, who ignored my letter

I can understand when for some reason you don't have time to do homework, but I will never understand indifference. If you don't respect my work and my time, then go to hell

These cows will haunt you in your dreams:

May the cows be with you