Wednesday, December 29, 2010


Hello to us!

This time of the year, yes, full of giving and accepting gifts is kinda hard

Dont get me wrong, accepting gifts is probably awesome, but I always feel awkward, like and why the hell are you giving this to me on a certain day of the year?

I'm more like a giver, i like choosing something for someone, buuut, if he/she is some kind of my relative, whom a see once a year, then it will be a problem, cos I dont know almost nothing about you, so how the hell can I know, what do you need or what interests you currently have, so beeee mooooore speciiiifiiiic

I think, that we surely have some sort of a world conspiracy crap here. Cos how else would you explain all of those typical gifts from the male part of population:

  • giant teddy bears
  • some bloody gold/diamond crap
  • expensive perfume

Dunno, dont get why girls are so happy having that

In my world giant teddy bears are giant dust collectors, and how can they be bears, if most of them are looking like big brown pillows with ears? Creators should really check the dictionary, to see how bears are looking like. And with gold and etc crap is is more like with the fur, when I look at something, no matter how beautifully it is made, all I see is black people covered in mud climbing in the mines, I'm sorry, but thats how it is. I may be some sort of The Evil, but when I see how woman are getting happier receiving perfume, my first thought is: are you sweating like some animal if you need so much of parfume or what?:)))yeah, I'm Evil:)and and and that thing, that they usually repeat: but my man will know my scent of parfume, so if I will constanly make something good for my man wearing this parfume, he will subconsciously associate my scent with something good all the time. like rly, RLY???:)))i wanna see that book where they took those ideas:))like cooome oooon, do ya really think you are the only woman using the same perfume in your city?youd better think again

But I'm not some monster, who criticizes all the gifts

In fact it is not the money value of the present which makes it perfect

Nope, it is the thought you put in it

Let me show you my favorite gifts

1. Polar bear

Mostly because it is my first gift that I remember how I get:)from parents on new year, many many many years ago

His name is, weeeeell, Bear:)

and if speaking the whole truth, I rarely even played with him

I simply knew, that he is my Bear

But he was washed many times in the washing machine (because of my fear of insects) , so that is why he looks like an old man now:)

I still talk with him when passing him: Bear, it will all gonna be all right, doesnt it?

2. Chocolate

This candy was given me by some Bobcat driver, I dont even know his name, when we were working on some road construction site. he simply came with this candy, cos as he said: Ive noticed that you didnt have dinner break, so I guess, you are hungry now. How adorable is that?:)

3. Nail

This one is weird, I knooooow:)

That was given by a construction worker in one plant construction site:)) He said he wanted me to have something to remind about him after we will stop working together:)And hell yes this is one good reminder:))) I call it metal flower:)

4. Picture

Have you ever had a picture which will remain for a really long time, and not on the paper, but in the cement:)

I had:) And once again, got it on the construction site. It is still the most beautiful gift that i ever had:)It was already getting late, when we were working, placing anchor bolts on the right places, and one of the column's base was already filled with cement, so he simply took some stick and draw small house, large flower, the sun and my name on that wet cement:)with no apparent reason, no certain occasion, simply cos he wanted to do that:)

You see, the best gifts are not those expensive ones, but the ones, that were given to you absolutely occasionaly, simply to make your day a little bit brighter:)

And remember: I like you.

Monday, December 27, 2010

My favorite youtube channel

Hello to us!

Soooooooo, my fav is weeeell Philip DeFranco

I simply get his jokes:)

my fav video is probably this one

Yeah, I like that weird guy

Little bit evil

And remember: I like you.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Being atheist

Hello to us!

I'm atheist, the one who doesnt believe in god with no exceptions.

During the Christmas holidays people always say to you something obvious like Merry Christmas etc, and I accept their congrats and give them mine, but I always add in the very end, that "but I'm atheist"

In my family everyone else believes in god in some ways, but we rarely make some Christmas dinners etc, our holiday is New Year

And why I dont believe in god

Well, it cant fit into my brain, that there was nothing which exploded and it became all after a loooot of time, sounds bit unreasonable, doesnt it? But well, this theory is much better, than There was nothing, which transformed into the almighty god, who created everything else in 7 days:) when you put it that way, it seems even more unreasonable, than the big bang theory. Does your god have some relatives too?the small gods who somehow united in one big almighty one, i dunno

And that christian all forgiveness thing. So you can be the worst jerk in the world, you can kill people, rape kids, steal from millions of people, hit your wife and do whatever you want, buuuuuuuuuuuuut if you before your death repent for your sins, then you will be the good one again, cos you know, god forgives everything, or close to everything

Nope, things dont work that way in my world

Im more into like "law abiding citizen" people

Who dont depend on god's will, and use the lex talionis rule, but in much more aggressive way: in my interpretation that would be something like: if you stole my wallet, i will find you, and take twice as much and will cut your hand off, cos you started it first, taking what you want from people

Cos obviously our democracy crap doesnt work nowadays, because people are afraid of death, but not about being selfish criminals. cos you know, you will give money for the church, and because of that you will go to the heaven

Of course you may be coward and dependent on some god's will, cos it is all big and shiny and almighty and will always help you. and all you have to do, is believing in it and praying for him, and give some of your money for churches

Even if it is drug or gun blood money

To sum up:
  • religion was created to manipulate people, take their will to do something, take money and simply control them
  • god was transformed from nothing
  • and in 7 days created all the rest
  • you can be moster all your life, knowing, that if you get repent for your sins, you will be good
  • you are afraid of everything new, until the church will approve it, but thats okay, that what you must do all the time
  • you cant be responsible for your own mistakes, cos obviously that was your god's will, which made you do that
  • your whole life you live under the protection of that transformed nothing

Thanks, I surely will stay being atheist

But I get, that people need to believe in something what is better than them, they need a place to have, if they have some troubles in their lifes, so I'm okay with that, just stop trying to make me a believer

I believe in nature

So you may consider me being part of green religion:)who believes, that even rocks are alive:)

And remember: I like you.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

This December

Hello to us!

Something went terribly wrong in this December

I dont know why

But it is like the whole world is going to explode any time soon

I still dont have that wonderful Christmas mood

Dunno why

Dont care much about it somehow

Like someone took that spirit out of me and killed it, while I was sleeping

Buying presents, well, last year that time was full of carefully thinking what to buy and why. Every single present was given with a small part of my careness. This year it is more like "what do you want for holidays?what do you want for holidays?what do you want for holidays?" and so on, until I get a certain respond as specific as it can only be, then i will go shopping and get it. with no emotions

I have almost close to zero decorations in my room

Simply because I dont care, if it is in my room or isnt

And no tree too

So I guess I'm Grinch this year

But whaaaaatever

And remember: I like you.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Jana and hockey

Hello to us!

and to You, my awesome team

If When you come back to Europe, you will probably see me doing something like this:

Yeap, thats my "Like whaaaaat" angry hockey face:) If you see it, this means that something gone wrong, for example, stop throwing my Captain on ice.

And yes, I do wear that scarf almost all the time

Question, if i will wear that scarf which is made of one of the best memories of my life on New Year's Night, will you win then?

And remember: I like you.


Hello to us!

Columbus Blue Jackets, thank you, thank you, thank you,thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,thank you, thank you, thank you,thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,thank you, thank you, thank you,thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you

And remember: I like you.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Things I dont like

Hello to us!

Rubik's cube

Evil toy

I've killed the rest of my nerves playing with it

Evil toy

See, it even photographs in the dark being all evil

And remember: I like you.

Lets go greener

Hello to us!

Well, I'm greener than the most of the people I personally know

Buuuuut, I'm not gonna wash your brain with the words: How can you eat meat, youre dead bodies eater, nooooaw

We make our own choices

The only thing that irritates me aaaaalllll the time is fur wearing people

I cant do nothing with it, but I just want to hug that piece of fur and cry: I'm so so so so so sorry, that you are dead for nothing, exuse those stupid people who killed you and more stupid girl/boy who wears your beautiful body.

Yeap, I have the brain full of pictures, and when I look at someone wearing some clothes made of fur, then I see how those little animals used to run to their little animal kids and suddenly were killed by some hunter

Or how they lived all their life in the cage

All in the name of fashion

When someone tells me: But, Jana, we live in the cold place, where fur is necessary; then I always tell them, that: You see, Polar expeditions dont wear fur clothes, well, mostly because we are smart enough to develop new type of clothes, which weight nothing but are much more warmer. Except for native people, who live in extreme temperatures, cos well, they eat bambies all the time, so it is logical for them to use their skins too, but still, if you give them a choice, they will choose our new clothes:)

To sum up:

Would you be so nice, and stop wearing fur?

And yes, Im the member of PETA, Greenpeace, TreeHugger and NRDC

I may be dont care about people that much, but i do care about my wild friends.

And remember: I like you.

Monday, December 20, 2010


Hello to us!

I've found some short videos of our crazy family just having fun on Christmas last year

We should do it more often

Im playing snow tennis, my niece and my nephew are trying to kill me throwing snow tennis balls at me


And remember: I like you.

Friday, December 17, 2010


Hello to us!

Dear Columbus Blue Jackets, will you be so nice, and win the next game for me?

I will always love you, no matter what, but really, we do need some win game too

Remember those times, in this autumn, when we were at the top 10 in statistics

Lets go back to it

I need a little more time for myself, to rebuild me, so I'm really sorry, that I cant watch all of your games

One more thing is because I live in Estonia, I can see live games only at 2 AM, sometimes 5 AM

And when you have a head full of painful thoughts, then it is really hard to sleep at night, and when my alarm clock wakens me up, so I could watch your game, I really become a little bit mad

But I'm working on it

So, please, work harder too, I wanna see you in June

Playing for Stanley Cup

Winning Stanley Cup

I believe in you

Rick Nash is my Captain

Mathieu Garon, you are amazing goaltender

And remember: I like you

Who is that man II

Hello to us!

I still dont remember who is this man

Buuuuut, now i know, why he was in my Favorites

He is for sure some actor, cos i saw him in a movie, and all I was thinking then, was how he looks like Medvedev

You know, Russian President

the cute one

not the old school monster

They really are like father and son:)

And remember: I like you.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Who is that man?

Hello to us!

So I was bit busy lately with all of those exams, presentations etc

But today, I was looking through my "Favorites" bar

And I found this photo

I am the only person using my computer, but I have no idea, what the hell is this men doing in my Favorites

I suppose that he is may be some actor

But really


I need a brain check, if I dont remember what I've done:)

And remember: I like you.

Sunday, December 12, 2010


Hello to us!

And hello to Columbus Blue Jackets, who probably read this

cos WE WOOOOON:)))

Just when I said, that you need me, and I'm now back to you

You wooooooooon:)



3:1 :)

Rick Nash was born in skates:)

And with a hockey stick in hand

Because he simply flies over the ice

when he is not lying down on it, because some jerk threw him down

Congrats to Columbus Blue Jacket for having such an awesome team!

And remember: I like you.

Stieg Larsson

Hello to us!

I did it

I have bought "The girl with the dragon tattoo"

in paperback

cos simply I couldnt wait 3 days or more to get a hardback copy

I started reading this trilogy with The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest, or in other words the last book, the third one

Not because I liked the title or cover or whatever else, but simply, because that was my "books, that bookstores made me to buy". Somehow. With no apparent reason.

And OMG how awesome that book is.

I was reading it with emotions like: "noooooo, he didnt!!! hoooooow did she do that???leave her aloooone!you, little sick bastard!!!"

Yeap, I, usually ice cold person, with no emotions, reacted like that

and I have a thing being very picky, but this book didnt get any of my usual negative comments.

And even after that I already know all of the story and how it ends, I still went to the bookstore to get the first book

Thats like some kind of obsession:)

It is not some crap about vampires or brain free reading like most of woman's writers or brain overloading reading like my favorite Wells

That book is full of ugly things

And courage and confidence and pure anger

If Salander were real person

I would use her name and her story just to throw it to your face with the words "Stop being afraid and scared, fight for your life, you little pigs"


But you will never do that

Cos you are too scared to reach for the best

So, to sum up: Millenium trilogy is a must read


And remember: I like you.

Being all polite and nice

Hello to us!

You know, that I'm considering myself like being Evil, lately even Evil God

But let me explain to you

What does it mean being Evil

It only means, that I think that I'm much better than most of the people. Not you, of course:)


There is a HUGE But:)

I try not to show it a lot

People, knowing, that im not that friendly girly girl are mostly the people i know for a long time. It is some sort of a defense, being honest and evil

I'm only 24, but I collected hell of a lot of knifes in my back

So here is a simple rule:

Do not expect something from people

Nothing at all, not good, not bad

Accept their existance and thats all

Cos in the end they will either stuck another knife in your back or will use you.

That is why I'm having that iridium wall of sarcasm yes, I know scary words like "iridium"

For people I hardly know I'm all polite and nice, if they dont disturb me.

I find it very logical to help people, you dont know

I know it is hard to believe, but I help old people to carry some of their heavy bags on the streets. although not often, cos as I already said to you, people are afraid of everything and everyone, so when a girl like me (pierced and tattooed) offers a help to some granny "can I help you with that?" most of the times they look at me like i had already robbed them:))))but sometimes they say "oh, thank you" and a lot of good words

Another logical thing I do is in shops skipping ahead people with fewer items, that i have. Cos why the hell should you wait with your one chocolate bar, when im having products for the whole week, it is simply polite, if I offer you to switch places, so that you will go first.

But somehow, it surprises people all the time

One thing I will never do, is that I will never help mothers to carry their baby carriages into the public transport, simply because Im not sure, they will react normally, cos if I were them, then stay away from my baby and never touch anything close to him/her

But thats me:)


who thinks, that if all people were as good and smart and responsible as I am, world will be a much better and safer place

And remember: I like you.

Friday, December 10, 2010


Hello to us!

My official apology: I'm so-so-so sorry, Columbus Blue Jackets, for not watching lately your games. cos really, that would be the only reason, which explains whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy the hell are you losing so much.

Have you forgotten our plans to win the Stanley Cup, or what?

You have awesome captain, amazing goalies (booooth), stable team, and yet you are loosing lately like some sort of New York Islanders crap.

Coooome ooooon, boys

Im back

You should start playing like my team now

We will win Stanley

For sure

Because we are Columbus Blue Jackets

And remember: I like you.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Things I like

Hello to us!


I like books.

Im 100% bookworm

Every time in library or book store Im losing the track of time

I seriously can live there

Due to that my mother tongue is Russian, but I was born in Estonia, but I love how English sounds, I always buy 3 books(no, not the same books). Yeap, in my world there is no discrimination:)))

I have different places for books, but they are always consisting of 3 books.

For example this one is my "smart books place"

And this one is my "everyday books place" (and yes, I love reading books for children)

I also have "library books", "school library", "school library top 3" and "books i have bought because books store took my soul that day":)))

And I read them all at the same time


I'm weird, dont bother to tell me that

And remember: I like you.


Hello to us!

Sometimes my brain shuts down

And I cant do nothing with it

It is because of certain type of women voices

You know, those which are close to ultrasound

And all you wanna do is close your ears or sit next to some boy, just to hear some normal voice tone

Not that squeaked sound, which permeates every single cell of your body

And sadly enough, but for my perception of world a lot of women have that kind of voice

To sum up: if you see, that somehow I'm not listening to you, that possibly means, that you have that type of a voice and my brain was overloaded with it, so to prevent further damage it shut down itself. Sorry, but that is the sad truth.

For male voices I love so called "rrr-voice":)))

Rise Against , Russel Crowe ,
Bruce Willis has it too, but in a little bit lighter form, not rrr, but rr:)))

You probably have that voice too.

At least I hope that you do

And remember: I like you.

December 8th

Hello to us!

Do you know what day today is?

Yeap, it is December 8th

Our own holiday

The one, I made of many years ago

You forgot about it?

Well, I can explain

The whole name of that holiday is bit long: "December 8th calendar day is terrible calendar day!"

Be careful this day, cos everything bad can happen.

For real

December 8th is like 13th Friday, but without all of that creepy spooky crap

Simply accept it as a fact, and have some fun

Cos you can always say: no, it is not my fault, that happened because of December 8th calendar day is terrible calendar day!

Good luck to us!

And remember: I like you.

Monday, December 6, 2010

My cat

Hello to us!

Let me tell you about my cat.

His name was Kuzja.

He died this summer.

Everyone had told me, that we were very alike. Same polite evil souls.

If we put some food for him, then we would call him Kuzja Vladimirovich, go here and eat, your highness

And he went with that lazy walk, like he had givin us some sort of a favor, okaaay, I will eat.

I miss him

I miss how we run like insane crushing everything on our way, just to watch, who will be first, who runs faster. And then if i win, i will call him: Kuzka, you're lazy grey ball of wool, I woooooon!!!And if I lose, then: Thats only because you have 4 paws:)

I miss how we walk together quietly, like a pair of vampires. But even if we were walking together, Kuzja always had to enter the room first. Cos you know, he is was the cat:)

And like all cats always do, Kuzja most of the time slept. Everywhere, where he could.

I love this photo of him. He is like "aaaa cooomeee oooon, leave me alone, I wanna sleep" under the blanket and with a toy:)

The first night with us, he slept with me, cos when I woke up next morning I have found him sleeping on my head:)He loved the most my mother, because she was the one, who gave him food. I was his friend, with whom it is so awesome to run and play.

And he was my little friend, who protected me from the bugs. All types of them, he would catch and eat them all.

You simply cant be mad and angry on the cat, even if he broke something, or didnt sleep the whole night, running alone for the ghosts, or he was biting you, or etc etc.

I miss him.

Even his "hug of the death". That was when he was hungry, but I was too lazy to feed him, then he will be jumping on your leg, hug it with all paws and bite it, til you will not feed him.

But this summer he died.

Because we gave him all the time all of those Whiskas food. NEVER BUY IT. If you want to have your cat alive, simply dont do that mistake, like we did.

I remember all of those sleepless nights, when i was sitting with him and simply constantly asking him to live. While cleaning the blood after him. Back to that week, when he was fighting for his live i realize, that i was like some sort of a mom for him. cleaning all the mess and running on the mornings to the pet doctor, cos he felt worse. when somebody asked me how much i have already spent on the pet doctor and when i answered all the time: are you insaaaane, it is just a cat. You see, he never was just a cat. The cat. And friend.

The night he died I told him: hold one, tomorrow we will go to the other pet doctor, the best one in town. But he probably was too tired to fight.So he died.

I cried all the night, and in the morning my eyes were hard to open, because of those tears. And the next night. And the next one...

I buried him in the pet cemetery.

But it is almost half a year now, and im still looking at the door, waiting for him to come in.

I miss him.

He will always be my friend.

And remember: I like you.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Left Hand

Hello to us!

And to my left hand

Cos today is the day of me being left handed

I moved my mouse to the left side of keyboard, and daaaaamn, that is uncomfortable

When I was taking this photo of my left hand, even my camera, which i looooove a lot Panasonic Lumix DMC-FX3 is not really for left handed person. Do they make cameras for left handed?

Even editing this post take a lot of time, cos working with mouse on the left side is much much much slower that on the right.

Washing head and brushing teeth was a challenge too, opening shampoo bottle using left hand took like infinity to open it. And brushing teeth, ooooh, it was like I was living in slow motion dimension, I understood how to hold toothbrush, but I simply couldnt make my left hand move as fast as when im brushing teeth with the right hand.

On a positive side is mirrors cleaning, it is again much slower, than with the right hand, but the end result is much better, cos you simply have enough time while cleaning and thinking how you wish your left hand works as fast, you notice every single tiny dirty thing on a mirror, so clean the mirrors with the left hand

Knife holding is hard. very very hard. putting butter on the bread took a lot of my balancing abilities. but i did it, yaaaaaaaaaay.

It is 13 30 and I'm already opening doors without freezing for a second to change a hand:)good for me

I have noticed, that Samsung have all of the buttons on the right side of the products. I have Samsung netbook and monitor, and i do think, that left handed people use their right hand to turn the netbooks on, cos well, it doesnt take too much skills to do that, but having all of the monitor setting's buttons on the right side probably would be uncomfortable for lefthanders. Already because when you use it with left hand you simply dont see much of what the hell are you changing there, cos your own hand covers half of the monitor. With the right hand you have absolutely no problems with it. But using touchpad is as simple as with the right hand, so if you are left hand person, consider buying netbook/notebook rather than PC i guess:)

But I'm really good with spoons.

18 00 and I then i got tired, my brain understood how to deal with it, so i feel as normal, as usual, living lefthanded. Yeap, it took some time and some blood:)cutting vegetables with the knife in left hand left a lot of small stratches and a little bit of the deep ones too, but learning on the blood kinda helped, cos at the end, I'm as good doing things with the right hand, as with the left. Except for possibly writing, cos i simply didnt have anything to write:)

And remember: I like you.

Friday, December 3, 2010


Hello to us!

Let me tell you about our hockey trip to Sweden

Im sorry, I'm not in a good mood today, so I probably will not add any of the photos

The first thing, you have to have before going to hockey is, well, are, hockey tickets:)

I can write a whole story about how i was running for those tickets, but to sum up, i got it from a boy from ebay, who sold me his ticnet account with 3 tickets in it, he himself was from russia, currently studying in Germany, and he bought those tickets by using a UK card:))to a girl from Estonia, you see, when something is suppose to be happening, it will happen.

I will skip the part on the ship, cos it is always the same awesome sailing time. I love ships.

So welcome to Stockholm! Maps and dictionaries in the pocket and hello beautiful world. I was travelling with a girl, who for some unknown reason was afraid to speak to people and ask them for the directions. I was kinda tired of it, so i told her, that im not gonna help you finding the hostel, i will just follow you. Which was extremely hard for me, cos my legs were not able to move normally, i was like some sort of a good bye from Estonia, that awful leg pain. Gamla stan and we are almost there. Exept for i still didnt tell my friend where should we go, well, after some time, she realized, that she was lost, so finally she was able to ask for the directions, while i was still moving slowly, like an old grandma. But still, when i saw a girl with a NHL hoodie, well of course i will run towards her with questions:)))she was such a nice girl

Rygerfjord Hostel that was our hostel, and the first question is whaaaaaat the hell, we were there at about 11 but signing in was only from 13 00 or even 14 00, like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the hell???my leg pain was insane, so i told my friend, that we should split up, and while she was discovering the old town, i was havving my granny walk near the hostel. And when i couldnt move any more, i found some fast food crap, where possibly the only time in sweden i found personal, who didnt know english, so i ordered french fries in swedish language:)yeap, how awesome is that?pommes frites:)and after another short walk i have found amazing ice-cream bar, with amazingly beautiful people:)

But back to hostel, i should warn you, it is like a boat hostel, which is awesome, but whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the hell how extremely uncomfortable double room they have, i really was afraid to sleep there, i thought there were bugs, but i havent seem it, but still, window is not possible to open, so the temperature in the room was tooooo high for my comfort zone.

If compare to ship's cabin, the ship's one is like a 5 star hotel:)))

And those awful WC rooms

But at least people there were amazing

It seems to me, that every person in Sweden is amazing for me:)

So i spent the rest of the time til the game in our hostel room, having those awful leg pain

Buuuuut, at 18 00 we were ready, and hello Globe!:)you probably should know some of the rules, that we discovered in Sweden

Rule 1:

Follow the ducky, if you want to see a hockey:)

Yeap, in tunnelbana we saw a boy in mighty ducks jersey, so you really must not have a big brain to understand where is he going:)So chasing him, we come to the Globe, and the rest is history already:)

We got back at 1 am probably, so we had to enter a security code to hostel alarm system, and that was awesome:)

Sleeping there was awful, but what to do, what to do

We had cancelled the next day booking, cos i have weird dreams, and one of them was to spend a whole night in the unknown city

Damn, i already tired of typing all of the text, but i will try to

So 10 00 check out, and we are free to explore the city (i still had pains), so slussen, gamla stan, tunnelbana, yeah, most of the day we were at tunnelbana watching how ordinary people live in sweden:)we decided that one of the building was invaded by Ikea:)))

But rule number 2

Rule 2:

Follow the green lights

We didnt know, where to go and what to watch, so when we got the green light on one side of the road, and the red one on the other side, then we with no slowing down and watching on the map, where the hell were we going, we followed the green light:)That was a lot of fun:)

Coffee shops, yummy food

We didnt know where the hell are busses going, cos we didnt have a bus directions map, but omg, how amazingly polite are drivers in Sweden, in english they had explained to us, where to go, and how to get there:)And my friend finally was not thaaaat afraid of talking to people

So being mean sometimes helps

It was getting darker and colder outside, when my friend offered to have a late bus and drive somewhere, i said yes and we did, buuuuut in the bus, she was constantlyasking where are we going and etc, so i broke down, and being all mad and angry left the bus, and so did she, so in the end, i took her in the starting point, just being angry, how extremely afraid people can be. I told her, that im not afraid of people if they want to kill me, then they must be afraid of me, cos i can kill them, you know, you shoulnd mess with Jana.

You now may understand, that the night being homeless wasnt as great as i hoped it will be. Buuuuuut, i was lying on a city bench, for a short time, like a normal homeless girl with a big backpack:))))

Have you ever been in gamla stan (old town) after the midnight? well, we were, and we we sitting in some yard playing the "City" game, i sadly dont know, how it is in english, you know, that game, when one person says Tallinn, and the next one should tell a city starting with N like Narva and the next ring starts with A etc etc, but i won:)))


then we were walking in the city full of old old old buildings, black cats and ghosts:)))that was kinda creeeeeepy:)

but we ended up being for 3 hours in Mc Donalds. Have you ever slept in Mc Donalds? well, i had:)not the most comfortable place for sleeping, there were a loooot of drunk people:)and homeless people too

So we stayed there til the tunnelbana was opened, and we picked the longest tunnalbana road and yeah, slept there with all of our bags:)))

and by the way i looooved the public transport organization there, all busses are clean, tunnelbana is full of trash, but well, they obviously dont have trashcans there, as my friend explained, because of a possibility of terrorist attack

Rule 3:

Always have enough swedish kronor

that was my biggest mistake, i had euro, and i was forced to wait till the morning, because banks and currency excange places are not working on sundays there, most of it, so it was good, that i had a friend with swedish money:))

I love Sweden, every single part of it, people there are amazing, i talked to many of them, and I even discussed immigrants policy with one woman:))))

For sure i will come back in a year or so, or maybe the next autumn, if there is going to be another NHL game:)))Cos we still dont know where the "J"'-s stop.

And remember: I like you.

Thursday, December 2, 2010


Hello to us!

Today, while reading Stieg Larsson "The girl who kicked the hornets nest" I realized, what is my biggest problem.

No, it not, that I am not a friendly person:)

It is that I fall in love like in seconds, I've never been in love for real, but it doesnt stop me to fall in love with every single person of the opposite gender I know:)well, almost every

Sometimes it lasts for minutes, sometimes for months

Back to book, then i have found this sentence: "Nobody can avoid falling in love," he said. "They might want to deny it, but friendship is probably the most common form of love."

So I probably have some friends, the one who I want to stay alone and miserable until I meet my the one and the only. Simply because I love them with that "friendship love". So I really must stop doing that

Cos I will meet you this month

I know:)

But what if not?

What if you dont even exist?

What if all of my kindness that im saving for you, is useless

Sometimes I think, that I want too much, because I know, that I will give even more back

Sometimes I think, that I should have accepted all of those "I like you, lets have a second date" without saying "Sorry, im not that into you". May be then I wouldnt feel myself like some kind of a lonely ship, sailing towards the North Pole full of big dreams and hopes.

Sometimes I think, that I should look like a girl, you know, face full of make up, body covered in fur, bitchy mood. I tried, but I cant, its like you are drawing some other girl's face on your own, simply because it will attract more people to you. I cant stop feeling myself like a clown under a mask. But I probably should start doing that.

Sometimes I think, that I will die alone, but happy.

Sometimes I think, that I dont want that

It is simply getting harder with years, you know, to live without the one, the one you can call at 3 AM screaming, I need your help, the polar bear in zoo had escaped and now it is chasing me. And he will come. With no such thing like "are you insane???look at the time, I'm working tomorrow, call a police."

So I dont know, should I wait for you, or should I give up all of my dreams and be normal in a stable relationships with some guy, who i dont love, but with him i am in love, working in the office doing useless job, having some kids and just be ordinary.

Life is hard

Especially, when you are 24, and you still have some dreams, not meant for your age and country and people and etc etc

10 july 2011 i will break down

So I really hope, that you will find me before my 25th Birthday

Or I will become normal.

And remember: I like you.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Hello to us!

And Biathlon season is opened!

you know, that we like to watch biathlon, dont you?

I personally prefer to watch men

like a sun shining brightly is of course Ole Einar Bjoerndalen

Biathlon Superman

isnt he adorable?

gooooo, Ole Einar, gooooo

and no, dont listen to them, you are not too old to win

And then there was Emil Hegle Svendsen

I consider him Evil Ole Einar's twin:)

just look at him

his face screams "a shuuuuuuut up, I know that I'm better than you, so f*ck off"

and the truth is: yes, you are:))))

so good luck in this season, wish you be the second, you know, after Bjoerndalen:)

And I want that the third one will be Lars Berger or Alexander Os

it's not like I dont know, that they are not much of a stable ones, but I have big hopes for them

Yeap, Norway has my heart in Biathlon


Happy new season to us

And remember: I like you.

Things I like

Hello to us!

Slippers and padjamas pants

I like them like a loooot

As you may notice, my slippers are snails

But of course they do not make any snail's voices

Cos you know, it would have been too easy, for being my slippers

So, sometimes, when i use them, I they make "wooooof" sound:)yeap, like a dog:)

My cat was afraid of them, like d'oh, woooooofing slippers:)))

But somehow they have no names

but thats okay:)

not everything deserves to have a name

And remember: I like you.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Knowing too much can kill

Hello to us!

this week is full of useless learnings

and useful too

but mostly useless

I probably should attend lectures more constantly

*you really should not postpone preparing to exam til the last evening

And remember: I like you.

Friday, November 26, 2010


Hello to us!

It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
Rene Descartes

How can you not be in love with that men's beautiful mind?

And remember: I like you.

My theory about cars

Hello to us!

Every car has a soul, which attracts a certain kind of people. Thats my theory:)

Let me explain it

The car I hate the most is BMW

and yes, you can shut up now, I now it is comfortable, reliable etc etc insert some "woooow how awesome those cars are" crap here

but it has a black soul

and not the skin colour black, but the rotten fruit's like black

That car screams: ahaa, I'm too awesome for most of you

No, you're not.

And those lights, oh those lights, it always looks like that car is in constant search of something illegal to take or do

That kind of tricky bitch

and yes, I think it is a girl

But people who choose this car are mostly boys (even those 40 years old ones), who desperately need attention from girls

and I can not place a picture here, cos mostly BMW owners have the same black soul, like their cars

But lets imagine them:

like seriously, whyyyyyyyyyyy?

the same why question here, but the bigger label is, the better it suits

and jeans with some white sweathirt

Its like a fully depended on other's opinion boy

You see now, that I hate that car:)

As much as I hate BMW I looooooooooooooooove Ford

Thats my car

Thats my boy (and yes, it is a boy)

My dream car is Ford Mustang '67

To die for car

Someday I will buy it, but dont worry, im not gonna drive it myself, cos obviously it is men's car:)

So, about Ford

It is like a typical American car

It drives, it breaks, it lives

Most of the time it is quiet

But you really really shoulnt make the Ford's owner mad, cos it is the time when all hell breaks loose

They are calm and simple persons, but at the same time, they will not run away from the troubles (like BMW owners will do, or call for some criminal help, like Mercedes owners will do) but they are gonna face it and solve it, even if it means, that they may loose some part of their body in the fight.

abaout the lights: Ford is always smiling, depends on the model, that smile may be tired, friendly, evil, angry, old man smile etc etc

Ford owners can stay for a night at the 5 star hotel as ready as in the woods

They look like an ordinary people: some casual shoes, jeans and shirts

But they somehow have that aaaaaa f*ck off, I dont care what you think about me

I can write a whole book about why I love Fords:))))

So a quick peek into other cars:

Mercedes (men)

Key words: dirty money, guns, drugs, expensive whores, family man, who cheats on his wife, fat

Peugeot (girl)

Key words: youth, french girls, shoes

Renault (boy)

Key word: Peugeot's evil twin

Opel (most of it are boys and I loooove their new cars)

Key words: "I dont care what are you thinking about me, because I know, that I'm awesome"

Volkswagen, Honda, Toyota for me dont have souls, those are like working cars with no specific feelings. Nice cars, not less, not more:)

Feel free to discuss it with me

And remember: I like you.

Things I dont like

Hello to us!


I have never liked it

Cos it made me too emotional

I seriously cried when some animal there died

And you know, that piece of plastic, which can turn that damned toy off always get lost like in a day, and you had to create your own

So I always covered my tamagotchi with a pillow just not to hear how it dies


evil toy

it hurts

for real

And remember: I like you.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Things I like

Hello to us!

Snow globes

I love snow globes

I dont know exactly how much do I have

But not more than 7

It is that thing about globes, that when you have too much of it, it looses its charm

Such a peaceful thing to watch

And remember: I like you.

Why are you afraid of thinking?

Hello to us!

Have you ever noticed that people dont think much lately?

You tell them something, and they believe in it

You show them something on TV and they believe it

And I dont really understand why

Is it because they are so naive, or simply because it is too hard to think and to make you own conclusion?

I love Rene Descartes

I mean his brain

"If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things."

I doubt almost everything

I love physics and chemistry, but I find most of it illogical

I wish I could doubt absolutely everything

But I cant do that yet

Somehow when somebody tells me something about himself/herself i fully believe it

cos whats the point of lying about yourself?

Apparently there is a point, otherwise people wouldnt use it so often

Someday I will find it

That point

And remember: I like you.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Hello to us!

I probably can live there

yea, watching game highlights is a good tradition now

Especially when my Columbus Blue Jackets won the game:) with Nashville Predators

I find it pretty funny, that one of the goal was made by my Nash:)

Nashville - Nash


2:0, you go, booooys, weeeeee saluuuuuuuute yoooooou

btw does anybody know why the hell are they (all of the teams) fighting so much now?It is only my second season, but im sure, that last season they were much calmer

And so sorry for that, but i havent laughed for so much since i dunno

Caps vs Devils 0:5, like aaareeee yooou insaaaane?

The second from the top loses to the second from the bottom

with five to zero

see, another reason to love hockey:)))

everything can happen

But as for me, they may lose to everyone if my Jackets will continue to get the points

cos dear Columbus Blue Jackets, we need you in Playoffs

and you have not only one amazing goalie, but 2

and not only one Nash, but if comparing to the last season, then much more Nashes:)

If you have some free time, then dont be lazy and vote:

My picks are:

Forwards - Rick Nash (CBJ, and who would have thought:))), Corey Perry (Ducks) and Eric Staal (Hurricanes)

Defensemen - Dustin Bufyglien (Atlanta, and I have hope for him), Joni Pitkanen (Hurricanes)

Goalie - that was the toughest choice, there are just too many of them whom I like, but stay true to my first goalie love: Ryan Miller (Buffalo)

so good luck with that

And remember: I like you.

Things I like

Hello to us!

Things I like include a lot of crap, but yeah, I like it.

Or probably it is already "we like it"

So, meet my old friend: mobile phone Sony Ericsson W300i

It is exactly as awesome as it is on photo

That part of the phone, which is missing:

It looks like somebody bit it, but no

It would be too simple for being my phone

It was usual summer evening, when we decided to go to the carousels

I remember putting my phone into the pocket of my shorts with a thought: yaaaaaay, good for me for picking shorts with deep pockets.

ohhh, naive, naive Jana

at the end i have found my phone in the hands of some woman, who was holding it and questioning is it your phone? to every person that was there. How did it get there?well, when we were having fun if feeling sick on riding the carousels is fun, dunno dunno it simply flew out of the pocket, hit some metal parts of the carousel and finally hit the ground after that high speed all covered in some oil but still working as nothing had happened. like really, I cant even suggest from what material was that produced:)))some alien's technology for sure:)) and both of the displays work too, even now after i cant imagine how much falling to the ground in all possible weather conditions The only thing that i cant use now is memory card, not the one, that is in the phone now, but the new one, in other words i can switch it and my Sim card too:)but its been a while, more than a year, since the accident, and the old card is working perfectly fine.

the only thing i dont like about my phone is calendar. it is extremely uncomfortable

People always stare at my phone and ask the same question: "why dont you buy a new one"

It is hard to understand, but after all of that crap, through which we lived, it is still working, so i guess we simply suit each other.

And you dont change your friend when he is sick, dont you? but sadly nowadays people do that a lot, so consider me old-fashion

That was a short story about my old friend. Mobile phone.

And remember: I like you.


Hello to us!

You know that awful time back to November 2010 i know it is now, but by the time i will finish this blog, because we will meet, it probably will be something more like 2011

It was is like every single thing annoys you

i haven't slept longer than 3 hours for 4 days, just because when I close my eyes, all of those words, faces, voices, sounds come to my mind


But what to do, what to do, when you in one month loose almost everybody and everything you used to care of, it definitely should upset you

But it is almost December, and we love December, you know that

I have one more week of being upset, disappointed and angry

After that i will move on

and probably then we will meet

But until then, be patient, im in awful mood, sorry

And remember: I like you.

Space minute

Hello to us!

You know, that I'm science geek. I have already explained to you my position on choosing names, letter combinations hypnotize me. But what is more interesting are numbers. not only combinations, but every single number is like a snowflake, each one is unique.

I love Mars

I find it extremely attractive for living, just look at those numbers:

Mars is much colder than Earth. Temperatures at the Martian surface vary from as low as about -195 degrees F (-125 degrees C) near the poles during the winter to as much as 70 degrees F (20 degrees C) at midday near the equator. The average temperature on Mars is about -80 degrees F (-60 degrees C).

Works for me perfectly

I even have a tattoo with those numbers: 230 127 123, and this is average distance from Earth to Mars, made from my favorite numbers and number combination

I knoooow, how awesome is that

But for sure I will miss those beautiful colors like white as snow, blue as sky and green like trees.

May be I will think of something to make my life more beautiful there

And remember: I like you.


Hello to us!

I hope you understand now, that I fear almost nothing.

And by almost I mean except bugs and yeti.

I have that weird kind of a fear, when you are only scared of yeti, just because it is tall and hairy. Like really tall and really hairy. It just dont fit into my brain, that something is like a man, but is really not. How the hell is that possible?Well science dont know yet too

And about bugs. Its not like they are ugly but they are, it is more like I am afraid, that they can crawl into my eye or ear or nose and just crawl until my brain and make their babies there. My brain is my brain, my insides are my insides, it is absolutely not for the bugs.

May be that is why I dont like, when hairdressers touch my head. JUST LEAVE MY HEAD ALONE. may be i should do a t-shirt with those words while going to hair cutting.

But my biggest fear, about which I have never ever talked to anyone is losing my eyesight. And leg. Due to my medical issues I have diabetes I can lose it like for real. It is some sort of a childish fear, but I dont know how is it possible to live without seeing all of those colours and I really hope I will live til the very end with all of my legs and eyes.

I used to be afraid of some people too. You probably know that feeling, when you are standing next to some person, and all you wanna do is scream and run like hell. But it happens in rare occasions.

Those were all of my fears.

So stop asking me whether am I afraid of heights, depths, drunk people, junkies, bad weather etc etc.

Im not

Im not afraid to die

But if you are planning to kill be, just know, long-long time ago I stopped running from the dangerous things and people. I will fight until i will win. So you probably should reconsider your plans. /insert evil laugh here

And remember: I like you.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Stockholm Columbus Blue Jackets vs San Jose Sharks

Hello to us!

One more post about hockey

and for sure not the last one

I live in Estonia, but I sold my soul and came to Sweden to see Rick Nash and Co live:)))and i dont have a soul now

October 9th, 2010 will always be one of the happiest days of my life

I will write bit later about the trip, when we were sleeping in tunnelbana and MC Donald's:)))oh those beautiful Swedish people

Surprisingly I wasnt alone. Which is more unexpected - i came with a girl from Russia who doesnt even like Columbus Blue Jackets that much:)But back to those June days, when i bought the tickets, I bought 3, because somehow i thought i will find someone from my country within my friends but i probably dont have friends

So i spent 150 Eur on the seat next to me, which belonged to my best friend - you - me

Dont get me wrong, I really tried to sell it:)))I even stood in front of Globe with a piece of paper now i hope you understand, that being silent doesnt mean that you are shy, it only means that i dont want to talk to you

But in the end, I gave it free to absolutely unknown boy.

Note to us: buy tickets only for us.not more, not less

Outside Globe:

Inside Globe:
I even cried a bit there because of that damned ticket

But then I almost died

You know

the moment your favorite team come to ice

and the whole world stops

And you simply dont care about anything but the game

My Canadian genius hockey bear in the jacket:

I know, that quality sucks, but put yourself in my place, photos is the last thing that you are thinking about, when you have you dream playing so close to you

And not only i've been so close to my Nash, but the most beautiful player in NHL played too:)))yeeeeap, sweetie Antero:


And for sure Sharky is cute, but our Stinger is just a weeeeeeeeirdo, and of course I like him even more because of that:)))

But my favorite photo is with Sharks, yes, shame on my Columbus part

It is just extremely awkward
Like every part of it is taken from some trash horror movie

I will explain it more later

The game itself wasnt as interesting, as it might be, but who cares, we wooooooon:

And a little bit of us

i can be so happy sometimes

Do you see that hoodie?

i run like insane between the periods to get this:)somehow Swedish people have a plenty of money, to buy those things and i was forced to search the whole Globe, to find that very last place, where it was still available:)i took the smallest one S, but i can fit there at least twice, but who cares:)))

And I realized that i loooooove taking photos with strangers

Here they are:

Jana and Swedish family = Columbus happy fans

I love this photo so much, it is probably one the most important photos for me, I know, that I look like im some sort of a little people, but it is just because you can look like a tiny person with people like that. They are awesome. For real

Ghost fan, I'm behind him:))))

Blue Jackets girl fans:)))I know I look like im some sort of a drunker, so shut uuuup

Oilers, Vancouver, Flyers, Columbus, we are so different, but hockey fans are soooo amazing

And of course with San Jose Sharks fans:)))

Funny people:)))

When I asked for a photo with them, they said, ahaaa, thats because we lost today to your team, but okay. and somehow she managed to bite my fan scarf:)))

And question: what do people do, when they see a person with NHL things in tunnelbana?They take a picture with him, well say hello to David Keon, you never know whom you might meet in the metro.

Memories, memories

You know what, all of the people to whom i was offering a ticket, screw you, that game was awesome:)))

Im looking forward to get to know who will play in Europe next year:)))

And i'm pretty sure, that i will go to one of those games:))

With no extra ticket this time

And remember: I like you.